Tuesday, October 18, 2016

I Will Never Let My Husband Do Yoga With Me Again

Some of you may not know how funny Mike is.  That's because he saves it all for his family.  And sometimes it comes out at the most inappropriate times.  Take this morning, for instance.  My dear friend Jessica, with whom I used to go to 6 am yoga classes in Chicago, now lives in Japan and recommended the website DoYogaWithMe.com until I can find a local class to attend.  Today I invited my husband to join me to stretch out and get back into shape after the last month of driving and heavy lifting.  Here's how it went:

Yogi appears on the screen at a chilly looking beach off Western Canada.
Mike:  Hey, that guy has on a flannel shirt, but I bet he doesn't have PANTS on.

Yogi:  Now it's time for Lion's Breath.
Mike:  Roaaarrrr....Baaaaaaaaaaa.  Hey, my lion turned into a lamb!

Yogi:  Connect the breath between your belly and your third eye.
Mike:  What?!  I don't have a third eye!  I do have a second a$$hole, but not a third eye.

Yogi:  Move fluidly between Angry Cat and Cow
Mike:  This is NOT relaxing.  I have to keep looking up at the screen.

At this point, I leave to use the bathroom (Mike:  Hey!  You can't go in the middle of yoga class!) and when I return it's finished, (thankfully).  Mike's response is "Did you Namaste to what you let go of in the toilet?"

I will never do DoYogaWithMe with Mike again.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

Oh no! That yoga session needs a merlot chaser!