Su La Li

Pee and Poo: What Homeschooling Has Done For My Kid

2011-11-14T21:37:00.009-06:00

I'm going to preface this post with two things. The first is that I, as Nourit's parent, do not encourage nor condone potty-talk (except for the times when it's funny. Please note also that this is all from Mike's side of the family.) The second is that this post will probably make her very angry with me in 15 years, but hopefully in 30 years, she'll forgive me. =)

We had just come from our weekly playdate with my homeschooling friends and their kids where the topic of conversation between the three moms was how to teach/encourage writing and spelling. One of my friends has taken the approach of creative spelling, allowing her daughter to sound out words and write them how she imagines, for the sake of freedom of thought. My other friend's son spends time writing 2-3 sentences per day in a journal about his adventures, or the weather - very acceptable and appropriate things. My contribution to the conversation was, "Nourit isn't really even interested in writing, and isn't so motivated to read on her own yet, despite the rich literature we explore together each day." Not a half and hour later I learned how wrong I was. My homeschooled child has just shown me she can independently (and sometimes with the help of her dear friend who shall remain nameless) sound out words and write an entire book, given the right motivation: pee and poo. Here it is, with English subtitles.

The Poo and Pee Book

I shake my butt to 'My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean'
Poop is Ice Cream - Pee is LemonadeI Dance with Poo and the Poo dance with the Pee
I Love Poo and I Love Pee

How to Go Potty

Do You Like Pee and Poo?

It's all there - creative spelling, rhythmic meter, metaphor, literary references, punctuation, chronology and anatomically correct illustrations. I think this could be a best-seller for the potty training set as well as 10 yr old boys.

A Bit About Avi

2011-10-10T20:32:00.008-05:00

I feel like Avi has really been growing up in the recent weeks. Oh, sure, she still sucks her thumb and throws wonderful fits, and today I spanked her and made her eat soap, all before noon (and we don't even believe in eating soap!) In between all that, though, she's shown me some increasingly mature behavior.

For instance, she is my little helper these days. She helps me fold the towels (very neatly, I might add) when Nourit runs and hides to get out of it. She spent a good 45 minutes manning the apple peeler/core-er the other day, and it actually helped me! I was able to make the applesauce, wash the dishes, clean out the fridge, all with free child labor (and a smile!) Nourit? Nowhere to be seen...(not that I compare my children.)

Here she is building an almost exact replica of Stonehenge.

And tonight, before bedtime, during a particularly diffuse book on volcanoes (Nourit: "Mommy, I don't even know what they're saying." Mommy: "Yeah, me neither.") Avi, not to be outdone by her older sister (who actually did give me a fairly lengthy and accurate description of a volcano), stopped me and said, "Okay, so I'll tell you what a volcano is. The sun comes down to the earth, it cracks open the earth, and the moon comes down, then there's hot lava coming down in the mooncrust, which is then falling down, and that makes a volcano." Indeed!

Apple Picking 2011

2011-10-02T20:41:00.011-05:00

Two days after Nourit's second tooth came out, we deemed it safe to go apple picking. That, and the weather finally shaped up. It was good timing, since the tooth had been loose since July, but waited until the first nice weekend this fall to wiggle out. The tooth-fairy came with a beautiful book, Madlenka, about a little girl whose tooth comes out and she goes around her New York City block to tell her neighbors, which is really like a trip around the world because her neighbors are all from a different country. Kinda like our backyard! If you look closely, you can see the adorable gap in the bottom row of teeth. Nourit, Lucas and Avital

We went to Radke's this year - our first departure from Garwood (although, we did sneak over there afterward to pick up some pumpkins from the pumpkin patch.) It was our neighbors' pick, and a beautiful and quiet orchard. No pony rides, no corn mazes, no crowds, and best of all, no too-loud 80's rock band. Just apples. (About 90lbs less of them since we visited today.)

Oscar, Nourit and Avital

Pyramids, Planetariums, and Paper Maché, Oh My...

2011-09-27T20:53:00.006-05:00

I am exhausted. Today the girls and I built a pyramid (scaled way, way down, and out of red hardening clay, so it will look nothing like a real pyramid, but so what? they now know all about the discrepancies between pharaoh and the rest of the ancient world, and also the phrase "you can't take it with you!"), trekked to outer space (okay, just to the planetarium, but it was in the rain and the car battery died so we took the metra and wow, is it hard pushing two children totaling around 80 lbs in a 35 lb stroller to and from the train station, so it might as well have been outer space), and started making paper maché masks (it's only been 2 months since Nourit started pestering me about these and wow - wow, are those every messy). Not to mention some avant-garde artwork just before bedtime. What a great idea - taking a top dipped in paint and seeing what kind of design it makes while it spins...all over the dining room table!

Did I mention all the cleaning up I did today, too? No? Well, I cleaned alot. But it was worth it. The sun came out for 5 minutes today and we discovered that Nourit's sundial actually does work! And the pyramid hasn't been marauded by marauders yet. And I'm finally getting to all the things the girls have been wanting to do since before we moved and that I've been putting off until "after we're settled."
I guess we're getting there! (and hiding there in the back of the really awful picture of our really fun pyramid is Avi's version of the Queen of Sheba.)

The 'Ff' Word of the Day

2011-09-20T21:57:00.005-05:00

My Ffriend gave me the idea of doing a 'letter of the day/month' with the girls, and although I really intended it for Avi, it has become one of Nourit's Ffavorite morning activities. It's simply this: I give them a sheet with the Big and Small letters, we discuss what insect/animal/other thing begins with that particular letter, and then they draw for a Ffew minutes while I interject as many words with that sound. Today we used lots of 'Ff' words. The picture to the leFft is by Ffar my Ffavorite. Nourit even got some handwriting practice (something I'd just been stressing over with some other homeschooling Ffriends, who assured me it would Ffind its way into our days organically.)

Next is Avi's picture. We'll just call this one 'Ffreaky Ffoxes with Ffour or Ffive Million Ffeet'.

Ffun, Ffun, Ffun!

Snoopy and the Big Bag of Science

2011-09-16T17:11:00.008-05:00

I love that Nourit is excited about science, because I never was...

...until today!

She's been begging for the Big Bag of Science since she saw it in a catalog last winter, but I bought her a little chemistry kit instead, which was interesting, but not super exciting (to me). So I've been prevaricating every time she asks to do more experiments. I should also say that, in general, my kids don't ask for much, which is a huge relief. (Aside from Avi and the Pillow Pets. It has been 2 years, so maybe it's time to give in to that, too.) I guess it's not really 'giving in' to get Nourit something educational. It's just that, like my mom, I needed to hear from at least 3 other people that it was worthwhile. Would she really be able to do anything besides the baking soda/vinegar volcano, or "see if it sinks or floats"experiments? After visiting a few homeschooling blogs, I was convinced, and I ordered the BIG BAG of SCIENCE which arrived yesterday.

This morning, with the bribe that we could 'do science' after she filled in her requisite handwriting worksheets, we were in investigative mode by 8 a.m., lab coats (I mean, pajamas) donned. After reading through the 70+ possible experiments, Avi chose the 'The Secret of the Diaper' and Nourit chose 'Glop' or 'Goop' or something like that. Wow. After pouring 4 ounces of water into the diaper powder stuff (there is a technical word for it, but I'm not getting up to find out), it IMMEDIATELY turned into gel. No liquid in sight. Which explains why I would sometimes find icky gel stuff in my kids' diapers (um, when I wasn't using the eco-friendly kind, which wasn't often. Honest.) So cool! Now I KNOW the evil that's happening in all those non-eco-friendly diapers. The next experiment was the gloopy stuff, which had something like PVA or TVA or ?VA, the name of which I made the girls memorize, and we combined that with something blue, shook it while counting to 60 (see? math!), and viola! GOOP! (or gloop...) Really, really fun and cool, and I can't wait for the next experiment!

Now, why was I never interested in science as a kid? Maybe because I had never read 'Charlie Brown's SECOND Super Book of Questions and Answers about the earth and space...from plants to planets!' And, I had never read the FIRST, either. This is a book we have been reading religiously since visiting Nanny and Papa and their bookshelf in the basement two weeks ago. Nourit loves this book (she calls it 'Snoopy Science' because there's a picture of Snoopy on the front)- and asks for it at every lull. She really impresses me with how much she retains. Honestly, she's more articulate than I am when describing gravity. And aside from the really boring cartoon strips, it's pretty straightforward and compelling. The problem is that it was written in 1977.

Now, I'm pretty sure a few things have changed since then. I explained that Pluto has been downgraded, and that satellites are now also used for cell phones, and (my favorite), the answer to "Will there be other women in space?" (besides the first woman cosmonaut in 1963) was, "Probably." (That was when I checked the issue date! Not very encouraging for a girl who talks about going to outerspace like it's Europe.) Her other favorite going now is "The Tiniest Giants" about a group of researchers who found teeny, tiny dinosaurs in Patagonia. Poor Avi. The only thing that remotely holds her attention in that one is the picture of dinosaur skin. It is a little more current, but I still need to find some more updated general science reads. Preferably with someone more á la mode than Snoopy (but, please, no Spongebob!)

The Modern Wing

2011-09-14T20:36:00.003-05:00

Although it's been open for quite some time now, I had yet to experience the entire Modern Wing at the Art Institute. When I discovered the first 2 Wednesdays of each month are free to Illinois residents, and that I simultaneously had a free 2nd Wednesday (!), I planned an outing for the girls and their teacher (me!) There was much excitement this morning as we packed Nourit's polka-dotted backpack with, count 'em, 4 drawing pads and two pencil cases stuffed to the gills. They were ready to plagiarize, I mean draw, everything, most especially the 'Bloody Ghost'.

We set off toward the Metra with our umbrellas, backpack, and 2 bags of snacks to be consumed before entering the museum (they won't allow food, even in packed bags, which, incidentally, ended up costing us $22 in other snacks and lunch. So much for the 'free' entry.) We arrived on Michigan Avenue, snickered at the long line by the lions in front of the Art Institute, and walked smugly around the corner to the Modern Wing entrance, where there was not even the hint of a queue.

And we had a wonderful time! Nourit was the tour guide since she'd been there a few more times than I, and we giggled at all the nakedness, ooh'ed at the psychedelic colors, looked sideways at the Picassos, and had fun during the interactive exhibits, like the checker board they could walk on, the groovy gold beads we could walk through (I'm getting some of those for our apartment!), and the candy exhibit, where viewers could eat a piece of wrapped candy from the exhibit. (It was bittersweet, literally. I didn't tell the girls that it was envisioned by a man who died of AIDS, and that eating the candy was symbolically taking a part of this man's body as he lost weight.) Morbidity aside, I was impressed by their unabashed interest in the art.

Unfortunately, we never found the 'Bloody Ghost', although Avi talked about it very loudly throughout the 3 hours we were there. We followed our gallery tour up with a trip to the Education Center, which had a lovely room with a carpeted mountain-y thing that Avi crawled upside down and backward on for quite some time, blocks, puzzles, alphabet foam things, computer games (Nourit's fav), and books galore. Another room featured books and artwork on the alphabet, and another room had hands-on craft making. The best part, though, is that we get to come back - gratuit! Their website offers a yearly educator pass for teachers, including homeschooling parents. It does require documentation, and of course, I didn't have any - Nourit's only in Kindergarten and it's not required in our state for that grade. The woman was kind, though, and took my word for it and issued me the pass. My kids are going to be sooooo art savvy after this year. (Craft savvy is a different thing and a different post. Oh, boy, am I bad at crafts...)

Post Script: Later this afternoon, after Nourit had been outside for 30 minutes while I taught a piano lesson, she learned to ride her bike. In less than an hour combined without training wheels, she's riding in circles and popping wheelies. I love this kid - once she got the pooping thing down, everything else came easy. Stopping her thumb sucking addiction, simple addition, and now bike riding.

Taking Off the Training Wheels

2011-09-13T21:54:00.007-05:00

We finally took Nourit's training wheels off her pink bike today. The same bike we bought her when she successfully stopped sucking her thumb. She's been asking for at least 4 months and my answer was always, "Later, when dad can take them off." If I'd known how easy it was to use a wrench, I would have done it at least 3 months ago. Of course, I chose this morning on our way out the door to someplace else, and while my husband was just getting down to work, to revise our schedule. I guess I was cashing in on our new freedom to finally say, "Yes, let's do it now, because, well, we don't have to wait for the weekend anymore." Surprisingly, my perfectionist 5 1/2 year old, who gets very uncomfortable and makes strange noises when she doesn't do some exactly right*, had fun trying to balance on her new bike. I stayed behind her with my hand on the seat, but she never got frustrated with herself. She hasn't managed to bike without the trainers yet, but at least she's still smiling!

*I've started teaching her piano and we've been sitting down together every day for about a week now. This is one of the hardest things for me to do, but also one of the most rewarding parts of having her home every day. There's sure to be a post soon about how I'm totally messing her up for any type of musical future, but for this week, our lessons end with a hug.

On the Blog Again

2011-09-13T00:02:00.006-05:00

I just can't wait to git on the blog again, goin' places that I ne-e-e-ver been, oh I can't wait to git on the blog again. (Although, I'm not sure anyone is still checking for updates since those have been few and far between!) Regardless, here I am, up at midnight without anything specific to write, armed only with the need to make up for lost time.

Highlights of our year on the northside: Yoga with Gina at Namaskar, Nourit's class and teacher at the Lycée, Ionela (Renela, as Avi endearingly refers to her), the park on our cul-de-sac, passing the basket across the balcony with Natalie next-door, playing with Lida, conqueror of the playground, Fritz croissant every Saturday morning, coffee from Macondo, $8 car cleaning around the corner, a huge kitchen, our mulberry tree, having Matthew and Christine close by (okay, relatively close by in DG!), Monday night dinners with Karen & girls, the Diversey bus to Peggy Notebaert, Wednesday climbing at the zoo, a beautiful drive down LSD (albeit, 6 out of 7 days), Nourit's first lost tooth. Did I mention lovely neighbors?

Lolights of our year on the northside: Holly and the outdated windows that let in all the cold air. Those two things are unrelated. Not enough extra funding from Lycée to afford us to send both girls to school.*

Other interesting, worthwhile, and somewhat amazing events: Disney World for Mom's 70th, weekend in Milwaukee, Michael's dissertation 'Bird Show', Tuscany without kids, turning 37 at the Point, girls' weekend in D.C., and, last but not least, a move back to Hyde Park and to our 4th apartment in as many years. We really like this one and think we'll stay. For a year, at the very least.

*Thus, I will be homeschooling the girls this year in our homey new/old apartment. And that is where my blogging adventure resumes. Goin' places I really never been! Stay tuned...

Babies=McDonalds

2011-04-01T21:23:00.003-05:00

When we were stopped at a gas station off I-94 this past weekend, Nourit spied a McDonalds next door, complete with a brand new Playspace. Now, we secretly love to play the elitist game of pointing to the big yellow 'M' in front of other people and asking "What's that?", then giggling at the shocked looks when our girls sweetly say, "I don't know" or "Old MacDonalds". How could a child not be intimately acquainted with McDonalds?

We have just had enough other choices when it comes to food, and have been able to avoid going there (because we're busy frequenting all the bakeries in Chicago, for instance.) We're pretty conscious about what we eat, and tend not to eat out much at all (but that is mostly because we're poor!) We were thrilled when they opened Panera along the route to Grandma's house because it gave us an alternative to fast fried food. But...I do like me a cheeseburger and fries when I'm prego, so Nourit has been to McDonalds at least once, not that she remembers. Also not sure I told my husband that yet...

Anyway, back to the gas station and the Playspace across the road. Nourit's interest was piqued and she tried to figure out a way to get us to take her and Avi there. "Can we go in and play for 5 minutes?" No, because we'd have to eat there, and we aren't buying food there. "Can't we just pay to go into the play area without eating?" she queried. That's when I dropped the bomb and told her that she had already been to a McDonalds (and perhaps that very same one) when I was pregnant with Avi, because "I usually go at least once when I'm pregnant, because of the cravings."

Then it started. The girls want a sibling.

They started lobbying for a little sister or brother on the car ride home. "You mean to tell us you love each other so much, you want another sibling?" Mike asked. "Yes!!" they both cried simultaneously. Did they not recall the last hour of fighting over toys in the backseat? "And then we can go to Old McDonalds!" piped up Avi. Ahhh...the real reason.

I would like to have a third baby sometime - and not just for the chance to have a cheeseburger, fries and Coke without guilt. Hopefully, though, we can work it out so that I'm like that gorgeous woman in her mid-40's I met last summer with a brand new baby boy and two doting daughters that were old enough to help change diapers. She looked so happy (and rested) that whenever I get anxious that I'm getting too old, I just have to think of her blissed-out visage and I feel I can be little more patient.

Tonight, though, Avi started again, even picking out a name for the baby, definitely a girl. "We can call her by my name!" So we'd have...Nourit, Avi and Avi. Anyone remember the old Newhart show with Larry, Daryll and Daryll? I can see some similarities already. "Or, pooh face!" (that's more like it), "or Lightening the Queen!"

Maybe we'll wait until she at least old enough to help pick a decent name, if not change diapers.

Quotables

2011-03-27T20:32:00.003-05:00

Lately, the girls have been coming out with some funny things (and some doozies.) Here are some of the more recent ones that I can remember.

Sleeping
While discussing the ungodly hour that Avi creeps into our bed every morning
Nourit says: "I like to sleep in."
Avi: "I like to sleep out!"

Foot Washing
In a pre-Easter mood, Nourit decides to wash Avi's feet during their bathtime. Still basking in the afterglow of watching my girls treating each other with such affection, I'm rocking Avi to sleep while Nourit runs by on her way to bed. "Wait!" I say, "I need a hug and a kiss." She runs back to provide those, and Avi holds out her arms to Nourit, who, in turn runs away. Avi scrambles down to follow her, arms still open. Nourit, on the stairs puts a foot in Avi's face and generously says "Kiss it!" Of course, Avi does so happily.

Two's and Tree's
Nourit was practicing her math at the dinner table. "1 and 1 is 2. 2 and 2 is four."
Avi asks in her three-year old voice "What's tree and tree?"
Nourit answers without missing a beat, "Two trees."

Synonyms for Nice
On Monday, after spending some time with Nourit's class at school, Avi was in a magnanimous mood, describing Nourit's classmates. "They are friends and kind and nice and...fratulating!"
Nourit: "Fratulating?? That's not even a word!"
Avi: "Yeah it is. It means 'nice'!"

A Month (and a day) of Birthdays

2011-02-13T12:42:00.011-06:00

From December 26 through January 27 we run the Birthday Marathon. It actually starts the day before, on Christmas, with Jesus' birthday - but we don't bake him a cake. Nourit came into the world 5 years ago on 12/26/05, but on 12/26/11, she wasn't in much of a celebrating mood. She barely got out of bed, and only with the aid of her 15th dose of children's Motrin did she blow out her candles. The upside is, she had cupcakes at school two weeks before, Fritz cupcakes at our house, a cake at Grandma's house and a cake at Nanny & Pappa's. I guess we won't feel tooo sorry for her!

5 Candles

This is how she really felt.

And then, Grandma's 70th birthday happened on the 30th, but this year, we celebrated it for 5 days with Mickey Mouse and all his friends.

Birthday Breakfast with Chef Goofy

Up next comes Mike's birthday on January 12 - right in the middle of a busy week during a busy month during a busy year. We paused long enough to have a birthday lunch and chocolate cake.

38 years ago today, in a small town in the southernmost part of Canada, Mike was born.

Finally, Avi's birthday came and went with various mini-celebrations of her 3 years over the course of the week. This is as close as we'll come to getting her a pet of her own. This horse is currently on his back, a blanket spread across him with a bandage around his foot. Maybe we're cultivating a little veterinarian?

Trot ol' Joe!

Elizabeth and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (or No Good Deed Goes Unpunished)

2011-02-10T21:40:00.004-06:00

It all started a week ago when THE SNOWSTORM blew into Chicago. Fascinating and fun for about a day and a half, and then...no parking. My husband dutifully shoveled out our car (and that of the neighbor downstairs - the one who bangs on our floor and curses at us), and we set out two cute little children's lawn chairs when school and work resumed on Friday. We (and about 2/3rds of our neighbors) continued this reservation system through Sunday, but that's when we got THE NOTE.

"What did you do to make you think you deserve this spot?! Next time, I'm taking it."

Didn't they get that we had shoveled it out, and couldn't they see that we had children? (note: the cute teeny tiny lawn chairs were strategically planned.) It made me so mad that someone wrote those mean words, that those people are Out There, filling our air with their selfish, ugliness, and so I decided to make it my mission to do what I could to help shovel out our street. Reverse the ick, and spread more joy and available parking. So I removed the chairs and tried hard not to spend my entire drive to Nourit's school and back worrying about where I'd park again upon returning home. There was, of course, no parking when I returned home. So, while Avi cried in her carseat for a half hour, I shoveled out a spot and pulled in. More goodwill, more parking!

Yesterday, (when it was in the single digits) I got really ambitious. I gave the girls some spoons and tupperware, told them to play next to the street, and got to work. It took me over an hour, but I pulled down one towering mountain of snow single shoveldly. Avi, however, was miserably cold and so I put her in the car and ignored her cries while valiantly wielding my shovel against that bad person who left the mean note (and all the other people like him. Or her. At this point, I was imagining it was the Woman Downstairs.)

That was where it all went wrong. I got prideful. And, I left the car door ajar all night.

Did I mention Mike just happened to be out of town for 32 hours?

This morning, after my usual "Hurry up-we're gonna be late-you're old enough to put on your own coat" routine, I ushered the girls out to the car. The automatic locks didn't work but it didn't register with me until the car didn't even make a noise. Not even a little chirp. I got the girls back out and stood on the sidewalk looking in all directions for...direction, I guess. The young knight in the white, American-made car drove by slowly and offered to jump the car. Amazingly, I was able to find our jumper cables very neatly stored on our back porch, and soon, the car was running strong. Here's where I made the second mistake. I took the housekeys OFF of the car key (to keep it running) and ran back inside for the backpack. Nourit made it to school, we made it back home, the sitter came, and I was on my way to teach class. Things are good. There are good people in the world. La di da!

Class was 44 degrees when I walked up to our space and the building manager was not in. Appropriately, I led my Music Together class through "I'm freezing, I'm freezing, I hope I don't start sneezing" and after a few rounds of 'Trot, trot to Grandma's House' and 'Pop! Goes the Weasel', we started to shed our coats and scarves, and my good humor returned.

A short hour at home, then out to pick up Nourit and head to Hyde Park for two more classes. I meticulously packed my lessons plans, books, extra shoes, snacks for everyone, brewed myself a steaming cup of Emergen-C, took Avi by the hand and walked out the door. Mistake #3 - I left the house keys inside. I didn't realize this until we made it to Hyde Park to meet Mike and discover HE didn't have his house keys either. But I prided myself (there is that word again - pride!) on my quick thinking. Mike could meet my brother in the West Loop, get our extra set of housekeys from HIM, and then meet us again after class. All would be fine.

And it was - right through classes, dinner at Salonica, and out into the car. Everyone's in their carseats and seatbelts and..."Mike, you put the Club on the steering wheel and that key is on the ring with our house keys. Inside the house." He looked like he would cry. After 16 hours on a train, 5 hours sleep and a sore throat, I don't blame him. So I laughed. And Nourit cried. And we tried calling the only three people we knew in Hyde Park whose numbers were in our phones to see if we could borrow a car for a couple hours. However, (and here's that parking thing again), if we borrowed a car, the probability of finding another parking spot that late at night was nil.

And so we ran. We made it to the Metra just before it pulled away, and between heaving chests, laughed some more. Two trains later we were walking the last mile home with the girls sitting on our shoulders singing the theme song from Veggie Tales. Now they are in bed, and hopefully Mike is on his way back with our car after a quick $50 cab ride back to Hyde Park.

And there won't be a single parking spot available.

My Favorite Things

2011-01-10T20:51:00.002-06:00

One of my favorite things is when both my girls are sleeping peacefully, Nourit in the top bunk, Avi on the bottom, their little noses breathing heavily. They are doing that right at this moment and it took exactly 29 minutes from the time I tucked them under the covers until they were snoring in sync. And what magic happened during those 29 minutes that got them from 60 to 0? Why, my melodious voice, of course. All those years between the ages of 7 and 17 when I would play my records (yes, they were LPs), brush in hand, and would belt out every word to every show tune I knew? I was preparing for this day. Whenever I was alone in the house, I would sit at the piano and accompany myself to all the ballads I knew, from 'Where is Love?' from Oliver! to 'On My Own' from Les Miserables. I still pride myself to knowing every single word to 'The Music Man', including the train song. (Whadya talk, whadya talk, whadya talk...)

That career never got off the ground, high school follies notwithstanding.

Until now!

Since the birth of our kids, we've spent almost every bedtime singing our kids to sleep in two part harmony. I have a strict order:
1) Twinkle, Baa Baa, and ABC's - they are all the same tune, something I didn't figure out until graduate music school
2) Hush Little Baby - I decided early on which version we'd sing, and have stuck to it
3) after the first two, it's a mixture of every other lullaby I know (and being a Music Together teacher, I know many), then Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Loves the Little Children, and I culminate with Kum ba yah (at which point, it's a deep and real pleading for God to come quickly and knock these children out to sleep.)

If God (or the Sandman) hasn't come at that point, I'm desperate. I have no more songs to sing. Nourit is begging for "a song that you've never sung to me before." That's when I pull out my deep, unquenched passion: show tunes! I get to sing old sappy ballads, uninterrupted, to a rapt audience. How great is that? It's an educational time, too, though. In fact, tonight my girls learned what a 'sash' and an edelweiss were. (3 points if you can name that musical!) They absolutely love My Favorite Things. At this point, my repertoire also includes Goodnight, My Someone and 'Till There Was You. In the course of writing this, I've even recalled a few more that I'm anxious to try out on them.

But... it will have to wait until next Monday when Mike is working and I put the girls to bed all by myself again. See, he's not so fond of showtunes. (He won't even let me sing anything from 'Grease' around them. Sheesh!) So, unless it's something from 'Spamalot' (the ONLY musical he even admits to liking), I'll have to keep it solo.

Life on the North Side

2010-10-13T21:56:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure I can succinctly sum up the journey from our home of 6 years on 61st Street to here, our little enclave in South Lakeview, via an intense detour that lasted about 9 months. (And yes, at times that detour was more painful than giving birth.)

So...I won't. I'll just skip ahead to NOW. 4 months into living on the North Side and here is a peek at our comings and goings and attempts at routine.

Every day, Mike puts helmets on the girls, loads them into the Burley, and makes the 15 minute bikeride to drop Nourit at the Lycée, where she attends full-days (except for Wednesday, which is une demi-journée.) I get a *blissful* 25 minutes of alone-time before he comes back with the Av-Monster. I mean, Meister.

Which I need after the flurry of getting everyone out the door, all accomplished to the tune of the girls fighting, Avi running on tippytoes back and forth on our wood floors, and the young, single, childless resident in the garden apartment below us pounding on her ceiling and cursing loud enough for us to hear. GOOD morning, city living!

4 out of 7 mornings, I put my guitar on my back and get on my bike, feeling oh, so cool, because nobody knows just from looking at me that I can only play 3 chords. To the outside world, I'm a bohemian mama, riding my bike and playing my songs. Oh, and I only ride on the side streets. (Not so brave - or crazy - to ride on the main ones.) I lead my families toward a brighter, musical future, and collect hugs from adorable 1 year olds at the end of each class. Then, I head home to my own adorable 2 year old who tells me daily that she's almost 3. Which is true if you think 4 months away is 'almost'.

Our life on the North Side also consists of Michael and I visiting Hyde Park to teach for a combined total of...5 out of 7 days. And we moved - why? Oh, yes! Because we are in walking distance from Nourit's school. Actually, a 45 minute walk - which I make every Tuesday to pick up Nourit from school. It's lovely, actually, and I'm enjoying watching her play with her French classmates at the nearby playground once or twice a week during these amazing summer/October days. Pretty soon, I'll be studying the bus routes, but until then, I'm getting my exercise in.

Speaking of playgrounds, we have one a hop-skip-and-a-walk-along-all-the-raised-flower-beds away, and are finally sorting out the nannies from the grandparents from the parents. The park association throws wonderful events, and we attended the block party in September, and we have even had a few impromptu front porch conversations this month with our new neighbors. Right now, the girls are wondering why we are the only family on the block that hasn't turned their front porch into a spider web.

We have sold or donated as much of our 'stuff' as possible, limited our Fritz Bakery visits to once or twice weekly, and have worked hard to create routine for our girls again. We've instituted home cooked dinners where we sit and function as a family (although, the girls still miss their wild and crazy days in the dininghall. Not me!) We have become more insulated, sure, and haven't enjoyed the myriad playdates that used to happen spontaneously at our last two funhouses. But we are enjoying our family movie nights, and our family pizza nights, and a less frantic pace. We are trying to refocus on what we have to do to get Mike through school and raise our girls to be loving, interested, respectful humans. It's been a hard transition. And things are still changing and will continue to change over the next few years. For now, though, we can walk 2 blocks in any direction and have a drink, drop off our drycleaning, get a pedicure, get a haircut, get a bikini wax, get an oil change, get change for a dollar, work out, climb a wall, listen to an indie band, see a movie, see a play, eat a hot dog, buy a dog, buy our recently purchased dog an organic, vegetarian hot dog, eat some tapas, eat French, Italian, Mexican, or Turkish, buy groceries, or just buy an oriental rug at 80% off.

I Drink Wine Because They Whine

2010-08-16T21:16:00.000-05:00

Really. I do. I have suddenly begun to enjoy cooking because it means I'm in the kitchen at 5 o'clock, and can start to sip a glass of Rosé, or open up a beer, and it's still within the realm of appearing civilized. Breastfeeding be damned. (And damn it, I'm still breastfeeding my 2 1/2 year old and am just too chicken, or tired, or something, to wean her.) I used to think when your child was old enough to ask for it, they were too old to be imbibing. That -and many other notions I had - was B.C.

I love my kids. I think I loved them more before they could talk, though. When I had babies, I felt like I was born to be a mother. A natural mother. Their crying was legitimate and I could always fix it. Now that they are 2 1/2 and 4 1/2, I am naturally and legitimately annoyed 90% of the day. It starts at 5:43 in the morning with thump, thump, thump, thump thump..."Mama, can I sleep with you?" Then the pawing and kicking begins. If I attempt to exit the bed to get some work done on the computer, the alarm goes off. The screaming child alarm. "Don't leeeaaaave meeeee!" Two hours later, when Little Sister deems it appropriate for Big Sister to join the functionally-awake family, it really gets going. Hisses, screams, cries, doors slamming. "You're not being nice to me!" Hissssss. "I'm gonna pinch you and eat you up." Hissssss. "Stop iiiiiiittttttt!" Hissss. And no, we don't have a reptile living with us. Those are the sounds of our beautiful, well-behaved, quiet little girls. The ones I planned to have - B.C.

Don't get me wrong. There are moments of beauty when they are playing side-by-side, immersed in a project at the dining room table or baking mud pies in the sandbox. I have picture-perfect images in my head of Big Sister holding out her hand to a shy Little Sister, inviting her to come into Children's Church with her and Little Sister taking it without a look back at mom and dad. There are sometimes shared giggles...but those are mostly at my expense when they gang up to stick their fingers between my toes.

I know I need to be more patient. After all, we've put them through two moves in one year, and so many other huge transitions. Saying we're having a hard time with it ourselves would be an understatement. Regardless, I just didn't expect a teenager at 4 1/2. Or a banshee at 2 1/2. Mike and I are so calm, so quiet. Shouldn't our kids be, too?

We feed them - really good food, actually. I don't know many other kids under five who eat croissant and crepes for breakfast every weekend, or who enjoy Tuscan-style lunches 5 days a week, and internationally themed, organic dinners each night. So why do they start begging to be fed the moment we clear the breakfast table? They don't stop. Even during meals Avi is reaching across the table for more of what she already has on her plate.

I admit, I am uncertain how to discipline anymore. Spanking, duct tape, and leaving them by the side of the road are out. We've always used 'natural consequences.' But some things don't have one of those. What's a natural consequence to Stink Face? Hitting them on the back so it sticks that way? That'll teach 'em. How do I get Avi to sit still for half a second without squashing her...natural exuberance? And seriously, how does one give natural consequences when you are in the car? There are only so many hours you can promise the "time-out when we get home in three days". After the first 5 minutes they know you can't do a darn thing and they get a sick sense of fun out of making their sibling cry. Then laugh. Then cry again.

So there it is. Maybe I should replace my nightly glass of wine with some yoga and see if that does the trick. If I'm more zen-like, will that make my kids behave? Or maybe I'll just be able to tune out the whining by chanting "OMMMMMMMMMM. Nah, Nah, Nah, I can't heeeeaaar you!!!"

When a 4 year old goes to the office, clothing is optional

2010-02-04T15:27:00.004-06:00

My girls love to get naked. Avi is happiest running through the house in her diaper screaming, "Naked, naked, naked!" Today, Nourit instigated the nakedness and soon both girls were down to their skivvies, Avi in an unbleached 7th Generation dipe and Nourit in some flowered undies, busily setting up an "office." The office consisted of three barstools, two diningroom chairs, and a stepstool. And of course, Nourit's laptop.

Even though Nourit mentioned a few times during the holidays she wanted a computer like Kyla's (a pink, princess-y electronic thing), we demurred. So this week, she took it upon herself to make her own - out of cardboard, and complete with a wireless mouse. She installed games and a word document all by herself. Already, she's way more tech savvy than her mama.

With Nourit at the computer and Avi in the cubicle behind her "eating clothes" according to Nourit, Nourit informed me the office was a hotel for kids to work in. Hmmm....is that legal? Soon, she was ready to go to a meeting, pipsqueak markers in hand. But first she needed me to three-hole punch her construction paper and put it into a binder. That done, she was ready for the meeting.

"Aren't you going to put on clothes for your meeting?" I asked?

"No, they don't really want us to wear clothes to meetings," was her reply.

"Where do you work?" I asked incredulously.

"I work at the university," she answered in all seriousness. "You work there too, don't you?" she continued.

I promise, I have always gone to work with my clothes on.

Sleep and Sunlight

2009-11-08T12:59:00.003-06:00

I woke up this morning after a decent night's sleep to the sun streaming through the windows. It seems like that hasn't happened in months, maybe longer. Both the sun and the sleep. After feeling so good (finally!), and enjoying the morning without a clenched jaw, I believe I need to order extra of both of those things for the remainder of the year. Anyone care to purchase some with me in bulk?

Back Home and Home Again

2009-08-11T22:05:00.025-05:00

I'm afraid the following will be a jumble of disjunct pictures and half-finished thoughts about our two-week retreat to Grandma's, aka, home. Always home. It was partially emotional, partially exhausting, and partially therapeutic, and I'm satisfied having spent much more than a weekend there. We visited some dear, old friends and some dear, old places. I wish I was back on the porch with time to record more than just "we did this" or "we saw them", but that's all I have time for right now. I wish I had taken pictures of every moment and every meeting, but I just wasn't that organized. We're back home now, Chicago home, and embarking on a new adventure as resident heads, and for me, a full-time stay-at-home momship (with a little piano teaching on the side...)

Okay, here goes. Two weeks in a walnut shell.

We arrived Saturday night, July 25th, and took off for mom's beach at South Haven on Sunday. We did the same the following Sunday, but went to the public beach where I used to hang out with my friends while skipping school when the weather was nice.

Half of our little half-pint, Avi.

It was warm enough to swim, and cold enough to wear a sweater. Nourit screamed with delight (or fear, or both) when I took her with me into the huge waves that day.

Back at home, doing a little weeding. We picked wildflowers from the field and made Grandma Queen of the Green.

Her crown is too big for Her Highness, Nourit.

On Monday, Mike and I walked down the road to the Cinzori's farm for some fresh, organic produce that we ate heartily for the next week. (Hey Chicagoans, look in the produce section at Whole Foods next time you are there and you'll find their homegrown veggies!)

This is what we saw along the way, times about 10.

And some beautiful sandhill cranes.

A trip home wouldn't be complete without a trip to the mall. Oh, the memories of 8 hour shopping sprees and modeling on Fashion Panel. And oh, how my priorities have changed!

I think is a true depiction of Nourit's personality. Her shirt aptly says, "Lucky to Be Me!" Oh, yes, she is.

Nourit and I also had a "date" at Full Blast, a new waterpark downtown, and then I took her to Rice's Shoestore nearby where I used to get my feet measured for shoes when I was probably her age. We spent a morning at the Mullen's farm, swimming and visiting with my childhood friend and her sisters and the new generation of kids. Baron is now Ace, and Buckshot is no longer around, but it still felt so familiar. We had a whirlwind visit with Michelle and Izzie (whose picture is too cute for words, but I want to be a little sensitive about posting her picture online since not everyone is comfortable having their life out there for the world to see.) Then, we made the inevitable trip to Binder Park Zoo. We stayed for four hours, our record!

Nourit on the 'Swamp Adventure', where she walked the entire mile, and really thought it was an adventure.

The day and the spot couldn't have been more beautiful.

More nature.

Nourit on the train.

Avital on the carousel. She screamed with delight most of the way around.

We had a good visit with our friends, the Harters, much to Nourit's delight! And on my birthday, we visited the Jones' up in Eaton Crapids (Amy's name for it, not mine. I thought it was beautiful!) for a wonderful visit, complete with dinner and a play involving Laura Ingalls, a dog, and a zebra, and a latent appearance by a fairy princess. Unfortunately, no pictures of that one! I also had time to catch up with my old friend Randy, and am thankful for that after so many years.

Here is the sweet picture.

Here is the scary one.

Hard to see, but there were about 15-20 wild turkeys walking across the backyard. Oh, I wish I had had a gun because they would have gone rather well with the green beans and zucchini we brought home from the Jones' garden.

So two weeks, gone by in a flash, and now we're back home in Chicago. I'm finishing up my work in the Psych Dept this week, and we attended a (very interesting) meeting tonight with members from the Woodlawn community and the University community about development and safety on the Southside. Monday, we move!

Commander Librarian

2009-07-24T21:05:00.004-05:00

Nourit, after getting in trouble too many times today for insubordination, (and finding herself toy-less after I took them away for not cleaning up), decided to play library for the first time. She told me (after stumbling over the word a few times before getting it just right) that she was a librarian. This was a game my sister and I played endlessly, as evidenced by our books containing construction paper envelopes in the front flaps. We haven't played that game with Nourit yet. In fact, we rarely visit the library (for reasons I've posted about before), so I was duly impressed that she came up with this herself.

After putting some post-it tags in a few of her books, she told me again that she had become a librarian, and wasn't it a special thing? It had just - happened! "Like magic?" I asked. "No," she said, like I was stupid. (Oops, I'm not allowed to use that word!) "No," she sighed, "it just happened to happen." And now she's a librarian just like Grandma.

Nourit disappeared for a few moments while I gave Avi her bath. After I told Avi in my sternest voice no, not to dump the water out of the tub, (and after Avi gave me her biggest, award-winning smile), Nourit marched into the bathroom right up to Avi and said, "When mommy tells you to stop, you stop!" Hmmm...where did she learn that? It was quite convincing.

I heart greenheart

2009-07-23T21:58:00.004-05:00

On a furtive gelato run last Sunday to Wicker Park's Cafe Gelato while our 3 year old was at her first drop-off party, we discovered the store greenheart. I'm in love! The store (in its own words)
"is Chicago’s premier eco-fair trade non-profit shop, carrying both fair trade and eco friendly products. Greenheart carries a variety of goods including recycled accessories and handbags, home goods, gourmet treats, cookbooks, glassware, jewelry, toys, personal care, organic cotton t-shirts and more. Greenheart believes consumers have the power to affect positive World change by supporting sustainable and fair business practices in their purchasing choices."

I didn't know all that walking in - what got me right off the bat were the beautiful hand sewn dresses, and the adorable children's clothes and toys, and the beautiful green water pitcher and glasses, and the...

Avi was fussing so I didn't get to try on everything I wanted, but we did walk out of the store with a floor rug made out of recycled something-or-other, that will take the place of the utilitarian plastic dropsheet I was planning to put under the girls' easel to keep the paint off our new carpet. It's completely washable, and very cool.

We made another gelato run tonight, this time with our neighbors. (About 2/3's of the way there - 45 minutes into the trip from Hyde Park to Wicker Park at 3pm on a Thursday - we started to question the rationale of dragging our friends all that way just for gelato.) But it was yummy! We followed it by another trip to greenheart, who was having their grand opening fiesta (amazing food by Zebda, great sangria, warm welcome), and walked out with more treasures.

a little green porcelain piggy bank for Nourit's first lesson in saving $$, (you have to invest money to make money, don't you?)

a new book by the creators of 'Mama, Do you love me?' - one of my favorite books - called 'Papa, do you love me?' Halfway through the book it reads, "Papa, what would you do if I was hot?" "We'd rest under a Greenheart tree."

a beautiful beaded bracelet that I chose for my sister, who doesn't read my blog, so won't know if I end up keeping it for myself

My friend walked out with a fantastic two-toned, woven purse. I could have added about 10 more things to my shopping basket, as well. Unfortunately, all the clothes in my size had disappeared off the racks, so we will have to make the trek back to Wicker Park in a couple weeks to get mama a new dress. And some gelato, too, of course.

To do, or not to do - that is the question

2009-07-17T05:53:00.003-05:00

Last night I realized that today I would have an entire, unscheduled day ahead of me, with no work, no play-dates planned, no outside obligations - rien, nichts, nada. (I'm just double checking my Google calendar to make sure I didn't forget about something...) What a glorious prospect! Then, worry set in. (This is one of my character traits that drives my husband batty - the ability to turn every good and simple thing into a cause for worry.) What do I do with this precious commodity? I don't want to waste it. Do I take the girls and go to one of the myriad venues on my mental list of places to go when I have a full day off work? Suddenly, I can't think of anywhere I want to go alone with two little ones all day. By myself. With no backup. Hmmm...Our next door neighbors and built-in-playmates are all on vacation. Do I set up a playdate with one of the many people that I've been wanting to see, and just haven't had the time until now? (You know, the friend 5 blocks away who had her second baby a year ago, and I've already unwrapped the gift I bought for her to use for my own kid because I still haven't made it over and she's outgrown it?) I love playdates - sometimes for the simple reason that my children are occupied and I get to visit with a friend. At the same time, it means I'm not really spending time with my girls. Or do I stay home - STAY HOME! - and putter, try to make those kale chips I've been thinking about, wander to the garden and pick the remaining peas, hang out with my girls in the backyard - with not even a side-trip to the playground? Ding ding ding ding ding! We have a winner, folks!

The problem with this, though, (and here is where my husband is walking away from me and the conversation), is when I'm home, I see a mess. I see all the things that need to be fixed. Try as I might, I can't seem to ignore what needs to be done in the interest of just hanging out with the girls on the floor for uninterrupted hours of play. Even if I split my time, play a little - clean a little, the little ones seem to undo faster than I do, so it's basically a lost cause. (I'll have to figure this balance out, though, as I will soon be home full-time and responsible for both the cleanliness of our home, and the daily mental and emotional stimulation of our children.) There's something inside of me that feels the need to accomplish something tangible to justify my existence. (Not on a large scale, though, like committing to a career or anything. More along the lines of seeing that the dishes are done, or the floor is vacuumed.)

The other problem with staying home is my fear of missing out. I think that has to do with living in this wonderful city called Chicago, this city that has a crazy amount of fun things to do in the summer. I could visit Millenium Park regularly, drive to Garfield Park Conservatory, or the Chicago Botanic Gardens, or spend the day at any of the beaches along Lake Michigan. There are a half a dozen museums to visit, all within a 15 minute walk or drive. There are music, dance, soccer, art, you-name-it, classes for every age child. There is the lure of shopping downtown (even though the sales tax is insane), and going to Ghiradelli. There are at least two zoos within 20 miles. There are family friendly farmer's markets on any given day. There are so many playgrounds to try, unique neighborhoods to visit, and on and on. It's a far cry from what was available to us out in the small town where I grew up. I'm sure my mom wasn't worrying about whether to go to Binder Park Zoo or the Turkey Farm every day, because that's basically all there was for the entire year. And of course, those places were reserved for special visitors on special occasions. So we stayed home most days, and we weren't missing anything. But here, in Chicago, there's so much choice!

And therein lies my quandry. I'm not good with choices. I want it all. I want balance. I want to stay home with my kids and enjoy a long, drawn-out summer day, with no schedule, no train to catch, no laundry that must be done - with no worry that I'm not do-ing enough.

Not to do. That is the answer.

Collector's Pieces

2009-07-01T16:11:00.007-05:00

Nourit came home after her dance class two weeks ago, ate a few mouthfuls of dinner, and promptly started to draw. She hates to color with crayons, and I've never seen her do anything except scribble on a piece of paper with pen, describing to me all the elaborate things she was drawing that looked nothing like, well, anything. But here she was, drawing a head, eyes, nose and mouth, legs and arms. (Okay, so the arms are where the ears would normally go, but they were still pretty good for starters!) On one or two, she actually drew two sections to each leg, very carefully keeping her lines straight. I had never seen her do this before, and neither had her dad. Maybe one of her babysitters taught her? I don't know, and it surprised me!

This was the first picture - see the burning eyes - very profound.

Since Michael is known to have drawn elaborate pictures of fire engines when he was 3, I was afraid she was inheriting my (lack of) artistic talent, but she may have a future in the artists' studio yet!

Grandparents, grandparents, and more grandparents!

2009-07-01T15:47:00.006-05:00

While Mike was busy in Orkney rubbing elbows with Sir Peter Maxwell Davies and writing music feverishly, (or maybe writing feverish music?), we stayed put and had our own fun. First, Nanny and Papa crossed the bridge into the U.S. to come help me with the girls for a week. We were treated to live folk music in the livingroom and hot meals on the table every night. While I slaved away at work, the girls got to accompany Nanny and Papa to Starbucks every morning for yummy snacks. Unfortunately, we sent Papa home with pneumonia, which landed him in the hospital for an evening, and bed for a few more.

Two full, wonderful days alone with my girls (all play, no work!), and I was ready for Grandma to visit. She arrived armed with new dvd's and orange cake, and then took the girls to the park, to the museum, and out for walks so I could nap. On the hottest day, she convinced me to go buy a sprinkler, which was a hit in the backyard. All the neighbors came out to play when they heard Nourit and Avi shrieking in the water, which led to the inflation of the Bennett's HUGE pool, and another hour of fun for 7 kids in the backyard. Going back inside, I found Grandma just finishing a two-hour cleaning frenzy. God bless Grandparents!

We waved goodbye to grandma, and a few hours later met Mike at the airport. Nourit wanted to wear her special flowered dress, cupcake shoes, and butterfly ring to meet him. I think she has a crush on her daddy! (About those cupcake shoes...I was horrified when she latched onto them at Target, and I tried to talk her out of them. Now, I can see how special she feels when she wears them. They're not so horrible to me anymore...) The next morning, we piled into the car and drove to Kentucky for the first time to see Grandpa. We received a warm welcome, and had fun touring the area, splashing in the pool Grandpa bought just for the girls, and playing ball with the neighbor and his dog. Nourit asked if we could stay for five more weeks, and was sad to leave. It's good to have Grandparents!

Nourit's Second Dance Class

2009-06-09T12:52:00.004-05:00

Normal parents keep track of children's 'firsts'. I'm too late for that. Here is a picture of Nourit before her second dance class, at the Hyde Park School of Dance. After trying two other dance classes that were a little too old for her, or had too little music, I think we finally found the right fit. The first day was almost our last, though. After waking Nourit from a nap to go, she screamed and cried, unwilling to go happily. But when we arrived, the excitement of her friend Zara rubbed off on her cute little leotarded and slippered self, and she was soon moving around the rehearsal hall with the teacher and about 15 other pink-clad preschoolers, to music played by a flesh and blood pianist.

I haven't seen anything as cute as that first day of creative movement class, with little girls all very seriously pretending to be animals and flowers and ballerinas. Unfortunately (or fortunately for the teacher!), the parents are now banned to the adjoining room, while the little 3 and 4 year olds leap and twirl autonomously for 30 minutes a week.

When asked what she did during her second class, Nourit replied dismissively, "Oh, I don't remember."

Us: "Did you dance like animals?"
Her: "No."
Us: "Did you spin and jump and twirl?"
Her: "No."
Us: "Was the teacher nice, and was everyone having fun?"
Her: "No."
Us: "Was the teacher horribly mean?"
Her: "Yes!" (with a grin.)
Us: "Were the kids all crying and everyone wanted to go home?"
Her: "Yes!" (more grinning.)
Us: "Did the piano player push over the piano, and did everyone stomp around?"
Her: "Yes!"

And so, I think it was a success, and that she will return willingly for the next few weeks. However, and yet again, I am just not ready for this little independent streak showing up before she is an actual teenager. She's not ready for a secret life, yet! (Or, at least I'm not ready...)

~~~~
Post Script - Week Three
Now weeks one, two AND three have successfully passed, and I told Nourit that next Tuesday would be her last dance class. "UNLESS, you want me to sign you up for next session," I said hopefully. "No," she said. "I'd rather stay home."

Well, I guess that means home is a nice place to be, right? Let's hope she still says that when she's 16!

Timing is Everything

2009-06-05T14:18:00.008-05:00

Why do we continually get nervous about our lives and our futures? We keep experiencing God's provision for us, and yet there is still a feeling of uncertainty whenever things are about to change. I sort of think that's because God waits until the last possible moment to let us know how the next chapter in our life will begin. Time and again, we've waited for the answer, it doesn't come in time for me to be comfortable, but we step out in faith and voila, He answers and the stars align. (Figuratively, of course!)

His timing, though, is right on, not only for our life, but for everyone who intersects with us, it seems. Just when we needed a good babysitter (or two!), Jessica came into our lives, needing job. When our lives got crazy, her schedule lightened up, and she was there to help us the many last-minute times we needed an extra 'parent' this year. Now, she is leaving (sniff), graduating from college and heading out into an exciting new career. Amy (our other wonderful sitter) is leaving this week, too. What are we going to do for daycare? NOTHING! Because, in God's unique timing, we were hired as Resident Heads, and I will be able to stay home with the girls full-time. What about my job? It's coming to a natural end, with funding running out since the grant I manage was not renewed. Things are falling into place.

Another intersection, even though it seems small, just concluded seamlessly. We desperately needed help cleaning in the middle of the year, and one young woman needed to work while waiting for a real job in the architecture world. Just as we are getting to the point we can manage it on our own, she gets two job offers. Noone loses, everyone wins! (But this means I will be cleaning the toilet again. Okay, I guess I lose a little bit...)

So, slowly, or quickly, or however you want to look at it, we are checking some of the 'unknowns' off our list, moving them into the 'known' category.

My Shitty Monday Evening

2009-06-02T08:12:00.002-05:00

I try not to swear too often, and usually reserve the 'S' word for stubbing my toe, or particularly bad news. But here I mean it in the literal sense - we had a very shitty evening last night.

I need to preface this by saying we have had a long, arduous journey getting our now 3 year old to poop regularly. As early as 6 months, she would wait 3 weeks to poop, but the doctor said she was fine. After a couple years, a lot of tears, and a few posts about it, we're finally at the point where she goes semi-regularly, sans suppository. We're not neglectful parents. We feed her so much fiber, and so little animal, that I cannot understand why it's turned out this way. She starts the day with ground-up flaxseed in her yogurt, we force her to chug prune juice, and we are a die-hard dried fruit eating family. It doesn't add up.

Anyway, last night around dinner time (of black beans and sweet potato, no less), I noticed she was acting funny, doing her little dance, and saying her tummy hurt. No amount of cajoling would get her to sit on the potty. That's when I had to put her there by force. Meanwhile, Avi (who has nooooo problem pooping 2-3 times a day), is stuck in her highchair, screaming like a banshee, and emptying the contents of her bowl on her head. Screams are coming from Nourit as I force a suppository up her bum (oh, the joys of motherhood), and from Avi as I'm neglecting her. Finally, Nourit poops, we flush and wash, and she assumes the couch potato position while I put in an opera for her to watch. (Yes, we bribe our kids with opera dvds.)

Back to Avi, to wash off all the bean crud from her hands and head, then back to Nourit who is still looking like she's in pain (and it's not from the Queen of the Night's high notes.) Back to the potty, tears streaming down her little 3 year old face (and nearly on mine.) Another HUGE poop, which, incidentally, is too big to flush down and comes back up. I flush a second time.

At this point, I decide to dunk these children in a warm, calming bubble bath, which seems to do the trick. Halfway through, Avi looks like she could do her duty, so I carry her, dripping, over to Nourit's potty seat. We are definitely not potty training her at this age, but I know she has fun when she gets to walk in Nourit's shoes (or sit in Nourit's potty seat!) She makes some fake grunting noises and faces, then motions back to the tub, so back she goes. Then, Nourit is ready to come out first, so I get her into pajamas and brush her teeth while Avi continues to splash and make little tooting noises. But wait, those aren't toots. SHE POOPED IN THE BATHTUB! My freshly scrubbed bathtub! (The cleaning lady had left only hours before.) Yuck! Not only that, the tub is having trouble draining, and the plumber hadn't come to fix it yet. Double yuck!

Somehow, I get both children, clean and warm, into bed and to sleep. I wash the tub as best I can, and dump half a bottle of rubbing alcohol in the bottom. Mike comes home from his meeting, we quickly swap stories, and I sit down to work on my lesson plan for Music Together. I say to Mike that our house still smells faintly of poop, thinking it's just a holdover from the evening's activities. I go in Nourit's room to kiss her goodnight, and realize she pooped in her pajamas while she slept. We drag her out of bed to clean her up, and as I flush that final nugget down the toilet, it overflows. Right onto the freshly mopped floor.

Epilogue: I put a huge load of towels and poopy underpants in the washer with double detergent, and re-mop the bathroom floor. Finally, my pajamas are on, my contacts are out, and my teeth are brushed (but I can't use the toilet because Mike hasn't plunged it yet.) I stumble out of the bathroom to make that request, only to stub my toe on the toy car that's in the middle of the hallway. "Wheeeee, let's go for a ride!" a warped woman's voice screeches as I dive for the Off button. Shit!

In the Company of Wise and Wonderful Women

2009-05-31T20:36:00.003-05:00

As I drove up the highway today, Lake Michigan on my right, and the city straight in front of me, I smiled to myself and thought, " How nice to receive an invitation to a party!" I think there is still this wonder of being included that has hung over from my high school days, when I would feel so special to be invited out with the "cool girls" from time to time. Anyway, I left the party today so grateful for this fortuitous chance to meet and mingle with such talented and thoughtful women. All of them are moms. All of them write about their experiences borne out of motherhood. And yet, they are so much more than that. Just listening to the readings today, ones that made my heart ache and my mouth laugh simultaneously, I really felt that I was in the company of women with such depth and creativity. From a comparison of the first day of high school to a Seraut painting, to the description of a moon that sipped on the sun and overflowed into startlight, to the minivan as staging area for an induction into crone-hood, I am inspired by these writers to dig deeper into myself, to nurture my creative spirit as I nurture my own children.

I love parties, but I always feel a little "buzzy" when I leave, (and that has nothing to do with the mimosas!) It seems to me a little like speed dating (although I think I was married long before that became popular.) There are all these people that I want to meet, want to talk to, hear their stories, and connect with, all within a 2-3 hour span. It's amazing how you can really come to care about another person, just from reading their prose over a year, whether you have met them once, twice, or not at all. We need to have a mommy blogger camp. One week of writing and conversation, out in the wilderness somewhere. (And definitely invite Virginia along. What a fantastic massage!)

In addition to the conversation blitzes, there is also food. Yummy food. And I am not one who is afraid to eat at a party. (I once worked for a very elegant woman who refused to eat at our donor parties. She was afraid of getting spinach stuck in her teeth, I guess.) I wanted to try everything - the cheese, crackers and nuts from Pastoral, the jam from the Jane Addams Hull House, and of course, the cheesecake from Eli's. The problem is, I really couldn't focus on my food as much as my foodie husband would have liked. I heard him whispering in my conscience, "Think about the food while you are tasting it. What flavors are present?" I just know the cheese was delicious, and that I need to make an exclusive trip to Pastoral and the Hull House to try more of what they offer. That is on my summer list of to-do's. Now, back to the party-goers.

The craziest part of the day? Walking in and meeting a woman I went to high-school with, 17 some years ago. I have horrible face-memory. (Recently, Mike and I went to a movie with Gwyneth Paltrow and some other guy. I leaned over to Mike and whispered, too loudly, "Who is that guy??" I got a glare and a quiet answer, "That's Joaquin Phoenix, Liz.") Of course! It felt the same as I was introduced to Melanie, and I smiled, no idea that she already knew who I was. But as soon as Melanie started talking, the years dropped away and I recognized the girl I had spent 3 years of high school with. Now, I can't wait to get to know her as an adult. Crazy, small world!

****
Driving home, I realized how strange it felt to be out without my girls. They are such a part of me, and are usually with me, almost like two extra appendages. It was good to get away, to celebrate woman-hood and not just mommy-hood. But it also felt wonderful walking in the door to a chorus of "Mama! Did you miss us?"

Nourit's First Haircut

2009-05-18T15:20:00.003-05:00

I finally decided to end the battle for barrettes and have Nourit's hair cut. Just a little bit. In the front.

Before, sitting in the barber's chair (aka, Amber's kitchen stool.)

After, with the same expression. That didn't go away with the chopped locks.

I Love Hyde Park (and Paris) in the Springtime

2009-05-18T13:39:00.003-05:00

There is an abundance of things to do in Hyde Park once Spring arrives. This weekend seemed like the unofficial beginning of Spring here. Not only did the sun come out after the deluge we received on Friday, but all the green events seemed to take place as well. We attended the Hyde Park Plant Sale for the first time in 6 years of living here, welcomed the opening of the 61st Street Market, chatted with our gardening neighbors at our community garden party, and grabbed a cup of tea at Backstory in the middle of it all.

The thing I love most is running into friends and neighbors at these events. While milling around the market, we ran into our neighbors and one of Nourit's best little friends. We then made an impromptu trip with them to campus to attend a carnival - stuffing ourselves with free hotdogs, ice-cream, pretzels and cotton candy, before letting the children loose in the jumping castle. (Note: this is immediately after reveling in the organic-y, local goodness of Backstory and the farmer's market!) Later, we all hung out with a bunch of neighbors and friends in the backyard and grilled together - a perfect ending to a perfect weekend day.

In spite of the random shootings, I really do love 61st Street!

I'm Sorry, I'm Repeating Myself

2009-04-26T17:41:00.003-05:00

I'm realizing that as a mom, I seem to repeat myself an awful lot. Even to the point of hearing myself telling the same old sorry story to the same friends, day in, day out. Lately, it's the Nourit vs. the Nap story (Once upon a time, Nourit didn't take a nap in the afternoon. She was horrible, but went to bed on time. Once upon the next time, Nourit took a long nap in the afternoon, and didn't go to sleep that night until midnight, at which point she promptly turned into a pumpkin and we made her into soup the next day.) Last fall it was the Avi vs. Sleeping More Than Two Hours story. The same goes for our life. We have so many changes on the horizon, and yet, as of today, nothing's changed. So I give the same answers, make the same conjectures, and feel as if I am a broken record.

I just can't stop, though. I hear myself talking and think, "Eek! They've heard this before! You're boring!" But in the interest of conversation, connection, whatever, I continue. So if you are wondering why my blogging has seemed to slow down a bit, it's because there is nothing new to say lately. Just re-read the past few months, and it'll be like having an actual conversation with me these days...

Easter Candy Idolatry

2009-04-13T12:34:00.005-05:00

In church, we talk about idols a lot. Money and self are two biggies. But candy? I'm pretty sure there aren't any temples dedicated to the Sugar God that archeologists are digging up. For 3-year old Nourit, though, her Sugar Temple is iced with butter cream, and coated with sprinkles. It boasts candy-coated chocolate eggs, and bright little chewy bunnies. The path leading up to the shrine is lined with chocolate chips and M&M's. Daily offerings of cake and ice-cream make their appearance on the shrine. Her first word of each day is 'candy', and the last words of each day are, "Tomorrow, after breakfast, can I have...."

When did we go wrong? This child, who barely had any sugar or salt before she was 2 is, at 3, a sugar fiend. Is it all the result of poop incentives? Or is it something more insidious, like idolatry?

I know it sounds laughable. A 3 year old, with idols? She is beginning to know right from wrong, though, and perhaps with that cognizance comes the ability to erect idols in place of the authority of God. If you sat in on her prayers, you'd hear copious amounts of gratitude for the candy in her life. She tries to wheel and deal. "If I poop three times, can I have 3 M&M's?" She needs to have it close. "I'm just going to sit next to the candy in my basket for awhile." She tries out a variety of scenarios. "After breakfast, I'll eat the chocolate egg, and then after lunch I'll eat the chewy bunny." Then 3 minutes later, "After breakfast, I'll eat the chewy bunny and Daddy can eat the chocolate egg, then after lunch I'll eat the rest of the chocolate eggs and Daddy can have a chewy bunny." Good thing she doesn't know how to count quite yet. She'd have noticed that about 2/3rds of her Easter candy disappeared mysteriously during naptime yesterday.

Of course, we're the parents. We can determine what she eats and what she doesn't, and normally, we're pretty balanced. Since Christmas, though, there has been a string of birthday parties, dinners out, holidays (Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day and now, Easter), and generous neighbors, all bringing irresistable treats with them. (And since mama has a huge sweet tooth, it's hard to tell the offspring that she can't have a crumb from the piece of cake I'm shoving into my mouth as fast as possible.) I know how good it feels to eat something sweet. I also know how rotten someone can turn when they don't have their "fix." So, time to crack down (no pun intended) and stop this sugar train in it's tracks.

On Dying and Dyeing

2009-04-04T21:26:00.006-05:00

With Easter just around the corner, the topics of death and resurrection have peppered our conversations with Nourit more and more. She seems to be at an age to talk about death and killing, both because certain storybooks talk about it (Frog & Toad, for example, has a line that reads, "Help! My best friend in trying to kill me!" as Frog puts Toad into his winter clothing against his will. That happens to be one of Nourit's favorite phrases this week...), and because she picks things up from older kids who might be play-killing. Not to mention the fact that to really explain Easter, you have to talk about death, (which is probably why the Easter Bunny was invented. It's much easier to talk about Easter in terms of a fluffy creature in Spring bringing candy while you are sleeping, than to discuss sin, killing and death with a 3 year old.) The wonderful thing about believing the way we do, though, is that we have the hope that when we die, we will come back to life again - to a much better one, at that.

I'm still not certain what she really grasps, though. For instance, she and her friend were playing with Dodo - taking turns "die-ing" Dodo, to be exact. (I didn't correct her verb usage - I really would prefer the word "killing" to stay out of her regular vocabulary for just a little longer.) And just last week at the Art Institute, we were looking at a Munch painting, 'Gologotha', where the artist portrays himself as Christ on the cross. Obviously, I skipped the symbolism and went straight for the explanation of Christ being put on a cross to die for our sins, and then left that very quickly to remind her of the resurrection at the tomb three days later. I believe that was the first time she saw the image so starkly (even though it wasn't a realistic portrayal.) Her children's Bible just has a blurry picture of 3 crosses off on a distant hill. Even so, I'm basically avoiding talking about the actual intent to kill. When is a child ready to learn about that??

On a lighter Easter note, I've been intent on naturally dyeing eggs this year. Last year, Nourit and I joined our good friend Danielle at her place of employment, the Green Grocer, where they held a natural egg dyeing workshop - just for us! It took a little time for me to get used to the muted colors, but now I'll never go back to Paas again. Nature is just that much more beautiful!

The eggs we decorated last year at the workshop.

So with a week or so before the Bunny arrives, I've started experimenting with my own dyes. Here are the results of my fun science project, conducted over the past coupld of days:

The colors that were the most vibrant were the Turmeric (the bright yellow eggs), and the beet juice (the dark pink eggs.) The blueberry made a beautiful grey over the one brown egg I used, and the carrot made a light, mottled orange. The wine (leftover Sangre de Toro, to be precise) came out a light grey-purple, and the light, light peach are from red onion leave. I was trying to get a lovely green, but they didn't perform for me this year, and so, peach. I used the wine and the beet juice cold, but the rest I boiled with the eggs (and added vinegar to each.) The finishing touches include some beautiful little tree berries we found on our walk today, some rubber bands and/or wax applied before dipping, some ribbon, and of course, the Bull.

Pseudo Spring Break, Chicago Style

2009-03-26T20:37:00.015-05:00

We wanted to take a real break for once and leave town, but that just seemed like too much work, so we have been taking a few days this week to do some fun things we normally don't fit in during the schoolyear. Monday, we welcomed Spring by heading up to Gethsemane Garden Center to buy some seeds to start our garden, about 3 months ahead of last year! We bought flowers, snap peas, kale and spinach, to begin with. We headed home, picked up the rake and shovel, and headed to our little plot in the community garden. Mike and I broke up the soil, while Nourit picked up as many worms as possible with her bare hands. Perhaps we have a future biologist on our hands?

I went to the office Tuesday and Wednesday, but we still worked in a trip to Bixler Playlot, a trip to Huckleberry Playlot, a trip to the Museum of Science and Industry, followed by gelato (thanks, Melissa!), and some almost-nude body painting (the girls, not Mike and me.)

We also fit in our first trip together to our local library. I'm a little sheepish that it's taken me so long to borrow children's books from the library that's only 3 blocks away, but it's more complicated than it sounds. First of all, I tried to check out books a year ago from Blackstone, but left the library empty-handed. (Well, not actually empty-handed. I had an infant and a 2 year old, which are very hard to handle at the same time.) See, I didn't have the cash to pay my 60 cent overdue fine so I wasn't allowed to take out all the children's books I had carefully chosen. And Blackstone is a drive away (read, buckling-two- children-into-their-carseats-twice drive away), so it's not my first choice of things to do. Since then, I've been buying all their books, which isn't so sustainable.

We have a library 3 blocks away (Bessie Coleman), but those are the same three blocks that contain some of the worst housing projects in Chicago, have broken glass on the sidewalks, often have people smoking pot, crack, what have you, in little groups as we walk by, and frequently have random shootings. This is the same reason why we don't take the Green Line as often as we might. Two of my neighbors regularly walk that way so I finally decided to. It's not that I'm scared - I just don't want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. That, and Mike doesn't want me to go. I'm not sure whether it's a good idea or not, but it was so nice getting out some new books and a free museum pass, and being home within 10 minutes. It's my neighborhood, but not the side that makes me most comfortable.

Today, we played tourists at Navy Pier, and let the girls run around at the Chicago Children's Museum for a couple hours. Talk about ADD land! Nourit barely stayed on one exhibit/task for longer than 30 seconds. They had fun, though, and I love that there are so many hands-on activities for them there. If only it were under Grant Park...

We had some lunch, and got on the Ferris Wheel, where, to my utter amazement, I quietly freaked out and had to stop myself from imagining the worst for the 7 minutes we were up in the air. I did nurse Avi the entire time, so add that to my list of interesting places to breastfeed.

Coffee at Fox & Obel, a brisk walk down Michigan Avenue, and we got in our car and drove home. Tomorrow, we are off to the Art Museum, and Saturday, a dance workshop with the Hubbard Street dancers. Ah, we're doing our best to take advantage of this great city!

Questions and Answers

2009-03-18T16:35:00.002-05:00

We have many things up in the air right now, but slowly the answers are trickling in. We still have a long way to go, though, until everything is answered and we know what our summer and fall will look like.

1st Question: Will Nourit be accepted into the Lycee?

Answer: We just found out "oui", but an answer to the next question will reveal the reality of her attending in the fall.

2nd Question: What kind of financial help will we be eligible for from the Lycee?

Answer: TBD

3rd Question: Now that the grant I manage is almost finished, what becomes of my flexible, part-time, benefits eligible job?

Answer: TBD. Hopefully this afternoon after my boss has a meeting with the Division.

4th Question: Will Mike and I be chosen as RH's for next year?

Answer: TBD. We made it through Round 1 and 2 interviews, and will find out next week if we'll continue. It's a longshot, so we'll see...

5th Question: What will we have for dinner tonight?

Answer: That's easy. Leftovers, of course.

There are other questions hovering, too, and depending on the outcome of #'s 3 & 4, I'm sure that other questions will immediately rise. Stay tuned for the answers!

What Have We Been Up To?

2009-03-13T17:07:00.018-05:00

When I began keeping this blog last summer, I think I was keeping track of our daily, or at least weekly, activities. Now the weeks go by and I keep putting things in a mental list to blog about at some point in the future. The list is getting rather long! Here are some highlights of the last month...(warning: it's overloaded with pictures and video.)

February 20 (?): Finally celebrated Avi's 1st birthday almost a month late. We corralled the usual suspects (our wonderful neighbors!) and enticed them downstairs and across the backyard with the promise of one of Mike's yummy cakes. Avi certainly liked her first slice of real cake - I turned around for a minute and she had devoured it!

Scarlett, who is too cute for words (so here's a picture!)

Avi's first birthday cake - loaded with fruit and almonds.

Three little girls in their usual places, enjoying cake before running back to play.

Champagne and sippy cups - what a wonderful life!

And finally, the Birthday (plus a month) Girl

February 24-March 1: We took a trip across the border to attend the Windsor New Music Festival where Mike's piece, A Presence Close as Br eat h, was featured. (He dedicated it to me, by the way!) We also had a nice time visiting Nanny and Papa, and were thrilled that Muffy drove down with Sammy and Joey for a day. Nourit loves her cousins! (And so do we, of course.)

*Notice Pink Poodle

We spent some time visiting our old favorite places in Windsor (Wah Court and the pizza place that was down the street from our apartment.) We took Nourit ice-skating (or should I say, ice dancing!) near the court house, and ate at Tim Horton's one too many times.

Nourit petting the goats at Colosanti's (*notice Pink Poodle)

Nourit on her first amusement park ride at Colosanti's. (They have everything there...)

First, Nourit wouldn't allow me to let go of her hands.

Enter new 4 year old friend, and she's hands-free, dancing like she was born in the '80's.

On our way back home, we stopped in Detroit's Greek Town, ate at a diner that still allows smoking (!) and doesn't have fresh fruit on the menu (again, !), and picked up some yummy things at our old favorite bakery, Astoria Pastry Shop. Then, in Battle Creek, we stopped to see my mom at the library for a quick hour while the girls got to play and get some energy out. Willard Library really is the best library, hands down.

Since we've been back, the pace hasn't let up too much, but Spring is definitely in the air. We've been playing with our neighbors, going to Thursday Bible Study, and going to Music Together. (Today was the last day until the new session starts. We really have a great class, and love Irene.)

People also tend to look a little crazy in MT pictures... (*notice Pink Poodle)

Oh, and last Sunday we started something that we hope will become a regular thing with us - Jazz Showcase Sunday Matinee. Our friends Lisa and Claire met us for the 4pm show (Bobby Watson and friends,) and we had a great time listening to music and watching the girls dance. We felt so welcomed there, and love the new space (in the Printer's Row Dearborn Station.) Ooh, I just noticed the Benny Green Trio is coming. Maybe I can convince Mike to go back to see him. If my sister is reading (which is doubtful), do you remember seeing him at the Blue Note ages ago, and the crazy lady in the white pantsuit sitting at our table??

Next on the roster, some birthday parties (these kids just keep getting older!), museum visits, and hopefully, very soon, a trek to the garden to plant some hearty greens!

This last picture just seems to capture the essence of a day in our tiny part of the universe (*notice Pink Poodle)

*Notice Pink Poodle is now Nourit's constant dance partner, confidante, friend, and yes, sadly, sometimes whipping post. Dodo was LEFT BEHIND on Nourit's command for our trip to Canada - yesterday's breakfast, I suppose. I guess the loss of Dodo's second eye was the clincher. She loved him/her through the loss of one eye, repeated neck surgery, and the complete matting of his/her purple hair. But once he/she lost his/her remaining eye, she said "Sayonara, Dodo. You can stay home while I go out with my fancy Pink Poodle."

Avi the Menace

2009-03-09T20:06:00.003-05:00

The last few days with Avi have been unbelievable. Even as I write this, she is getting angry at a shoe box for not allowing her to balance on top of it. Everything that is remotely climb-able, she has scaled. She has a fat lip from a fall off a stepstool yesterday, and if we take her off of one thing, she runs as fast as she can to the next thing to get as high as she can before one of us pulls her off. And did I mention, she's angry?? Must be that 11th tooth that I found in her mouth today.

I'm Sad Because...

2009-03-04T14:15:00.001-06:00

As we were getting ready to leave Kyla's house after a short playdate this morning, Nourit's eyes filled with tears and she said to me, "I'm sad because I want to go to Abigail's and play with the girls some more." Kyla was going to spend some time at Abigail's while her mom took Baby Cole to the doctor, and although Nourit was invited, I needed to spend some time at home before going to work and told her we couldn't go this time. For a minute I wanted to give in and just spend the next couple of hours playing with our friends, partially because it sounded way more fun than unpacking the suitcase, and partially because I didn't want Nourit to be sad. But, she accepted it, we went home, and she spent a quiet time playing around the house for the next two hours while I put things in order.

It's so nice to hear her articulate her emotions these days. Sometimes, the reason for the tears doesn't quite make sense, but in this case, it was perfectly normal and understandable. She expressed it in a healthy way and moved on. If only I could articulate my sadness so well.

Today, however, I'm happy because I started to play the piano again. From 7:30am-9:30am, I bashed through Mozart and Brahms, just letting my fingers move and letting my brain try to figure out what to work on in the coming months. The plan is to start to work a little bit every few days, getting back in shape, and working toward a small recital or having some pieces ready to audition for potential piano gigs. The hard part is peeling a sobbing Nourit off my lap as I'm abandoning her for a couple hours of music. I remember that feeling all too well - mom going to work when I felt I needed her most. (That was purely my feeling - she was actually continually present when I was growing up, except for her p/t work at the library, and a year of full-time work once I was in school.) Am I selfish for stealing hours away from time with my girls to do this? Maybe. Will it be a good thing for them to see their mom working toward a goal, and doing something that fulfills her? I think so.

Avi and the Pitchpipe

2009-02-21T09:33:00.005-06:00

Not to be outdone, Avi decides to follow her big sister in a music career. Pitchpipe is her instrument of choice.

Poetry and Song with Nourit

2009-02-17T10:40:00.008-06:00

When Nourit sings, she doesn't sing the songs we know, but makes up her own. She's been known to give a long concert, setting up her stepstool like a podium, and putting a Mozart Rondo for Piano on the music stand in front of her, then pouring her heart out in another language, with hints of a nasal 'n' which tells us she's singing in Nourit-French. It's melismatic, mixed-metered, prosaic, and sometimes interrupted by screams and a dive off the podium to snatch a toy out of her baby sister's hands. Despite this, it's wonderful to hear her interpretation of all the musical influences she's had in her short life.

(To get the full effect, watch all 9+ minutes of the video below. To get to the part where the diva dives off the stage, accosts the baby, then resumes singing like nothing ever happened, start about two-thirds of the way through.)

Rounding this out, she's got a great sense for rhythm and rhyme. From an early age, I noticed her grasp on musical or poetic phrasing. She will make up songs or poetry with words that aren't necessarily found in any language we know, but they definitely rhyme at the end of each phrase. She's translated this skill to book-reading, too. Often, in her well-loved books, we'll begin the sentence on each page and let her finish. Here's what happened when she mixed it up a little:

Excerpted from 'Goodnight Moon'

In the Great Green Room, there was a red "vaboon" and a picture of the "plow" jumping over the "boon." Etc, etc. You get the idea of the game she's playing.

Then we get to the part about the quiet old lady who, instead of whispering "hush" was whispering "puss." Okay, a little gross. But this old lady has some more bad habits. By the end of the story, Nourit had her whispering "cuss." At least she swears quietly.

And Two Molars Make 8 & 9

2009-02-17T10:38:00.001-06:00

Wow, I've never seen so many teeth explode in one little mouth in such a short amount of time. Avi has a top and bottom molar coming in - poor baby - but still finds a way to smile!

5,6,7!

2009-02-09T20:49:00.003-06:00

You can't see them in the picture, but Avi now has 3 more teeth! Top and bottom right, and bottom left. She'll be all set for corn-on-the-cob by June!

Creative Juices

2009-02-09T20:34:00.005-06:00

I'm always amazed at how focused and creative kids can be at such a young age. Nourit continually surprises me with a new and amazingly symmetrical ways of constructing with her blocks or Krinkles, and lately spends time creating elaborate meals out of wooden food, toys, and items from mommy's drawers. Here are some pictures of our budding architect/food designer.

There is kind of a sad ending, though. According to my source on parenting, Love and Logic, if a kid doesn't help put away the toys, you're supposed to take that particular toy away for awhile. Somehow, this seems to backfire on me. Today I asked Nourit to help clean up the playdough. She said no, so I very calmly said it was going in the garbage. She was fine with that. (It made me a little sad, but on the up-side, I don't have to worry about Avi ingesting too much more for awhile!) However, when it came time to put away her wooden kitchen and the 12,000 items of food that go with it, she said, "I don't ever want to play with it again," just so she could get out of cleaning up. With all the love and logic I could muster, I took her hand and brought her over to the mini-kitchen, gave her the food boxes, and said, "Start packing."

Kindness and Syndication

2009-02-04T15:38:00.004-06:00

So, I took a little break and googled my name today, and surprise, surprise, my last post on the Chicago Mom's Blog was picked for syndication! ( My very first post was, as well, and I realized today that I probably should have printed each instance out because they aren't all available online anymore.) I'm not exactly sure what it means to be 'syndicated' other than a chosen few periodicals online are reprinting my post, along with my personal blog site. So perhaps it will bring people to my site, where they will either stay and peruse, or leave and go back home. It's flattering, too, both to be chosen, and to see my name 'in lights' for half a second. Other than that, I'm not sure what else to expect out of it.

So what does kindness have to do with this? It was the inspiration for my post. Relying on the Kindness of Friends talks about my utter need and enormous appreciation for my friends and neighbors. So if you are one of my friends and neighbors, I hope you know I couldn't live this life without you!

Driving up Lake Michigan - Twice

2009-02-01T22:20:00.003-06:00

I really stay sequestered in Hyde Park most of the time, but when I get in the car and drive up Lakeshore Drive, I'm always struck by how beautiful the lake is with the Chicago skyline straight ahead. I forget how fun it is to head north, and but on the flip side, dealing with traffic is probably the reason I leave our little neighborhood so rarely by car. Saturday, I took the trip twice - once with family, once without.

We took Nourit for an observation/playdate at the Lycee early in the morning. It seems like there are so many people applying for preschool. I never imagined having my 3 year old 'interviewed' for a spot at school. I figured that would at least wait until college. The teachers seem wonderful, though, and we're still hoping it will somehow, someway, be possible for her to attend in the fall. Following the observation, we headed up to Argyle to La Patisserie P for THE best croissants in Chicago. We had met the chef/owner, Peter, at a breadbake a year ago at the Experimental Station, and yesterday was the third time we'd been back to his bakery for his award winning pastry.

After dropping the girls back at home with Jessica, and dropping Mike at Istria to write, I headed north again to do some "quick" shopping in Lincoln Park. (By shopping I mean groceries - not designer shoes.) It took me 3 hours to just pick up a few things, and then, after circling the parking lot at Whole Foods a few too many times, left for the other WF on Roosevelt. Crazy Saturday shoppers!

So, Lake Michigan, I'd like to see you again soon, but maybe on foot next time, for a leisurely stroll along the Point, or a fast speed walk along the water with the stroller.

Gratia - Gratus

2009-01-30T03:12:00.006-06:00

Although I'm not particularly thankful that I'm awake at 3a.m. (because of a certain sweet little 1 year old who will remain nameless), the thought of gratitude has been rolling around in my head the last couple of days, and after such a long period of ingratitudo, I'm compelled to record something new. Hence, the picture at the left of the Thanksgiving Turkey in January.

Yesterday, I actually felt fully thankful and appreciative of my life - right here and now. In Hyde Park. In the middle of Mike's grad school. At an uninspiring job. I try to articulate my thankfulness each day, and in my head I know we are blessed, but it's rare that I've really felt it lately. So here I was, mulling over a conversation I had just had with a friend, and browsing a stranger's blog, and it hit me. I am truly blessed. I have my hands full with two girls, but I don't get lonely or bored because I have so many wonderful friends, neighbors and acquaintances that we see and play with regularly who are my constant source of support. We live in a tiny apartment, but we live in such a rich and full environment and neighborhood. We don't have much extra money for traveling or entertainment, but for the moment, I have a job that allows us to pay for what we need. I'd rather not leave my girls for 20+ hours/week, but it's a flexible 20+ hours. No commute. I'm a little sheepish that this all hit me after comparing my situation to other moms - one who lives in a lovely house in suburbia with no mom friends around, and the other who gets to stay home with her babies, but is wondering how they will pay for food this month. But I often look at my situation in light of others' situations, and it usually doesn't matter. I still think about how things could be better, different, in my life. Anyway, it just feels good to finally experience in my heart and emotions what I know to be true in my head.

I love reading other mom's blogs when I get a chance, which is not nearly enough. Some I enjoy for their writing style, or their sarcasm, or because they are friends who I don't see enough and I just want to keep up on their life. Two mom-friend blogs that I've been enjoying have each, in their own way and style, dedicated 2009 to focus on a particular word - one chose passion, and one chose gratitude. Both are refreshing, honest and focus UP.

Happy Birthday, Baby!

2009-01-27T08:06:00.003-06:00

Has it been a year already? This morning, Nourit burst into the room where Avi was just waking up and shouted, "Happy Birfday, Avi!" and was greeted with Avi's delightful version of 'Good Morning.' Avi is now walking everywhere - she took her first 'no-hands' steps 5 days before Christmas. She is showing signs of big sister adoration - just yesterday, I found her heading toward Nourit's room numerous times while Nourit was napping. She finally pushed in the door and woke her big buddy up before I could stop her. She and Nourit enjoy baths together now, and I even observed Avi initiating hugs with Nourit yesterday. It's been quite a year - wow, what a year - but she is really rounding out this family and I couldn't imagine life without her.

Nourit is excited and wants to make presents for Avi. She wants to make a cake because that's what you do on birthdays, right? Unfortunately, we've found that January birthdays get short shrift in this family, so the birthday party is postponed for now. Soon, though, we'll be eating pizza and cake and toasting our baby-turned-toddler and thanking God for her wonderful smile.

Emerging

2009-01-21T20:37:00.003-06:00

After a week of negative numbers on the thermostat, sickness and pain in the apartment, and a general feeling of being overwhelmed by it all, we are, finally, emerging. A couple mornings playing with little friends brought some lightness and laughter, and two evenings of meals made by big friends went a long way to instill a feeling of warmth and calm at dinner time. Without the extra prep time and dishes to manage, we were all able to get to bed a little earlier. Our colds are going away, and the weather has been nice enough to play outside again. We even ventured out Saturday for Music Together, and then again today for story time at 57th Street Bookstore with our neighbors. Afterward, we had an impromptu picnic at Kyla's for lunch before I rushed off to work.

Nourit and Abigail - Monet and Renoir

Arms and fingers are part of the canvas, too!

Making cookies with Viola and Kubi

It's surprising, too, how the air feels just a bit lighter now that we have a new commander-in-chief leading us. It feels like our country is ours again, and not completely out of our control.

And there's that word again. After a couple weeks of good conversations, prayer, and doctor's visits, the knot is loosening and things don't seem so bad today.

Happy Birthday, Dear Michael

2009-01-12T06:52:00.002-06:00

It's Monday, January 12 and I'm wishing my husband a happy birthday. I'm also wishing him a yummy, homemade cake, and a really cool present (maybe something for the kitchen or electronic.) After that, I'm wishing him a full and speedy recovery from his knee injury, and that his cold woudn't progress. Then, I'm wishing him a wonderful night out for dinner with moi, maybe at Topolobampo (since we had to cancel our reservations for last Friday night.) I'm wishing him angelic children who don't cry, scream or hit each other (at least for one day!) and I'm wishing him a day without deadlines, obligations, and requirements of him to be anywhere but home.

These are my sincere wishes for him, but they may have to wait for a date in the future because today:
-I have something that looks like conjunctivitis and need to skip work to go to the doctor
-I have no plans to bake a cake with puss oozing out my eye
-I did not preplan and purchase a present and unfortunately, all his birthday checks just got rolled into the savings account
-I cannot do anything about his knee, and the reality is, it will take alot of PT before it feels better
-It's cold season, and I can't do anything about that, either (although I did buy alot of citrus!)
-School is in session, so Mike has to teach, be a student, and finish a gargantuan piece of music before he can put his feet up. Both feet up.
-Can't do anything about the children. Cries and screams are just part of the territory.
-And dinner will have to wait until...???

So, my darling, 30 something husband, when ??? arrives, I hope all these wishes come true. Or at least the one about going out to dinner.

Control

2009-01-08T23:01:00.002-06:00

I'm sitting at the computer way too late because of a late-in-the-day-caffeine buzz. My brain is spinning with the events of the day: a break-down during bible study, deeper relationships emerging, an impromptu meeting at work, the discovery that my bosses are fighting to keep me in my job, the realization that like it or not, my job is getting busy again, thoughts about whether God is fighting for me in the spiritual realm, racing back and forth to teach piano lessons, the idea to start a blog for praying moms, and fragmented time with my girls, my husband and my thoughts.

What deserves time and what doesn't? How do I choose what's best? Should I even think about choice? or just accept whatever rolls my way? The hovering topic of the day has been control. How much can we let go and still lead a disciplined, responsible life? When is it time to be Mary, and when is it purely necessary to be Martha? (I'm not talking about Martha Stewart.) Can we really experiment with our lives like this? Funny, for me, it's also been about birth control lately. How much of this chaos of emotion is from synthetic hormones? Would I feel like less of a disobedient child (of God) if I weren't so emotionally charged, frustrated and angry all the time?

On another note, so far, I've been pretty good about flossing, I've worn my hair down a couple days this week, and I did play about 10 minutes of piano and practiced yoga for another 10 minutes. Date night, however, has been canceled until further recovery.

Good night.

The Rest of the Resolutions

2009-01-02T14:47:00.004-06:00

So here's the fun list. Anything and everything I've wanted to accomplish in my lifetime, both past and future, to be attempted in one year - 2009.

In no particular order:

1) Finish knitting the hat I've started 3 times, and other stuff.

2) Organize the nursery (ie, put up more hooks.)

3) Recycle more. Meaning, throw less in the wastebasket next to me and more in the recycling bin all the way across the apartment.

4) Find ways to consume less.

5) Buy a composter. This conflicts with #4, but ultimately will help us waste less.

6) Begin our garden sooner this year. Before June.

7) Take more time with my appearance. Do my hair, iron my clothes, try to look less tired.

8) Intake less sugar. That means no more birthday parties!

9) Practice yoga. Find a parent-child yoga video or class. Find a class to go to once in a while - alone.

10) Date nights. Regularly. And refer to #7 on that particular night.

11) Plan Christmas presents long before December. And maybe actually make some nice things.

12) Continuing the Christmas theme: plan Advent activities long before Advent begins.

13) And organize my computer address book so I'm ready to send Christmas cards on time.

14) Play the piano.

15) Listen to more music intentionally. Watch Die Zauberflote (since I've only had it for 2 years now and haven't watched it.) Watch more opera on dvd.

16) Floss more.

17) Organize photos and videos on computer.

18) Frame the family pictures that have been waiting in my drawer for 10 years for this very event.

19) Listen to Mike's music - score in hand - really listen intentionally. (There's that word again!)

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T22:35:00.005-06:00

It's 10:30 and we just got back from a wonderful New Year's Eve party at Marsha's home. Marsha, (of Marsha's Music Together fame,) is the most amazing person. Children love her, including my own. Nourit couldn't wait to go to her party, eat, sing and dance, which is just what we did. (Okay, we ate, sang, and lounged on couches and car seats, but Nourit grabbed Marsha from behind and danced with her a bit!) I have been such a grouch for the past few months of 2008 that I couldn't imagine having fun at a party with two girls after 6pm. It was a relaxed and fun time, though, and the best part was singing along to piano and guitar - and I'm not talking about a Wii Rock Band.

So in an hour and a half, we'll say goodbye to 2008. Hopefully Nourit will be sleeping by then (she's on her third or fourth book with her dad right now) and so will I. For the past few years at Christmas, many friends send letters outlining their activities from the past year. We've done that, too, the past year or so. This year, I had no such inclination. It's not that it was a terrible year - it was just fatiguing. And I'm too tired to look backward. So forward it is - into 2009!

Although I love lists, I've refrained from listing any New Year's Resolutions for quite awhile. I guess I just don't want to be disappointed when I can't even make it out of the gate on any of them. This year, however, I'm so in need of a change -a change in my energy level, a change in my mental state, a change in my attitude - that I just want to write down all the things I'm looking forward to revamping as a sort of hopeful gesture. I know our circumstances aren't about to change much. It's going to be another busy, frantic year, just trying to make deadlines, making sure the babies are taken care of properly, and making ends meet. So here is a list I will publish for all the world to see (or at least my dad), and hopefully it will make me a little more accountable, or serve as a reminder to be hopeful and forward-looking, at the very least.

1) Pray without ceasing. And try to snatch some quiet time whenever possible. This one is a continuation of, well, my entire life's aim. I wrote about it in a season of expectancy this past year, but the quiet time always seems to elude me. I have no problem praying continually. The problem is my prayer is more like a constant drone. With two little girls, a job, and a husband who is busy, time is at a premium. If I can be successful at this one thing, I think it will a) contribute to success at the rest of my list, and b) be directly from God.

2) Go slow. er. I always feel like there is too much to do to slow down. The reality is, there is too much to do. If I go slow, though, and spend more time and attention on the project at hand, then maybe the things that go un-done will end up not mattering quite so much. If it's the housework that goes undone, though, I'm not sure I will be able to function. So now it's time to look for a new cleaning person.

I'll have to refrain from scheduling too much, as well, which is difficult. I really have cut way back on as much as possible, at the expense of things I really enjoy. It's hard to cut back on visiting friends and making playdates, though, because I need the support (and commiseration) of other moms, and Nourit is definitely at a social stage in her life. But when I have to go from bible study to work, and I'm yelling at Nourit to get going, something has to give.

3) Play the piano and listen to more music. This has gone the way of my yoga practicing intentions as well. I need to exercise to feel whole. I also need to make music to feel whole. Unfortunately, those things get short shrift and it's always, "Later, later." Later hasn't arrived yet. I may have to work out a time once or twice a week to have the babysitter stay so I can start working out my fingers again and remember what it is that I'd like to do in this lifetime.

4) Love my husband more. I love my husband more than the day I married him. But all the things I vowed when we were first married to always do; kiss him passionately every day, always make him my ally and be his ally, put him first before our kids; all these things have gone by the wayside in the midst of our "life." We spend so much time, energy, and affection on our children that sometimes, there's not a whole lot left to give to each other. We did make an attempt at date night this past quarter, and have one planned for next Friday, so we've got a start!

5) Criticize and judge less. Not to sound selfish, but I mean this about myself. I'm probably the most self-reflective person you'll meet. You may not know it though, because even though I'm the first to recognize my faults, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm good at correcting them. I think, though, that if I can love myself a little more, give myself a break, and try to really see myself as God sees me, then I'll be less prone to hold others to this impossible yard-stick I wield.

I think five is enough for now. There are a few others, like 'Send Christmas Cards Next Year', or 'Take a Family Picture,' or 'Finish Knitting Hats for the Girls.' But that will be another list, for another post. A more fun post. In the meantime, here's to an ambitious 2009!

Post Christmas Post

2008-12-26T22:24:00.015-06:00

Life seemed to get in the way of blogging during the weeks leading up to Christmas, so here is the quick and dirty version. Mike popped his knee out (OUCH!), he spent 8 hours in ER without seeing a doctor, we bought some crutches for him, he visited the doctor and is scheduled for surgery on January 5th. We said goodbye to all of our babysitters for the holiday, and spent alot of time inside while the weather got colder, our car got snowed/iced in, and Mike's knee and work kept him from venturing out too much. I did not send Christmas cards this year and fully regret it, although I'm not sure where I would have fit that in without going completely insane. I'm ready to begin working on them for next year, though. (That will probably be in my New Year's Resolution list.) Despite all this, we did fit a few fun things in.

Here's me with a potent cup of Gluhwein in my hand at Christkindlemarkt. Finally, a year where I'm not pregnant or breastfeeding and I can imbibe. Oh, wait. I guess I'm still breastfeeding...well, Avi enjoyed it, too.

Going to visit Santa at the market was priceless. Nourit was talking the talk for days before. "I'm gonna go see Santa. I'm gonna sit on his lap, and give him a kiss, and tell him I want a bell for Christmas. I looooove Santa." The moment she walked in and saw him, she froze, turned to me, and buried her head in my legs. Granted, the Santa was no more than 25 years old and a little creepy. Avi definitely didn't care for the Santa experience, either. But, Nourit was happy to eat the free candy cane!
Amazingly, with Mike on crutches and me pushing two little ones in the big stroller, we took a bus downtown in the middle of all the slush and snow, braved the cold and ice, and ate sausage and sauerkraut, potato pancakes, and candied nuts and Stollen. Yum, yum!
One of Nourit's favorite poses these days.

The snow has been wonderful this December, except when we need to drive in it. But we have done our best to take advantage and play. One day, after a heavy snow, I put Avi in the Moby wrap and pulled Nourit on the sled to run errands on campus. The stroller never would have made it through the snow, so it worked out perfectly. And I got a work out, too! I can't count how many people asked for a ride!
Christmas Eve, our church was closed, so we went the the 4pm service at Holy Trinity. It was a welcome change from all the work and headaches of the past quarter to focus on Christ's birth and God's gift of love to us. We sang carols, lit candles, and recalibrated ourselves for an hour. Then, we braved the cold (okay, I wasn't so brave, and despite the recalibration, was swearing under my breath at the cold) and went to Chinatown for dinner, in the tradition of the Jews and the Lews.
The girls are definitely getting more and more interested in each other. Of course, there is still sibling rivalry, but I'm getting glimpses of better days ahead!
Christmas morning!! Although Nourit was ready to start the day at 3:30 am, we began opening our stockings at around 8:30. She could hardly contain her excitement over the organic fruit leather and the new toothbrushes. We could have stopped there and she would have been perfectly content. In 10 years, though, I'm guessing it won't be so easy!
Avi, of course, just wanted to eat the wrapping paper.

This gift from Auntie Michelle was the hit of the day.
Crazy Forts has taken over our home.
Easy to please, Avi has a great time with mama's pajamas. No fancy gifts for her!
So the festivities are over (for a day, at least.) Nourit's birthday has passed, the snow is gone, and Mike is back to working on his piece. Today, with the weather almost up to 60 degrees, I took the girls out for a walk in the rain. Avi stayed snug and dry in the stroller, while Nourit splashed happily through every single puddle on the Midway. If she gets sick, I'll feel terrible. But she was really very happy just walking in the rain, splashing as much as she could.

Meet my 3 Year Old

2008-12-26T20:51:00.006-06:00

This is Nourit. She's 3 today. I'm so thankful that 3 years ago, we went to the hospital and met her face to face. Since then she's grown into such a funny, smart, sweet and interesting little girl. She's definitely a normal child. She refuses to give goodbye kisses, pushes her little sister out of the way, and sometimes pushes the limit. At the same time, she has an amazing capacity to surprise me with her tenderness and sensitive heart. 3 years have gone by in a flash. I can almost glimpse the little girl she will be in another 3 years.

Today, I took Nourit to the ice-skating rink for the first time. I put her new double blade skates on and out we went to the rink. The weather was perfect. Not too cold. I was so proud of her. From the moment we stepped on the rink, she had no hesitation. She would fall, but would laugh and get right back up. I skated behind her for the first little while, holding both of her hands in mine, and keeping her steady with my body. But then she broke away, preferring to hold onto the side and skate more independently. She expected to go fast, "like rabbits" she said earlier in the day. At the rink, she kept observing how fast everyone was skating. I told her she had to go slowly before she could go fast. I think she accepted that because she didn't seem to get frustrated. After awhile, we went home.
This morning, Nourit helped Mike bake her 3rd birthday cake. It was the cake she requested, chocolate with raspberry. As always, Mike did an amazing job, spending an entire day on his creation. Because we've been so reticent to plan anything this break, we hadn't invited anyone for a party. Nourit was expecting alot of kids to be here on her birthday, I guess because that's been her experience of birthdays thus far. Not wanting to disappoint, (and not wanting to eat the cake all by ourselves!) we invited our neighbors who were still in town (Emma and her mom, Scarlett and her parents and Nana, Kyla and the gang), and her good little friends that we hadn't seen in awhile (Claire and Jacob, and my dear friend, Viola). We had quite a houseful at 4:30 pm! Lots of little ones, lots of chocolate cake, and lots of joy in Nourit's eyes.

And for all our family members who called to wish Nourit a Happy Birthday? Although she put her hands over her ears and wouldn't talk to you on the real phone, I did overhear her calling each of you and talking to you on her new play cell phone. She said she loves you.

Avi, What Are You Doing To Us??

2008-12-19T14:05:00.003-06:00

Oh, Avi. You are such a small person, but make such an impact on us. Sometimes destructive, sometimes painful, but always with a smile!

This week, Avi's favorite pastime is pulling every single book, CD, tupperware, whatever, off the shelves. I'm kind of getting sick of picking up the same books 5 times a day.

Avi, who also puts anything that's not nailed down into her mouth, recently started to attempt to pick the hair around Mike's belly button and put it in her mouth. I am happy to report she was not successful in that one.

Speaking of eating, she insists on ignoring the signs we've taught her for 'food' and 'more' (and I know she knows them!) and resorts to screeching like a banshee if you don't give her food fast enough. Gone are the days of snacking on something sugary/salty/non-nutritious in front of her.

To read more about Avi's recent risque behavior, check out my recent blog on Chicago Mom's Blog, 'Take Your Hand Off My Breast.'

"When I'm Bigger, I Can Kill One, Too!"

2008-12-15T10:19:00.004-06:00

Nourit is all about the things she'll do 'when she's bigger.' She'll wear earrings like mama when she's bigger. She'll like to eat mushrooms when she's bigger. This morning, she hopped up from playing on the floor and jumped up on the piano bench shouting, "There's an ant!" It wasn't an ant, but a HUGE centipede, which I quickly smooshed with a paper towel. Fascinated, Nourit asked if I'd killed it. When I nodded affirmatively she excitedly said, "When I'm bigger, I can kill one, too!"

Quoting our Children's Books

2008-12-10T19:52:00.009-06:00

Since the only books either of us are reading lately are for the 3 and under crowd, we're trying to find ways of identifying. Surprisingly, quite a few apply to our life this week.

Dr. Suess: "Sad Dad Bad Had - Dad is sad. Very, very sad. He had a bad day. Oh, what a bad day dad had."

Jill Murphy: "Because I want 5 minutes peace from all of you!"

Mo Willems: "Where's KNUFFLE BUNNY?" (Insert DODO. 10 x per day.)

Ian Falconer: "Olivia (Nourit), time for your you-know-what!" But Olivia's (Nourit's) not tired.

Sandra Boynton: "We'reveryverybusyandwe'vegotalottodoandwehaven'tgotamomenttoexplain
italltoyouforonSundayMondayTuesdaythereareplaceswemustbeandon
WednesdayThursdayFridaywe'reasbusyascanbewithourmostimportant
meetingsandourmostimportantcallsandwehavetodosomanythings
andpostthemonthewalls."

Noah, Santa and God

2008-12-05T19:48:00.004-06:00

Often, Nourit will say to me, "God is here." Or God is in the car, or on the swingset, but essentially I think she's beginning to comprehend his omnipresence. Tonight, Santa became omnipresent when she said, out of the blue, "Santa is here." "Kinda like God?" I queried. "Yes," she said. I then made a passing comment about how Santa is a good old man, but he's just pretend. God is for real, but Santa is just for fun. It was a strange moment for me. Mike and I had vaguely discussed the idea of Santa, and agreed we would downplay his "realness." When I told my 2.5 year old that Santa was just pretend, I felt like I might be robbing her of some childhood mystery. I'm sure it won't affect her negatively one way or the other - Santa's real for 4 years or not. It's still fun to have your picture taken with him downtown. But it was one of those moments that I wasn't quite prepared for. I might just need to make a chart with Noah, God and Santa all in a row, and explain the difference between all the kind looking old men with white beards.

I Tried to Cancel Netflix or How Mike and I Watch a Movie

2008-12-05T13:29:00.004-06:00

A few weeks ago, I finally decided to cancel our Netflix subscription since a movie typically sits in our desk drawer for a month before we get a chance to watch it. I sent the last in a long line of bad picks back (we had a string of rather boring Spanish films) and canceled the membership online. Too late. The next day we received 'Cache' in our mailbox, a French psychological thriller starring Juliette Binoche that didn't sound remotely interesting to me. The last time I watched a French thriller, the babysitter ended up slaughtering everyone at the end. Gross.

'Cache' lay buried underneath a week's worth of unopened mail until I received a late notice from Netflix. I immediately dropped it into a mailbox and let them know it was on it's way. Then, it showed up back in my mailbox because I forgot to take it out of the original envelope (addressed to me, of course.) 'Cache' just wouldn't go away!

Last night, we put Nourit to bed 3 hours early since she was a crazed wild-child after no nap, and Mike's knee injury had exhausted him to the point he couldn't write anymore. And me, well, all I had waiting for me was a pile of dishes that could keep. So we sat down to watch this movie.

During the first five minutes, we rewound the dvd at least 3 times. The movie seemed to click to fast-forward mode at the same place and we thought I had sat on the remote or that Avi had kicked it. Finally, we figured out that what we were watching was a fast-forward of the movie the characters were watching. Good start.

The movie was interesting enough for me to stay awake, but as soon as blood was shed (about 3/4 of the way through) I was having second thoughts. The entire movie centered around this couple receiving threatening video tapes and pictures, and just after a character died, I was expecting to learn the sender's identity. We watched a final scene where I witnessed an entire conversation between two of the main characters while Mike saw only a group of people without any distinguishable characters. Then, right when I thought we'd find out who the perpetrator was, the credits rolled. Aaaaaaah!

I was confused and annoyed that it was not an obvious ending. Mike was perfectly accepting of the fact that there was no conclusion. We saw things the other didn't. Were we watching two different movies?

Memory Loss

2008-12-04T15:51:00.004-06:00

Last night, I had the enviable task of snuggling with Nourit in the Ikea chair in her bedroom. Now that Mike is gone from the apartment most days, she stays up later to spend time snuggling with him and they end up having some pretty interesting conversations while I'm in the kitchen doing the dishes, or trying to put Avi to bed. But Mike injured his knee yesterday, rendering him unable to sink into the depths of the chair to snuggle, so the job fell to me.

As we were sitting there, I tried desperately to recall what it was like to hold her there as a baby. I tried to remember how she would look at me while she was nursing, or how she would pull on my long hair (something she still does.) I tried, but all I could come up with were images of photos we'd taken of her when she was an infant, or an articulation of those things - but not the actual memory. I remember in general that she was an easy baby, that I loved our time together when she was nursing, but I can't connect her babyhood looks and actions to her ever-emerging personality at 1 1/2, or 2, or now almost 3 years of age. There's a disconnect somehow. Why can't I recall something I was physically and emotional present for almost constantly?

I look at Avi and am so conscious of the fact that the baby I'm getting to know now might be a completely different little girl. How much of her tenacity in getting my attention, or getting mobile will translate into her character later on? Will I see as many smiles on her face at 3 years of age as I do now? How can I hold on to a moment or two of this evolving and growing person's life?

On a whim, I asked Nourit about memories during her, thus far, short life. Her answer made me laugh to myself, and although I doubt she really remembers things from her infancy, I still have to wonder if a little of it is true.

"Nourit, do you remember being a baby?"

"Yes, I cried because I wanted to eat big-girl food. I cried because I didn't want breastmilk, but I wanted big-girl food."

Ruminating on Thanksgiving 2008

2008-12-02T15:20:00.003-06:00

Toddlers - Teenagers - Two A.M. - Turkey - wii Tennis - Tinker Toys - Twenty-eight people for dinner - Turkey again - Tummy ache - kniTTing - southwesT on Time - Time alone to Tinkle the old ivories - TicTacs - Tattoos

Sunday Morning Shower

2008-11-23T08:32:00.002-06:00

The diningroom looks like Pompeii, thousands of years after the volcano erupted - perfectly preserved food from dinner still on the table, nothing changed from the night before. I want to take a shower, but hubby wants to stay in bed 20 more minutes, sans babies. So I enlist the help of Lady and the Tramp to babysit Nourit while I pull the exersaucer into the bathroom and put Avi inside. I supply her with other toys since she's not interested in the ones that are actually on the exersaucer. I turn on the hot water and get into the shower. Ahhhh...

"I have to go to the potty, Mommy!" Nourit runs into the bathroom. I direct from the shower. I reach out and hand her the stepstool over the exersaucer so she can get onto the big potty. She puts her little potty on top, the one with the soccer ball picture on it. (She loves to say she's peeing on the soccer ball.) She starts to take her pajamas off, but it's hard for her while she's dancing the I've-got-to-go-now dance. I coach her through getting her feet out, and taking the tabs off her diaper. She's finally free and hops up onto the potty. Success! Next, I forcefully tell her she MUST get some toilet paper and wipe. The exersaucer is in the way of the sink, so luckily, there is a box of wipes in the bathroom within the reach of the shower and I toss her one for her hands. Probably not as sanitary as soap and water, but better than nothing. Especially considering what she did next.

Little naked girl is gone for a few minutes, baby is contendedly playing in the saucer. Little naked girl returns happily stating that she had helped herself to ONE chocolate chip. With such an emphasis on the word ONE, I know she has gotten more. I ask a leading question and she 'fesses up. "I got ONE for me, and ONE for Dodo," says the naked girl.

I think my shower turns out to be 15 minutes longer than usual with all management executed from behind the plastic curtain.

We Put Avi in the Closet - and It Worked!

2008-11-14T07:28:00.002-06:00

5 nights later, we have had two nights of getting up every hour, followed by three glorious nights of a baby who sleeps through the night! Guess the closet did the trick!

(If you want to read more, click here to see my post "Nobody Puts Baby in the Closet" on the Chicago Mom's Blog.)

No Plan Stan

2008-11-13T13:52:00.003-06:00

Today was one of those rare days with no agenda. Everyone seemed to sleep just a little longer, it was my morning off work and we had no music class to get to, no plans with friends, and nothing pressing to do. The weather looked to be a bit nicer than the last two days, too. Bliss! I bundled the girls up and got out the stroller. I knew Avi would fall asleep immediately - she's had this low-grade fever since yesterday and just wants to be still. Nourit wanted to go to 'campus' so off we headed. Sometimes she claims a word for her vocabulary and you think you know what she means, but then you realize later that her meaning and Webster's meaning are completely different. I'm still not sure what she meant by 'campus' because after we got on campus, she still wasn't convinced we were there. We went inside one of the buildings, but that wasn't where she wanted to be. We went to the pond. Still no good. So I suggested Bixler and she was happy to trade 'campus' for the playground. We had the entire place to ourselves and played for awhile. I coaxed her back to the stroller with the promise of a croissant (but only after we stopped by the bookstore to pick up something for a friend.) We took our Medici croissant and headed to the Winter Garden and sat at the foot of the statue of the 'nice man' and shared our chocolate-y treat. There was a group of young children out playing, and she wanted to run and play with them so badly. So we kind of ran and played parallel to them. It still makes me want to consider another preschool for her for the fall, if the French school doesn't pan out. I just don't know...

Mama's Girls

2008-11-10T14:22:00.003-06:00

I caught a glimpse this weekend of what my life will be 30 years down the road. Children, in their 30's, returning home sick with laundry and children for me to watch. Yes, I am 34 and I'm still a mama's girl. I woke up with some fluey thing on Thursday, threw all my laundry (including the kitchen rugs) into the car, along with the babies, and headed back home. The entire way I willed myself to stay awake, keeping a close eye on how far the next exit would be in case I had to throw up. 3 hours later, I pulled into the familiar driveway, handed the girls to my mom, and promptly fell asleep.

For all the times I complain that nothing has changed in the house I grew up in (same pictures on the wall, same knickknacks on the shelves) I was thankful for it this weekend. There's nothing better than a cozy home with a mom who wants to make sure you are warm enough, fed enough, and happy enough. I needed that this weekend. Avi has exhausted me, and my body finally said, "Enough!" After some rest on Thursday afternoon, I started to feel better by Friday.

We took a lovely walk on the last semi-warm day, and then made the obligatory run to the mall to pick up a few items. I WISH I had had my camera. In the middle of the sad little midwestern mall with 30% of the shops empty, is a row of cars with a handle for the parent to push their kid around. Totally kitschy and obnoxious. Nourit jumped in the biggest one, a fire engine with two seats, and my mom went to see just how much it cost. $5! (With a $1 refund upon return.) I said absolutely not, and Grandma put the money in anyway. I decided to set Avi in the front and from that moment, the look of pure joy never left the girls' faces. Avi was so excited, steering the big fire engine, while Nourit was in back completely enjoying the ride. Grandma pushed them all over Macy's while I looked for this and that (and never did find what I needed.) She said it was the best $4 she ever spent. If I could have looked into the future 18 years ago on one of those Saturdays I was hanging out at the mall with my friends, and seen this sight, I'm not sure I what I would have thought!

Friday night, though, between Avi and Nourit, I was awake from 12:15 until 6 am. At that point, I walked downstairs crying and handed Avi to my mom to watch so I could at least get an hour's sleep. She didn't wake me, and two hours later, I woke up and realized she'd never make it to work in time. She said it was just fine, called in late to work, then ended up taking the entire day off so I could get some more sleep. The next night, we made a deal, and I handed Avi to her at 3 am so I could get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. Four hours of sleep later, I felt like a newer woman than I've been in a long time.

I returned home full of plans for Avi, poor little creature. Operation Sleep Facilitation for Avi is now underway. Stay tuned for more details of our strategy. Or is that our tactic?

Election Night, 2008

2008-11-05T11:25:00.002-06:00

We just experienced a pivotal moment in history last night. Now that I’ve cried, cheered, and celebrated with my friends and neighbors, I want to write a little about where we were, where my baby girls were, November 4, 2008, to share with my future, grown-up girls.

Nourit and Avi were both sound asleep when ABC announced that California had gone to Barack Obama, and he was, at that point, the President Elect. A feeling of relief and emotion made tears well up in my eyes. We watched scenes from Grant Park where thousands of people, including many of our friends, had gathered to watch the results and celebrate. I was so proud of my city – everyone was responsible and orderly, and the look of thankfulness and pure relief on the faces said it all. Even the gunshots outside our apartment, a few blocks away, sounded more joyful than menacing. (I still would prefer NOT to hear gunshots so close to my child’s window, though.)

My girls slept while history was being made. They will grow up never knowing a United States that didn’t have a black president. They will grow up accepting that a foreign sounding name is absolutely normal.

Never once in this election did race make an impact on my decision to vote for Obama. Obviously, I didn’t dismiss him as a candidate because he didn’t have the same skin color as I do, but I also didn’t cast my vote for him to change history by electing a black president. I simply voted for him because I thought he was the better person for the (incredibly difficult) job of getting our country back on track. After they announced his election, though, and after listening to numerous stories about how far we’ve come from just a generation ago by electing a black president, I stand amazed at how monumental this decision really is. It’s shocking to me how racist and divided our country has been, even recently. I can’t fathom bearing the same prejudices that were in place not even 100 years ago. I’m not completely naïve. I know that racism still accounts for so much injustice. The fact that it’s 2008, though, and that electing a president without white skin is this extraordinary – well, that’s amazes me. Thank God that my children will be even farther removed from useless prejudice.

I found John McCain’s concession to be wonderfully expressed. Where was this John McCain over the past few months? I found Barack Obama’s speech to be, as always, even and graceful, but sober, as well. He handed the victory back to us, and challenged us about the difficult days ahead. I feel like I do when there is house cleaning to be done: I just want to start immediately get the hard part over with. I’m sure it won’t be as simple as that. By the time my girls are old enough to read this and place it within their life experience, I hope, pray and believe that we will have become a better America. For them.

The Weather Forecast for Today is...

2008-11-03T14:12:00.002-06:00

Exquisite! November 3rd has never been more beautiful. The leaves have changed colors, but are still on the trees. The sun is warm, the breeze is soft. Walking home through the Winter Garden, I passed groups of students, sitting crosslegged in circles, their teachers treating them to class outside. I came upon five people, five points strategically placed, sitting perfectly still, quietly reading and silently reveling in this amazing day.

I want to play hookie, to go running by the lake, or lay on the grass with my eyes closed, soaking in the sun's warmth. But I can't play hookie from my children. Perhaps they will play hookie with me...

Obama-Ween

2008-11-01T16:43:00.011-05:00

Okay, so only about 20 minutes of our entire Halloween was dedicated to Obama, but since we are just a few days away from the election, it added to the excitement of the day (or night, as I'll explain later in this blog.)

I don't know who was more excited for Halloween Friday morning, me or Nourit. Once we got her costume on, though, she executed her role as Fairy Princess quite effortlessly.Her baby dragon sister, cozy in her fleece costume, promptly fell asleep as soon as we put the stroller on the road. First, we went to Music Together class and did the Monster Mash with all the other adorably costumed kids. Avi even had a dragon boyfriend there. Next, we visited friends working on campus, passing out the last of the fall cookies we had made the day before. Then, we attempted a nap, but that ended soon after I heard "Happy Halloween, Mama!" about 10 times in a row over the monitor.

We finally got ready to go to Claire's for trick-or-treating and a party. When we arrived, Mike, who had never been to Lisa and Nate's house, realized it was where our old friends Alison and Jonathan used to live. (Well, they rented the coach house adjacent to Lisa and Nate's house.) Claire and Nourit looked like little fairy-butterfly cousins, and once the rest of the kids showed up, we set out to trick-or-treat around the block. Surprisingly, Nourit and the other little girls took it all in stride when we approached some pretty scarily decorated houses. I guess their eyes were on the prize(s).

While we were out, we heard the rumor that Barack Obama was at the house across from our friends' house. Sure enough, when we wandered back, there were Secret Servicemen everywhere (but no sign of Senator Obama.) It was finally time to eat when the cry rose up that Obama was getting ready to leave his friend's house. I've never been one to be starstruck, and always feel rather uncomfortable gawking - after all, they are only people. But with the election only 4 days away, I was excited enough to line up next to the driveway and wait. That is, until I realized how hungry I was, and that there was an amazing plate of homemade Macaroni and Cheese a la the Barefoot Contessa. (That, and I had left Avi in Claire's crib upstairs, and I knew she'd be screaming.) So I went back inside, and of course, at that point Barack Obama came out of the house, drove right by Nourit and Mike waving the queen's wave, and went on his way. Of course, our camera battery had died an hour earlier. Following the sighting, Nourit allegedly said, "There's Obama. Where's my candy?"

Cookie Party, or "We're gonna need alot more stepstools!"

2008-10-30T19:42:00.009-05:00

It took me a year to do, but I finally ordered some fall cookie cutters, found a sugar cookie recipe, and baked, baked, baked! I also made icing for the first time, scouring the city for powdered egg whites so as not to accidentally kill our children by using raw egg whites, and experimenting with natural food coloring. That's when things got a little tricky. See, I was imagining neon orange and astroturf green. I kept adding more and more of the (um, really expensive) natural die to get the deep, rich color I wanted. Instead, I got pastel icing that tasted like, well, the spice aisle in an Indian grocer. This morning, with emergency directions from my husband, I added this and that, and came up with something edible. I actually ended up liking the muted colors after all.

To make it more festive, we invited over our neighbors (and friends!) and had a cookie making and icing party. Abigail (3) and her mom, Kyla (almost 3) and her mom (and Baby Cole), and Scarlett (1.5) and her mom came over to help Nourit, Avi and I ice about a million cookies. (Danielle came over later, too, since she's got my vote for favorite non-blood related Auntie.)

Before our first guests arrived, (while we were busy getting the dishes clean from the night before!) Nourit started lining up stepstools in front of the chopping block where we usually roll out the dough. "We're gonna need alot of stepstools," she said, as she brought in all that she could round up, including the potty seat/step. We gently explained that that one stayed in the bathroom exclusively, then proceeded to clean the floor and her hands after we sent it back to the other side of the apartment.

Abigail and Anna

Amber and Kyla

MacKenzie and Scarlett

Busy creating masterpieces!

And here they are, the masterpieces.

Links to recipes used in this production of "Cookie Party":
Sugar Cookies
Orange Cardamom Cookies
Decorating Icing

What Has Dodo Been Up To Lately?

2008-10-29T12:36:00.003-05:00

Find out on the Chicago Moms Blog, where I blogged about Dodo's Great Escape.

If you don't know about the 5th member of our family named Dodo, please click here.

There's a New Deli in Town

2008-10-27T10:46:00.003-05:00

We've been in Hyde Park awhile now, starting on our 6th year, amazingly enough. During that time we've been excited to welcome the expansion of Hyde Park Produce on 53rd Street, the backstory cafe on 61st Street, and Istria Cafe, under the traintracks on 57th Street and in the Hyde Park Art Center. These are our favorite places to frequent, and now, from the owners of Istria, comes Zaleski & Horvath MarketCafe, on 47th Street.

Yesterday, we drove over after church (it's a little far for a walk with the stroller for us) and stopped in to drink some coffee and look around. Both of the owners were there and gave us such a warm welcome, explaining their coffee making process (with a Clover coffee machine, brewing coffee, not just espresso, 1 cup at a time), slicing samples of their wide variety of cheeses for us to try, and writing down our suggestions for market items. (I suggested dried egg whites, because I can never seem to find them for the cookie icing I want to try.)

Although the $8/bag of King Arthur flour** is a bit too expensive for us, we'll definitely go back for the deli. We took home two cheeses that we had with a baguette for dinner last night - delicious! And their selection of sandwiches looks amazing. I hope (and will suggest) they expand their baked good selection to include something chocolate-y and some flaky croissant. (If they put a little nib of chocolate on Mike's espresso plate, he would be very happy, too.)

The store is decorated with great old family pictures, most prominently the patriarchs of the Zaleski and Horvath families. Already, a week or two after opening, there were quite a few people in the store, drinking coffee, and milling around. One of the owners (the tall, blonde one) said the opening of the store happened just around the time his first baby was born, so he is looking forward to raising two "children", I guess!

One of the things that draws us to a place is the people. I love the small-town feel of knowing from whom I'm buying. I love to support store owners who are trying to provide the best quality item and good service to our neighborhood. The Z & H Market isn't perfect yet, but I'll be drawn back to watch it grow because of the personal welcome we received from the moment we arrived to the moment we left (squirrelly children notwithstanding!)

**Since posting this, the owners said they repriced the flour. They really, truly are interested in their clients needs/wishes! All the more reason to go back! (in addition to the cheese and coffee...)

At Some Point...

2008-10-23T16:31:00.001-05:00

…she’s got to stop crying and fall asleep. I’ll give her 10 minutes. After 5, I get up and put my hand on her back. Ah, there she goes. Tiptoe back to bed. She wakes up, madder than before. Screaming like she’ll never be happy again. But she always smiles in the morning.

At some point, my maternal gut becomes a detached observer. “I wonder how long she’ll actually keep this up.” “Wow, that’s a new level of crying I haven’t heard.” “Is she going to do this when she’s 10?” All these thoughts while I’m hiding my head under the comforter, just to muffle the crying from the crib 5 feet away. I’ll give her 10 minutes.

4 minutes go by. At some point, the babies in the Romanian orphanage stopped crying. Why do I always think of that? I get up and she immediately grows quiet. She just wants my hand on her back. But I’m tired, and at some point, I need to get some sleep. I tiptoe back to bed. She screams a few more minutes until Mike comes in and picks her up from her crib. “Do you want to sleep with her in the bed?” No. But yes.

I love the feel of her little body so warm next to mine. I love feeling her breathe, knowing she is exactly where she wants to be – next to me. She falls asleep immediately. If only it were this way all the time. There would be no struggle to figure out the best sleep situation for her – for all of us. If she would just be content to lie in between us and sleep, we’d all be happy. But at some point, she stops sleeping and just wants to nurse nonstop. And I’m at the point where I need to sleep. Even a couple hours at a time.

LeapFrog Fun

2008-10-20T13:12:00.007-05:00

Last night I attended my first "mommy blogger" party, sponsored by LeapFrog. I was very excited about the chance to meet the other bloggers in person, which was a wonderful part of the afternoon, and putting faces with the names, words, and experiences I've read about for months.

What a welcoming party it was, right from our entrance into the the Kindercare building. We stepped into a room full of toys, yummy food, and stacks of LeapFrog products to try out (and take home!) After a few minutes of mingling, I left my oldest with her father and sat in on a discussion hosted by members of the Advisory Board for LeapFrog. They seemed genuinely interested in taking back suggestions from parents to their developers. I enjoyed hearing from other moms about their personal 'toy philosophy' and relating it to mine.

Back to the play room, we ate pizza, tried to carry on conversations in the midst of chasing after children, and collecting age-appropriate toys to bring home and try out. I noticed (too late) there was a face painter and an artist rendering exquisite designs on cheeks and on paper. That's okay - Nourit is still too small to be disappointed to have missed it. She enjoyed watching the older and more interesting Pink Girl get her face painted with swirls and sparkles.

I am definitely not accustomed to bringing home armfuls of toys, and I was floored by LeapFrog's generosity. I will certainly keep my eye on them as my girls get older and more interested in electronics. It will be good to have such a highly regarded educational option to consider when we get to that stage!

And Now it Begins

2008-10-16T13:50:00.002-05:00

The quest for the right school. Preschool, that is. I have been dreading this day ever since I learned from my neighbor what a crazy city this is for getting your child into school. And it's not just once. It's finding the right preschool, and then making sure your name is on the list a year ahead just to be considered for a lottery; it's then making sure you can get into a good Kindergarten/Elementary school, which in turn doesn't guarantee you an automatic feed into a junior high and high school. Oh, no. You have to apply for each of those, as well.

Then, there are the choices. Because where we live, there is no way I'm sending my child to the school down the block. It's not a matter of elitism. It's a matter of her safety (and frankly, a desire for a nurturing and academically challenging atmosphere.) But we're not at academics quite yet. We're still at preschool. And there are alot of them, both private and public, in Hyde Park and downtown Chicago. I think at this point, we're leaning away from homeschooling because we'd have to hire someone else to do that for us!

So today we dove in and visited our dream school for Nourit - the Lycee Francais. We were quite surprised at what a warm and welcoming place it was. I guess we imagined an austere staff, and children who didn't smile. We felt quite the opposite, and are ready to apply before the December deadline. (Yes, that is for admission for Fall 2009. Welcome to Chicago, folks.) The idea of having Nourit immersed in French while she's at the best age for learning another language is our main reason for looking at this school. If she remained there throughout her entire school career, she would graduate with an excellent education under her belt, a year beyond most other schools academically. And growing up bilingual would help her learn other languages more easily, and give her a leg up for in our ever-shrinking global community. The pricetag, however, is (gulp) $13,100/year. For preschool. So obviously, we cannot send our child here unless we get an amazing (and it would have to be almost 100% amazing) discount. We'll still apply, though, because those little kids speaking French were so darn happy.

Please Sir, I Want Some...

2008-10-15T18:03:00.004-05:00

Tonight, Avi exhibited again that she speaks English. (With her hands, at least!) While Mike and I ate dinner (and Nourit made playdough cakes), Avi kept putting her hands together for more squash and apples. Not quite as clearly as our ASL friend at the left, but very clearly communicating with her hands what she wanted.

She can also clap and wave. What a smart baby! (Makes up for all the fussiness, I guess!)

Stealing Summer in October

2008-10-13T10:33:00.010-05:00

The last 4 days have been amazing. After a cold and rainy spell, the weather turned warm again - I guess that's our Indian Summer? There was something inside of me (and many other people I ran into at the beach!) that wanted to just soak it all in, banking up sunshine for those cold and gray days that are heading our way very soon.

Nourit at the 57th Street Beach baking a sand pie.

Thursday, we left the house with our wool sweaters, and returned in short sleeves. We kicked off the first day of our ecumenical mom's bible study, held at Hyde Park Alliance Church. 14 moms, 22 kids, and 5 caregivers arrived at 10am, and soon the church was filled with the excitement of the children having Sunday School on Thursday. The diverse group of moms met upstairs in the sanctuary, thankful for an hour and 45 minutes sans children to pray and talk together. We decided to study the Psalms, and will meet again every other Thursday. Nourit, who never admits to having a good time, said she really liked 'going to school.'

Peter playing on the beach.

Friday morning, we caravaned with Amber/Kyla/Cole and headed to the 57th Street beach. Not 10 minutes after we arrived, our friends Joanna/Joshua/Peter (the initiator of our mom's study) and new friends Leslie/Eli/Micah, surprised us by coming to the beach, too. The kids splashed in the cold water and built sandcastles for a couple hours, while we tried to make sure noone ran into the water or the road, and all babies were happily fed and rocked. 4 moms, 8 kids. Not your average teenage trip to beach, but wonderful to be in the sun, nonetheless.

Amber, Kyla and Cole (all bundled up!)

Saturday was market day. Mike set up some recording equipment to tape Baba Eli singing and playing. He'll use it for a project he's working on this quarter. Nourit, Avi and I visited the garden, listened to Baba Eli, went to a cheese tasting, and just chitchatted with neighbors. I was excited to learn the market will stay open through December, moving inside the Experimental Station in November.

Avi contemplating the nutritive value of dirt.

When we got home, Nourit and I decided to get creative with the apples we picked last week. Nourit was too excited to nap and leave the baking to me, so she stayed up and we made our first yummy apple pie together. It really is easy! Alas, for two days in a row, little miss no-napper was so horrible by early evening that she went to bed more than 2 hours ahead of schedule.

Nursing In the Pumpkin Patch

2008-10-09T16:30:00.004-05:00

I'm fortunate enough to be able to nurse my babies whenever/wherever, and just lazy enough to appreciate it even more ('cause there are no bottle warmers in the pumpkin patch!) Read more on Chicago Mom's Blog.

Apples and Peppers and Pumpkins, Oh My!

2008-10-08T11:34:00.004-05:00

This past Saturday, we ventured down to Garwood Orchards in Indiana with friends from church for one of my absolute all-time favorite activities: Apple Picking! We picked Mutsus and Staymans, Red Peppers, and pumpkins. Of course, we followed it up with some yummy doughnuts and cider. After taking a little bite out of the much-anticipated doughnuts, Nourit quietly said, "Mommy, I don't like doughnuts." What's wrong with my child?? (For the record, she ate red peppers off the vine like they were going out of style.)

Nourit ate an apple as big as her head - and wouldn't share.

Mommy and Nourit looking for the perfect pumpkin. We found it, but it already rotted on our windowsill. Looks like we'll have to start the hunt all over!

Mike trying not to bonk Avi in the head with the ginormous Mutsus.

To Market, To Market (to buy a fat load of produce)

2008-10-06T10:42:00.002-05:00

To hear my rant about grocery shopping in the year 2008, visit me here at Chicago Mom's Blog in To Market, To Market.

How to "Take a Hike" without a Kitchenaid (Note: Toddlers required)

2008-10-02T14:30:00.008-05:00

Last year, we discovered the best scones known to Chicago. They were at the Bleeding Heart Bakery's tent at the Green City Market, and they eat like a meal. They are not cakey, but dense and crumbly. Click here for the actual recipe for the Bleeding Heart Bakery's Take a Hike Scones without commentary.

Now, here is my recipe. Without a Kitchenaid. With two toddlers.

Take a Micro-Hike Scones
8 oz Earth Balance buttery stick vege oil spread or other vegan margarine (do not use shortening) - But we're not vegan, so next time I'll probably just use butter.
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
2/3 cup organic light brown sugar - It definitely won't work if it's not organic.
2 tsp cinnamon - Clean out the coffee grinder so you can grind up the cinnamon sticks since the cinnamon bottle is bound to be EMPTY!
2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda - If you don't have any in the pantry, try the open one from the fridge. Noone will ever know.
1 1/2 cup old fashioned rolled oats - What, exactly, makes them Old-Fashioned?
3/4 cup dried fruit, cut into small dice (any combinations: cranberries, apples, apricots, or other fruit) - We used apricots and dates this time around.
1/4 cup pumpkin seeds - I had to ask Mike if "Pepitos" were pumpkin seeds. Apparently they are. Hey, I used to have a 6th grade crush on a boy named Nick Pepito. Hmmm...Little Nicky Pumpkin Seed.
4 tbsp flaxseeds- These are so good for you. And your bum.
3/4 cup plain soy milk - Again, we're not vegan so I substituted buttermilk this time around.

Cut the buttery sticks or margarine into chunks and freeze for a minimum of 1 hr. This is a good way to teach your toddler how to use a knife. It's butter and you can use a butter knife. How much safer could it be?

In the bowl of a electric mixer, stir together the flour, sugar, cinnamon, baking powder and baking soda. Mix in the oats. Using the dough hook attachment on med-low speed, cut frozen margarine into dry ingredients until pea size chunks are left, 2-3 min. Scrape down the ingredients as needed as they creep up the sides of bowl. Since all we own is a dinky little hand mixer, we had to get creative. This is when we invited another two year old over to help. Believe it or not, 4 little hands in the dough gets it mixed up pretty thoroughly. And since a good deal of it goes in their mouths, it's the perfect recipe since no raw eggs are involved.

Briefly mix in the dried fruits, pumpkin seeds and flaxseeds. Add soymilk (mixture will look soggy, but keep mixing until it reaches a thick, oatmeal-like consistency and isn't runny, about 1-2 min). Here we add buttermilk and keep mixing with little fingers. When they get tired. big fingers do the job just as well.

Scoop the dough onto a lightly floured surface; with hands, pull the dough together and roll to a thickness of 1 1/2 inches. Cut out scones with a 2 1/2 inch round cutter. The hard part here is making sure each toddler has access to a small cookie cutter, since they are much cooler than the big cookie cutters. I always thought bigger was better, but after witnessing the struggle to gain control over the smallest cutter, I have to revise my theory.

Transfer to a baking sheet lined with a parchment paper and bake for 25-28 min at 375 degrees. Scones will puff up and crack on the top. During this time, it is essential to put Abba or some other dance-able music on your I-Tunes. Somehow, a little twirling and head bopping make the scones puff up to perfection.

Cool completely. Yeah, right. They taste much better warm from the oven. (makes 9 or 10) or 13 or 20.

All Things Gross and Disgusting

2008-10-01T15:21:00.003-05:00

So I came home from work today and Jessica handed over two well-fed and happy children. She was staying to help with some cleaning, so I got her started on the laundry and read Nourit her requisite 3 books and put her to bed for a nap. I then picked up Avi and started to put her in the Moby wrap. That's when she erupted. My poor, poor Avi - all the contents of her little tummy came out - the bottle of formula (I ran out of breastmilk in the freezer), her bowl of squash and apples (that she apparently gobbled up at lunch today), and whatever she put in her stomach after I got home and nursed her.

Maybe that was the problem. Jessica said she had eaten so much, but as soon as I picked her up, she threw herself sideways - her sign that she wants to nurse. I didn't think babies would eat when they were full. In fact, my neighbor and I just had that conversation when she told me her pediatrician thought she had overfed her newborn son. "That's crazy," I said. "You can't overfeed a breastfed baby." I'm wondering if maybe it was the formula, but she's had it a few times already now. Possibly the new food she was introduced to today? All three? A lingering bug? I don't know.

The poor thing vomited on Sunday evening, too, but I thought she was over whatever bug she had. I'm not used to a baby who pukes because Nourit never has. Oh, except the one time we went to Joy Yee's and she kept eating mushrooms. The next morning,I looked in her crib and there were all the baby mushrooms she had ingested the night before. "I burped!" she had cried happily. And we vowed never to let her eat so much Chinese food again.

So, Jessica is standing helplessly by while Avi is puking orange stuff all over me and the kitchen floor. But she suddenly springs into action, throws me a towel, and heads off to the nursery to get some new clothes for Avi. Uh-oh. Nourit's bed is all wet, and so are her pants and underwear. I FORGOT TO PUT A DIAPER ON HER! (Sometimes I feel like Dobby. Stupid, stupid Mommy! I mean, Dobby.) Jessica, bless her heart, was trying to get towels for me to bathe Avi, trying to clean Nourit up and put on a video for her, trying to change the sheets on the bunkbed, and trying to clean up the kitchen. She gets an A++ because she managed all of it.

And now my girls are both sound asleep, the laundry is almost finished, and I'm enjoying a cup of hot chocolate. Or rather, I'm drinking hot chocolate so I can stay awake and finish out the day. I hope my Avi starts feeling better. I feel so helpless with a sick child.

Sleepstarved in Chicago

2008-09-30T11:01:00.000-05:00

Cross Posted from Chicago Moms Blog

from August 27, 2008

It's almost 3 am, and Avi is finally asleep after an hour of pacing, bouncing, singing and trying to keep her from nursing on my arm. It's our third night of "sleep training", and since I really feel uncomfortable with that term, let me rephrase that: it's my third night of not nursing her every hour, on the hour; it's my third night of trying to figure out a compromise between what's best for my baby and what's best for me; it's my third night of wondering what kind of mother I want to be, and what kind of mother I actually am.

See, we had it somewhat easy with Nourit. Yes, she did nurse 2 or 3 times a night for the first year, but she also had stretches where she'd sleep for 6 or 7 hours at a time. In her own bed. She'd at least sleep for 4 hours at a time, but it recently dawned on me that Avi has not yet slept for more than 4 hours in a row in the last 7 months, and I think my current record is at 2 1/2.

I have been reevaluating my mothering choices ever since Avi was born.

It suddenly didn't make sense to me that such a small human being should sleep by herself, away from the warmth and comfort that she'd experienced for so long in my belly. It didn't make sense to ignore her cries for milk or comfort, since she was too young for conscious manipulation. All the natural parenting books and articles I had stumbled upon started to make more sense than the regimented, orderly parenting philosophies that I'd been exposed to originally. Even though Avi is not my first child, I feel like I'm learning so many new things the second time around. And I'm starting to question my choices for Nourit. Even tonight, as I closed her door, I felt like she was still such a little creature to be shut away by herself, in her own room. Yet, she has been sleeping soundly through the night and through naps since she was 1, and that's a healthy thing, right?

When we brought Avi home from the hospital, I brought her into bed with us so we would both get more sleep (something we were too afraid to do with Nourit because we thought we'd squish her.) I didn't have the luxury of naptime now, with a toddler to watch, and work to do. And with so many visitors, I didn't want Avi to cry and disturb them. Sure, they were family, but I never felt comfortable subjecting my in-laws to long bouts of a crying baby. Even after borrowing a friend's co-sleeper, she seemed to spend more time next to me nursing than actually sleeping. But my instincts told me she should be kept warm next to me, and allowed access to me at this crucial time of growth. Unfortunately, Mike and I sleep on a Full sized mattress, not even a Queen, so he was soon relegated to the couch.

And now, here we are. I am sleep-starved, Avi has started to wake up hourly, and I'm feeling rather incredulous about the claims of the women in the last two natural parenting books I've read. For instance, how is it possible that one gets more sleep when they have their infant next to them all night? In my case, I'm always semi-awake and sore from posturing around the child so she can nurse, and for some reason, the smaller they are, the more space they take up. We have moved her from the bed to a crib in our room. But over the past week or so, each hour, it seems, her little head pops up like a turtle as she looks desperately over the edge of her crib for her comfort source.

So, I suppose my compromise is to hold my little force of a baby through the crying, just so she doesn't feel abandoned. (Or, more to the point, so I don't feel that she feels abandoned.) I'm not sure how far memory reaches back, but I have so many memories of crying behind closed doors as a child (which I'm sure fueled my depression later on.) I thought this was normal, until I mentioned it to my childhood friend and she told me she doesn't ever remember crying like that. So I really want to be careful to listen to my children, whether infants or toddlers or school-aged, and not have them retreat behind closed doors to cry. Hopefully, little Avi's body will adjust, she'll eat more during the day, and sleep longer at night. And she'll grow and thrive, and not have a lingering sense of abandonment. Hopefully, too, Nourit isn't learning to be "detached" and destined for co-dependence issues later on in life. With the amount of love we lavish on her during the daytime, I doubt that will happen. But those thoughts do cross my mind.

Maybe soon I'll start getting more sleep, too (and not be on the computer at 4am!) Over the past three years, since getting pregnant with #1, I have been continually amazed at everything I didn't know; had never learned; was never taught; about the “natural” act of giving birth and parenting. Some things come more naturally than others, but there is so much that just isn’t clear. (I seriously wished there was a manual when I left the hospital with Nourit, but then I realized that there are actually hundreds of them. Unfortunately, they all give different advice.) Which path do I choose with regard to sleeping/feeding/clothing/etc? Which philosophy suits me and my child, and to what extent? What happens when I change my mind half-way through? Have I completely messed up my child at that point?? Why didn’t my mother tell me how to be a mother??? (Okay, do you see how I can work myself up at 3am?)

In reality, I do know the answer to all of these – there is no one answer. This is life, and life is different for every child, mother, parent. One thing that is the same for all of us, though, is that we all need more than 2 hours of sleep!!

This is an Original Chicago Mom's Blog Post. When Liz isn't trying desperately to get her baby to sleep, she can be found at sulali.blogspot.com.

Will Potty for Cookies

2008-09-30T10:50:00.004-05:00

Cross Posted from Chicago Moms Blog

from August 25,2008

Not long ago, I felt complete frustration about our beginning attempts at potty training. I wasn't mentally or emotionally ready for Nourit to begin potty training, and would have happily waited until she was 3, but I began it to combat her self-imposed constipation, or as we dubbed it, her 'praying to the poop god.' (This is a pose she would strike to hold it in; knees out, head back, hands pressed together in Namaste. It would last for days until she finally pooped.) Although we'd had the potty for almost a year, and she had had some good times on it, she was, at this point, completely against sitting on the potty. She would scream, kick, sob, and wet every pair of underpants I put on her in protest. It was not a good start, and I had begun to look in the Yellow Pages for Potty Boot Camp.

Then it started to click, and much faster than I expected. We put up a potty chart and it soon began to fill up with stickers. She hasn't stopped giving her toy dragon pretend suppositories, but she has started pooping on her own, and she has made it through a few days without accidents. (Although, she did end our last evening with guests peeing on the floor right in front of them. Oh, well!) Today was the pinnacle in potty training for us after an accident free foray out into the world and back home, wearing underwear. (Both of us, in fact!)

But now I'm afraid she's too good at using the potty. See, we ran out of cookies today.

After days of sheepishly feeding our child 6 or 7 cookies per day, 1 for every time she successfully used her potty (and of course, for every 1 she eats, we eat 2 or 3), we saw the last of the animals, and the end of the alphabet at about 6pm this evening. It was then necessary to break open the chocolate. (It's a good thing we buy it by the pound at Trader Joe's!)

A few months back, when we started promising a 'cookie and a sticker when you poop on the potty', we didn't forsee the day when she actually would do it. Many, many times. Being musicians, we even made up a whole song about it, so of course, that's her mantra now. I know as parents we should be strong enough to put an end to the cookie trail, but we're a little afraid. It's so nice having her run to the potty on her own. It's so nice not changing her diaper so much now. It's so nice not having the neighbors hear her scream bloody murder when we suggest potty time. So we're not ready to give up bribes just yet. I think we are just going to downgrade to chocolate chips...the really little ones...as soon as I can get to the store.

Another Hyde Park Weekend (With One Foray Downtown)

2008-09-28T16:58:00.002-05:00

The weather has been superb and it's been another exhausting weekend. Too many fun things to do! Friday was my full day off and the girls and I headed to Music Together, where Nourit danced but "didn't sing." (That's what Shy Girl told me afterward.) We played at Bixler, headed home, and played in the backyard some more. I didn't want to go inside.

Jessica came about 5 and Mike and I went out ON A DATE! We tried out Bin 36 downtown, and spent a few hours creating our own pairings of wine with cheese. We even made it through an entire evening without mentioning the word 'poop' once. (Not only that, but I wore high heels for the first time in, oh, two years, I think.) It was a real date. Then we came home and watched the follow up news on the debate. Not the most romantic way to end an evening, but oh well.

Saturday morning we ate apricot crepes and headed to the garden. I picked 4 good sized eggplant, herbs, and a few varieties of tomatoes. We walked through the market and talked to some friends and neighbors - besides Moshe and Danielle, we never know who we'll see there. We listened to a group of kids drumming then headed home for Nourit's nap. Boy, did she nap! Avi, on the other hand, remained in the Moby wrap for the entire afternoon, helping me clean.

When Nourit woke up, we headed to the Midway for the Latin Jazz group who was playing as part of the 2nd Annual Hyde Park Jazz Festival. Who should run up but Anissa (who we met exactly a year ago in the same spot) and Felix. It was good to visit with their moms again while the kids danced and ran around. The music was good, too.

Today, Nourit had another chance to dance all around Hyde Park when we walked by the 57th Street Children's Bookfair on our way home from church. She made a paper crown, snagged a blue balloon, and found the parade. Headed up by a group of drummers and consisting of 6 or 7 costumed cartoon characters and a group of ballerinas, the parade marched back and forth on a two block stretch about 3 or 4 times. Nourit decided she was part of the parade and smiled, danced and ran right in the middle of the entire group. By 2:30, after watching a dance exposition, singing with Marsha's Music Together, and purchasing a few books, we headed home hungry, tired and happy.

Now we're resting up for the last shindig of the weekend - our neighbor BBQ in the backyard. We didn't get to the store to pick up any lamb, so it just might be lots of grilled veggies for us!

Stand Up and Be Counted - Or Sit Down and Be Photographed

2008-09-24T21:49:00.008-05:00

Avi has moved from the doing the worm, to downright proper crawling, to pulling herself up to standing. What's next? Playing soccer with Big Sis.

And here's Avi from Nourit's perspective. When I uploaded pictures tonight, I was surprised to find these. Mike didn't 'fess up to taking them, and there were a few following with the telltale finger in the way. But all in all, I think Nourit's getting better camera technique.

Click on the picture above to get a good look at those big front teeth.

What's on the menu these days? Besides breastmilk, Avi has now sampled peas, carrots, avocado, apples, bananas, cereal, arrowroot cookies, and the occasional crumb off the floor.

It's Monday

2008-09-22T14:00:00.002-05:00

Fresh start/clean slate, right? House is tidy, clothes laid out, and we're ready for the week. Ha! I wish! In my dreamiest dreams! No, these days, Monday means a list of 'to do's' swirling in my head all the way to work. It means relegating the mess to the closets until the piano students have come and gone on Tuesday, and Cassia can restore our feng shui on Wednesday.

It also means I've forgotten all the wonderful things that happened between my last post and today. I read once that a silence in a journal can be more telling than the actual writing. Well, my silence tells me that we were really busy. Or tired. Or both.

Avi, my sweet faced little baby, will now be named Crazy Tooth. She can't nurse enough, and when she does - OUCH! I'm trying to have her sleep in bed with me at night - on purpose this time, and not just reactively. I just feel so strongly that she should be next to me right now. I'm not sure how long we'll continue this, but at least until I'm convinced she'll be better off alone. (I'm just not convinced yet, no matter how many times she scrapes her teeth on my...) Anyway, in church yesterday, Pastor Joe was trying to garner signatures for the Nursery Schedule. "The kids don't bite," he said, trying to get the frightened non-parents in the congregation to volunteer. Mike and I immediately pointed to Avi and spoke simultaneously, "This one does!" Later, during our coffee time following service, I saw Joe's eyes get huge as he saw Avi lunge at me and get a swatch of my shirt in between her teeth. She's cute, but she's dangerous.

And Nourit. Our funny, funny-faced Nourit. I need a recorder on me all the time to catch the wonderful things she comes up with. We spend a good deal of time 'training' her (disciplining, for those with stronger stomachs.) But we also spend a good deal of time laughing at/with/because of her. She comes up with funny sayings and funny moves, and there was a moment this weekend where all four of us were on the floor in the hall, and whatever it was she was doing, we just laughed and laughed. Even Avi. I can't remember what she said or did, but I hope this impression will be forever etched in my memory. Here's another, involving our little neighbor, Abigail.

Dueling Toddlers
Nourit had been talking about Abigail all Saturday afternoon. She was wrapping pretend presents for her, and was looking forward to seeing her again. That evening, while we ate dinner, Abigail went outside to play. Nourit barely touched her food while she had a one-sided conversation with her older friend out the window. (Okay, there were alot of wilted greens on that night's menu, which could have accounted for part of it.) Finally, I said we could go outside and she put on her sandals in record time. As soon as she got outside, Abigail, was just as excited that her friend had arrived to play. The girls both raced for the swings and I pushed them while Abigail's dad was grilling their supper. Then Abigail began to sing softly. She had about 3 or 4 songs from VBS that she circulated through. Nourit began to sing, too, her own stream-of-consciousness composition. Abigail got to the second song and began to sing louder. Nourit upped her volume, too. By the third song, accompanied by the screech of the two swings, Abigail sounded like a bible-pounding preacher - YES, JESUS LOVES ME! and Nourit's melodies were getting quite a bit more angular and just plain loud. I asked them if they wanted to go play in the sandbox, and off they went happily - two little friends, playing side by side. The end.

Mike and I had a quick conversation this afternoon as he stopped by my work for a minute. We worry about Nourit being with a babysitter more often this year. This morning, she kept pushing us with her usual attention-getting experiments on the baby, knowing we were running around and trying to get out the door. But I didn't see any of that when I got home today. She had had a wonderful time with Jessica, who I feel so blessed to have in our life right now. She's all of 21, and has more love and energy than anyone I know, and can juggle both of the girls quite successfully. She had put Avi down in her crib for a nap (at this point, she's been in there for almost 2 hours. That just doesn't happen for me!) and Nourit just had pure joy in her eyes as she tried to practice the fish-lip face in the mirror that Jessica had shown her today. After Jessica left with the promise to come back tomorrow, Nourit and I snuggled and read books before she calmly and happily went off for a nap.

And Yet Another

2008-09-17T09:00:00.003-05:00

Avi had 3 and now one more,
That brings the total teeth to 4!

We Like Coffee!

2008-09-16T20:24:00.002-05:00

And we love our new local backstory cafe, so much so that they put us on their website. Check us out! For some reason, it looks like we have no children with us and are deep in conversation about something, well, deep. I imagine Nourit was under the table at that point, and we were discussing when the last time was that she pooped.

Dedicating Avital

2008-09-15T11:47:00.010-05:00

Yesterday we had a small, but important ceremony dedicating Avi to God and our Christian way of life. We did the same thing with Nourit while Jim Smith was pastor, and are happy to be committing Avi two years later under Pastor Joe. It's not something we did in the Church of Christ where I grew up, and it's nothing like infant baptism. It's simply a public declaration on the part of us as parents to raise our children in the love and knowledge of our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ, our Savior. It's also a commitment on the part of our church to help us do this within a Christian community.

It was such a short ceremony - most rituals and ceremonies in our faith and culture seem to be that way - and I tried to grasp how meaningful it really was in that quick moment. We are declaring that the most important thing for our children isn't their health, education or future happiness, but their relationship with God. That's pretty counter-cultural these days, and I know it will take more than one declaration of commitment to ensure they grow up knowing the peace, love and protection that God promises.

I've been praying for Nourit and Avital since they were both in the womb, and will for the rest of our lives. The harder part for me is to know how to "fix the words of (God) in (our) hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on (our) hands and bind them on (our) foreheads. (How to) teach them to (our) children, talking about them when (we) sit at home and when (we) walk along the road, when (we) lie down and when (we) get up." Deuteronomy 11:18-19. It's easy for me to talk to my girls about music, or how to get dressed, or to think imaginatively, but quite a bit more difficult for me to express myself genuinely about matters of faith. It's like French for me - I can speak it fluently in my head, but I stutter when it crosses my lips.

My Up-and-Down Day

2008-09-12T22:10:00.002-05:00

Today was representative of the entire week. The weather in my brain changed almost as much as outside. I crawled out of bed way too early, but enjoyed some time alone once I resigned myself to being awake at 5:30am. By 8:30, I had to take a leave of absence for a half-hour after Nourit refused to sit on the potty. Really, it's no big deal in and of itself. But some huge, ugly monster just awoke inside of me and I had to leave the girls with Mike so I could regain my composure. An hour after that, we were having a wonderful time with friends at Music Together. The highlight was when we were dancing with our scarves and Nourit yells out, "Toot toot! I tooted!" The song, of course, was aptly named 'My Lady Wind.'

I was the recipient of a blessedly wonderful nap this afternoon (see Naptime for Mama) and even stole a few minutes to go out and grab a hot chocolate while I ran a couple errands with Avi while Nourit napped.

Tonight, we decided that nothing is better on a rainy Friday night than gelato. So we got in our 2 month old car and headed for Cafe Gelato. We got bumped. Not hard enough to deploy the airbags, but enough to get the other guy's insurance info. Fortunately, we were all fine, and Avi barely opened her eyes from her motion induced nap. And hopefully Nourit won't remember the idiot who drove by and screamed the F- word about 25 times just to let us know we were holding up traffic. Lovely.

Our gelato was still yummy, though.

Naptime for Mama

2008-09-12T21:49:00.004-05:00

I really needed a nap today like no other day before. Those of you who know me know I'd love to nap, but when given the chance, I usually can't because there is too much racing around in my brain to relax. But today I somehow made it until 1:30 without a drop of caffeine, and quietly acquiesced when Nourit ordered me to lie on the couch as part of her game. Mike took pity on me and told me to go to bed with sleepy Avi, and he'd put Nourit down for her nap. So when I asked Nourit for a kiss before my nap, she decided she'd put me to bed. She escorted me to my room, then grabbed a book off of my bedside table to read to me. She had two choices: The Essential Chomsky or the Holy Bible. She chose the Bible. Then she climbed up next to me and began to read.

"Once upon a time....skidyappolla chikona....mom...nap....boogaskmiaopo...God told Noah...skippy oh...then the bumblebees were there....smogojaybiers...God....mama....The End."

An actual transcript would have been about 5 minutes longer, but I paraphrased the best I could. After this amazing storytelling, Nourit sang me 'Baa Baa Black Sheep - habinany Wool.'

I slept soundly for two hours and woke up feeling like a human being again.

Something That Disturbs Me

2008-09-11T21:05:00.004-05:00

It's a little freaky to me that the ice-cream truck down the street from us plays Christmas carols.

All summer.

Maybe they got a deal on a soundtrack from a Floridian ice-cream truck that runs all year round. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

New Schedule, New Babysitter, New Teeth

2008-09-09T22:20:00.004-05:00

Not only did the cold winds of Autumn blow in this morning, but so did the winds of perpetual change. Mike rolled in from Victoria after midnight, and rolled out of bed by 7:20 in time for me to go back to my morning work routine. (When he rang the buzzer, I distinctly remember thinking, as I woke up from what could probably be called sleep, "What obnoxious toy is making that noise?" ) I really prefer having my mornings with the girls, but I also began to teach lessons again this evening, so had to make the change back to mornings. There's always more work to do for people in the mornings. Leave it until the afternoon and they figure it out for themselves.

3:30 Jessica arrived. She is just as phenomenal as her references said. Although I had already hired another wonderful young woman to help us with childcare during the fall, I knew that we'd never be able to work out a schedule with just one person, so when I met Jessica, I hired her on the spot. That's because Nourit actually responded immediately to her when she came over, and went so far as to escort her to the door with a proper goodbye when the meeting was finished. No trace of Shy Girl with Jessica.

So when she came to watch the girls while I taught lessons tonight, I was surprised at how much more she even impressed me tonight. She played outside with Nourit, and kept her outside laughing and making up new games for quite a long time. (We've had other sitters who refused to go outside.) When they came back into the apartment, somehow the young woman got Nourit to whisper. I honestly didn't think she was physically capable of whispering at this age! I even overheard Jessica being firm with Nourit when she wasn't being nice, and followed it up with positive reinforcement. By the time she left, Nourit was calm, bathed, and ready for bed. And all this while she carried around a screaming Avi. Which was not her fault. Here's why.

Avi has a new tooth! It poked through on the top right front of her mouth tonight! My little barracuda has her third weapon to use on mommy at the least expected moment.

He Gives Strength to the Weary...

2008-09-08T20:32:00.006-05:00

and oh, boy, was I weary this morning. Last night was the worst of the last 5 nights that Mike has been away, and in addition to an insomniac baby, I had a grand mess in the kitchen and rest of the house, so I was ready to lose it. I did lose it. At 4:30 in the morning, I hadn't slept more than 2 hours total, and I was doing the dishes that were piled in the sink, just so I could hook up the dishwasher and run the dirty dishes through that had been sitting for two days. After all, we would need some plates to eat our hamburger buns on for breakfast. (I left the refrigerator open the night before, so we had no food for breakfast except what was in the freezer. Hamburger buns. Yum.)

Crawling back into bed at 5, Avi still was awake, so I took her with me, ruining the last 4 nights of work to keep her in her crib. She immediately calmed down and fell asleep. And I cried. I hadn't even had an hour to myself since last week, I realized, and I wouldn't have any chance to sleep before the girls would be up for the day. The house needed cleaning, and not just for my comfort. It needed cleaning for our health and safety. We needed food in the refrigerator, and I needed to make sure I had a babysitter for this week, and those following. I needed to prepare for lessons starting, and actually show up at work for real. During the dark hours between night and morning, everything seems insurmountable. I prayed, trying not to feel the usual guilt for feeling sorry for myself. I asked God for supernatural strength, not entirely resigned to a reality in which He'd actually give it to me.

Somewhere between 5:30 and 7:30, I dozed. When Nourit woke up, I coaxed her back into bed with me while I nursed Avi, buying a little more time to just lie still. At 8, she said, "Mommy, it's time to get up." I couldn't imagine how I was going to stand up, much less make it through the day. Driving to the store on such little sleep seemed like a dangerous idea, but staying home all day with a toddler seemed more dangerous.

But I did it. I got up, toasted our hamburger buns and spread peanut butter and jam on them, and began to feel something like optimism. It could possibly be a good day. We could go to the store, I could get a coffee to drink while we shopped. I wouldn't have to call child services on myself after all. And even though there were a few episodes where my fuse almost blew, we made it into the car and to Lincoln Park without a hitch. Nourit had a great time pushing her little cart next to mine, and Avi snoozed in the Moby wrap. We went to the coffee shop, bought groceries, and made it back before the rain came. Then, both girls napped (which hasn't happened in a few days), and somehow, as I write this at 9pm, the house is relatively clean. (I did find a cockroach belly up in the cleaning bucket, but at least I didn't have to chase him down.)

An hour ago, I sat down to find the passage in Isaiah that I have highlighted, and turn to so many times.
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. (A much bigger job than keeping the pantry stocked.) He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. (Does that mean He can make sense of my irrational, middle-of-the-night thoughts?) He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak."
And even though I know this verse so well that I intentionally looked for it, it really hit me tonight. He gave me that strength today. In my sleep-deprived weakness, He gave me the power to not only make it through the day, but to feel a peace and a joy that at 4:30 in the morning, I thought I would never feel until my children were adults.

Maybe once school starts, I'll even find myself running races and soaring on wings like eagles.

Overwhelmed

2008-09-05T22:43:00.004-05:00

When I was 2nd year in college at Central Michigan University, I visited regularly for awhile with the preacher's wife. I was severely depressed, misguided, confused, and I was practically begging for answers. I'll always remember her as being distant in a somewhat "holy" way, sort of dreamy and in the clouds. She didn't help me out much, but there is something she said that always stuck with me. She had two little girls, and she told me that when she'd go in to look at them after they had fallen asleep, she would just be overwhelmed with love. I comprehend that now, 15 years later. It's how I feel these nights that Mike is gone and I'm the last one to go to bed. I open Nourit's door and hear her snoring, and look at this little girl all askew on her bed, and am speechless with love. Then I go to my room and see little Avi's compact form sound asleep on her tummy in her crib and again, my heart just constricts. It's almost unbearable.

Back to this Discipline Thing

2008-09-05T15:02:00.002-05:00

I guess it wouldn't be called 'discipline' if it were easy. After all, control through training takes more than one day. Which is why I am thankful that God's mercy is new every morning, since I generally feel the need to start over every day. Life just never seems to stay orderly for me. It might for a few days, or a week at the most, but then the girls get sick, or we go out of town, and whatever disciplined routine I had going flies out the car window as we roll out of Chicago.

Back to God's mercy, though. He has really given me time each day, as well as the impetus, to seek Him. So that part of my quest for discipline has been sustainable, if not necessarily growing, over these past 2 months. Unfortunately, my lovely mornings alone at the garden are a thing of the past, what with a baby who parties from 2-4 am and a husband who keeps leaving me for exotic vacations. (Just kidding, Mike!) I was really motivated by another mother's blog to set aside time each day for prayer. She set aside many times, but I'm not at the point for that. However, I would like to take one long Saturday morning each month to find more stillness and quietness. Mike, can we look at our schedules?

Yoga? Exercise? Not in the last few weeks. I guess it's really not as big a priority right now, but I still would like it to work back into my routine, whenever that's established. (Which will be as soon as Avi starts sleeping more than 2 hours at night. Did I mention Avi is not a good sleeper at night?)

There are so many other things in my life I want to be more regulated. I pay our bills on time, but have little time for budgeting or planning, as I'd like to do each month. Our food life is one of great confusion to me (a blog about that to come soon.) I even feel the need to have a routine 'time-out' for Mike and I, since we rarely go on dates. We've had a few more outings alone this summer than since before Nourit was born, but that always seems to be what we sacrifice. I'm even starting to feel the need to have daily activities for Nourit: art time, library time, playtime, etc. That might be a little too control-freakish of me, though, since she's only two!

This is probably a mundane subject to anyone reading, but keeping this blog actually helps motivate me to continue what I've started.

No Labor, Just Fun this Labor Day Weekend

2008-09-03T14:08:00.015-05:00

It had been more than a year and a half since we had seen Sammy and Joey, and how grown up they both were when we saw them Friday morning after driving all day Thursday to get to Canada. Samantha was very motherly, making Nourit breakfast each morning, and reading to her. Avi found a special spot on Sammy's shoulder and would be found snuggling with Sammy more than anyone this weekend.

Sammy reading Tiki Tiki Tembo to Nourit.

Have you seen a happier baby?

Nourit took her second horseride of the summer, this time with mama on board. Churchill Downs, here we come!

The helmet just wouldn't stay put!

A walk through the woods.

Nourit got everyone in on the Eyebrow action.

The girls were introduced to their first Harrow County Fair. Nourit was fascinated with the cows while they were being milked. (Mama could really identify with them, too.)

We also saw some rabbits and fancy chickens. I would like a fancy chicken so we could eat fancy eggs every morning.

Teaching Nourit the subtler points of Skeeball.

We visited Great-Grandma Debleu and swam in her pool. Nourit even got brave and jumped in a few times. Auntie Michelle taught her how to blow bubbles and that's all she did the rest of her time in the pool.

Our trip home took 11 hours door-to-door. We stopped to see Denton's family and pulled some more crazy faces from Nourit and her friends.

Nourit, Kenzie and Dreya. Baby Whited on the way soon!

And finally, we stopped to see Mark, Michelle and Izzy. Wow, has she changed since Christmas - still a cutie, but now a blonde, mobile, chatty cutie!

~~~
Now we're back home, gearing up for the fall. Mike is on his way to Victoria, B.C. for the Aventa Workshop until Monday. I've been interviewing babysitters for the schoolyear, and am trying hard not to be depressed about the end of a much-too-short summer.

God in the Evolutionary Process

2008-08-27T16:19:00.004-05:00

I recently read an article in the NYTimes about the delicate balance that one teacher is striking with his Christian students to teach them the science of evolution. This has been such a contentious issue for so many years, so why does it seem so simple to me as a Christian? Why can't my God, who is the most powerful and imaginative being to exist, be the author of the evolutionary process?

I am so reticent to speak aloud about matters of faith and science because I feel so inept in both areas. (Maybe attending church alongside rocket scientists and Old Testament scholars has shown me how much I don't know!) But this is my space to write, and so I will try to make my thoughts as coherent as possible, even if I have reams more to read on both subjects. I know (and hope) that my understanding will deepen with age and experience. Here I am at this point in time, however simplistic.

I have come to understand the bible, more to the point, the Christian Old Testament, in such a different way than I had grasped it growing up. And it makes so much more sense to me, especially Genesis, to understand it as a work of literature. I certainly believe that God is powerful enough to create the world and everything in it within 10,080 minutes. (That counts Him resting.) But to me, it makes more sense that the opening chapters of our Bible tell a story figuratively, and that God created a much more interesting and orderly world over a much longer stretch of time. To me, it makes God appear even bigger and more creative in the way He introduced mammals, etc. (us included) into this universe. He set the laws of nature for some good reason, I think.

But that's not the point for me. The point is, while it is imperative that we do our best to think critically and draw the most logical conclusions, it shouldn't matter to our faith the exact manner in which God created us. God created us. And however He did it, whether He set his stopwatch or took His time, it's an amazing work. Whether his way to create us was to evolve us into the latest model, or to set us down as the prototype, we are here now as we are and we're here to serve and worship him. Regardless of how we got here. Either way is a miracle. And frankly, I believe there is so much that God doesn't tell us so how can any of us presume we know the definitive answer? I think that the more scientific discoveries are made, the more God reveals to us how amazing His creation really is. And how vast His resources are as Creator. Observing the evolutionary process doesn't negate our value as humans. It further unveils an imaginative and brilliant Creator.

Come Visit Me in Chicago!

2008-08-27T15:26:00.003-05:00

Or if that's too far, just stay at your computer and click on the Chicago Mom's Blog, where I have just added my voice to a wide variety of other mothers from Chicago, writing about their parenting adventures and mishaps in the Second City. (My children may despise me for this when they are older!)