Happy Birthday, Dear Michael

It's Monday, January 12 and I'm wishing my husband a happy birthday. I'm also wishing him a yummy, homemade cake, and a really cool present (maybe something for the kitchen or electronic.) After that, I'm wishing him a full and speedy recovery from his knee injury, and that his cold woudn't progress. Then, I'm wishing him a wonderful night out for dinner with moi, maybe at Topolobampo (since we had to cancel our reservations for last Friday night.) I'm wishing him angelic children who don't cry, scream or hit each other (at least for one day!) and I'm wishing him a day without deadlines, obligations, and requirements of him to be anywhere but home.

These are my sincere wishes for him, but they may have to wait for a date in the future because today:
-I have something that looks like conjunctivitis and need to skip work to go to the doctor
-I have no plans to bake a cake with puss oozing out my eye
-I did not preplan and purchase a present and unfortunately, all his birthday checks just got rolled into the savings account
-I cannot do anything about his knee, and the reality is, it will take alot of PT before it feels better
-It's cold season, and I can't do anything about that, either (although I did buy alot of citrus!)
-School is in session, so Mike has to teach, be a student, and finish a gargantuan piece of music before he can put his feet up. Both feet up.
-Can't do anything about the children. Cries and screams are just part of the territory.
-And dinner will have to wait until...???

So, my darling, 30 something husband, when ??? arrives, I hope all these wishes come true. Or at least the one about going out to dinner.

Post Christmas Post

Life seemed to get in the way of blogging during the weeks leading up to Christmas, so here is the quick and dirty version. Mike popped his knee out (OUCH!), he spent 8 hours in ER without seeing a doctor, we bought some crutches for him, he visited the doctor and is scheduled for surgery on January 5th. We said goodbye to all of our babysitters for the holiday, and spent alot of time inside while the weather got colder, our car got snowed/iced in, and Mike's knee and work kept him from venturing out too much. I did not send Christmas cards this year and fully regret it, although I'm not sure where I would have fit that in without going completely insane. I'm ready to begin working on them for next year, though. (That will probably be in my New Year's Resolution list.) Despite all this, we did fit a few fun things in.

Here's me with a potent cup of Gluhwein in my hand at Christkindlemarkt. Finally, a year where I'm not pregnant or breastfeeding and I can imbibe. Oh, wait. I guess I'm still breastfeeding...well, Avi enjoyed it, too.


Going to visit Santa at the market was priceless. Nourit was talking the talk for days before. "I'm gonna go see Santa. I'm gonna sit on his lap, and give him a kiss, and tell him I want a bell for Christmas. I looooove Santa." The moment she walked in and saw him, she froze, turned to me, and buried her head in my legs. Granted, the Santa was no more than 25 years old and a little creepy. Avi definitely didn't care for the Santa experience, either. But, Nourit was happy to eat the free candy cane!
Amazingly, with Mike on crutches and me pushing two little ones in the big stroller, we took a bus downtown in the middle of all the slush and snow, braved the cold and ice, and ate sausage and sauerkraut, potato pancakes, and candied nuts and Stollen. Yum, yum!
One of Nourit's favorite poses these days.

The snow has been wonderful this December, except when we need to drive in it. But we have done our best to take advantage and play. One day, after a heavy snow, I put Avi in the Moby wrap and pulled Nourit on the sled to run errands on campus. The stroller never would have made it through the snow, so it worked out perfectly. And I got a work out, too! I can't count how many people asked for a ride!
Christmas Eve, our church was closed, so we went the the 4pm service at Holy Trinity. It was a welcome change from all the work and headaches of the past quarter to focus on Christ's birth and God's gift of love to us. We sang carols, lit candles, and recalibrated ourselves for an hour. Then, we braved the cold (okay, I wasn't so brave, and despite the recalibration, was swearing under my breath at the cold) and went to Chinatown for dinner, in the tradition of the Jews and the Lews.
The girls are definitely getting more and more interested in each other. Of course, there is still sibling rivalry, but I'm getting glimpses of better days ahead!
Christmas morning!! Although Nourit was ready to start the day at 3:30 am, we began opening our stockings at around 8:30. She could hardly contain her excitement over the organic fruit leather and the new toothbrushes. We could have stopped there and she would have been perfectly content. In 10 years, though, I'm guessing it won't be so easy!
Avi, of course, just wanted to eat the wrapping paper.

This gift from Auntie Michelle was the hit of the day.
Crazy Forts has taken over our home.
Easy to please, Avi has a great time with mama's pajamas. No fancy gifts for her!
So the festivities are over (for a day, at least.) Nourit's birthday has passed, the snow is gone, and Mike is back to working on his piece. Today, with the weather almost up to 60 degrees, I took the girls out for a walk in the rain. Avi stayed snug and dry in the stroller, while Nourit splashed happily through every single puddle on the Midway. If she gets sick, I'll feel terrible. But she was really very happy just walking in the rain, splashing as much as she could.

Meet my 3 Year Old

This is Nourit. She's 3 today. I'm so thankful that 3 years ago, we went to the hospital and met her face to face. Since then she's grown into such a funny, smart, sweet and interesting little girl. She's definitely a normal child. She refuses to give goodbye kisses, pushes her little sister out of the way, and sometimes pushes the limit. At the same time, she has an amazing capacity to surprise me with her tenderness and sensitive heart. 3 years have gone by in a flash. I can almost glimpse the little girl she will be in another 3 years.


Today, I took Nourit to the ice-skating rink for the first time. I put her new double blade skates on and out we went to the rink. The weather was perfect. Not too cold. I was so proud of her. From the moment we stepped on the rink, she had no hesitation. She would fall, but would laugh and get right back up. I skated behind her for the first little while, holding both of her hands in mine, and keeping her steady with my body. But then she broke away, preferring to hold onto the side and skate more independently. She expected to go fast, "like rabbits" she said earlier in the day. At the rink, she kept observing how fast everyone was skating. I told her she had to go slowly before she could go fast. I think she accepted that because she didn't seem to get frustrated. After awhile, we went home.
This morning, Nourit helped Mike bake her 3rd birthday cake. It was the cake she requested, chocolate with raspberry. As always, Mike did an amazing job, spending an entire day on his creation. Because we've been so reticent to plan anything this break, we hadn't invited anyone for a party. Nourit was expecting alot of kids to be here on her birthday, I guess because that's been her experience of birthdays thus far. Not wanting to disappoint, (and not wanting to eat the cake all by ourselves!) we invited our neighbors who were still in town (Emma and her mom, Scarlett and her parents and Nana, Kyla and the gang), and her good little friends that we hadn't seen in awhile (Claire and Jacob, and my dear friend, Viola). We had quite a houseful at 4:30 pm! Lots of little ones, lots of chocolate cake, and lots of joy in Nourit's eyes.

And for all our family members who called to wish Nourit a Happy Birthday? Although she put her hands over her ears and wouldn't talk to you on the real phone, I did overhear her calling each of you and talking to you on her new play cell phone. She said she loves you.

Avi, What Are You Doing To Us??

Oh, Avi. You are such a small person, but make such an impact on us. Sometimes destructive, sometimes painful, but always with a smile!

This week, Avi's favorite pastime is pulling every single book, CD, tupperware, whatever, off the shelves. I'm kind of getting sick of picking up the same books 5 times a day.

Avi, who also puts anything that's not nailed down into her mouth, recently started to attempt to pick the hair around Mike's belly button and put it in her mouth. I am happy to report she was not successful in that one.

Speaking of eating, she insists on ignoring the signs we've taught her for 'food' and 'more' (and I know she knows them!) and resorts to screeching like a banshee if you don't give her food fast enough. Gone are the days of snacking on something sugary/salty/non-nutritious in front of her.

To read more about Avi's recent risque behavior, check out my recent blog on Chicago Mom's Blog, 'Take Your Hand Off My Breast.'

Quoting our Children's Books

Since the only books either of us are reading lately are for the 3 and under crowd, we're trying to find ways of identifying. Surprisingly, quite a few apply to our life this week.

Dr. Suess: "Sad Dad Bad Had - Dad is sad. Very, very sad. He had a bad day. Oh, what a bad day dad had."

Jill Murphy: "Because I want 5 minutes peace from all of you!"

Mo Willems: "Where's KNUFFLE BUNNY?" (Insert DODO. 10 x per day.)

Ian Falconer: "Olivia (Nourit), time for your you-know-what!" But Olivia's (Nourit's) not tired.

Sandra Boynton: "We'reveryverybusyandwe'vegotalottodoandwehaven'tgotamomenttoexplain
italltoyouforonSundayMondayTuesdaythereareplaceswemustbeandon
WednesdayThursdayFridaywe'reasbusyascanbewithourmostimportant
meetingsandourmostimportantcallsandwehavetodosomanythings
andpostthemonthewalls."

Memory Loss

Last night, I had the enviable task of snuggling with Nourit in the Ikea chair in her bedroom. Now that Mike is gone from the apartment most days, she stays up later to spend time snuggling with him and they end up having some pretty interesting conversations while I'm in the kitchen doing the dishes, or trying to put Avi to bed. But Mike injured his knee yesterday, rendering him unable to sink into the depths of the chair to snuggle, so the job fell to me.

As we were sitting there, I tried desperately to recall what it was like to hold her there as a baby. I tried to remember how she would look at me while she was nursing, or how she would pull on my long hair (something she still does.) I tried, but all I could come up with were images of photos we'd taken of her when she was an infant, or an articulation of those things - but not the actual memory. I remember in general that she was an easy baby, that I loved our time together when she was nursing, but I can't connect her babyhood looks and actions to her ever-emerging personality at 1 1/2, or 2, or now almost 3 years of age. There's a disconnect somehow. Why can't I recall something I was physically and emotional present for almost constantly?

I look at Avi and am so conscious of the fact that the baby I'm getting to know now might be a completely different little girl. How much of her tenacity in getting my attention, or getting mobile will translate into her character later on? Will I see as many smiles on her face at 3 years of age as I do now? How can I hold on to a moment or two of this evolving and growing person's life?

On a whim, I asked Nourit about memories during her, thus far, short life. Her answer made me laugh to myself, and although I doubt she really remembers things from her infancy, I still have to wonder if a little of it is true.

"Nourit, do you remember being a baby?"

"Yes, I cried because I wanted to eat big-girl food. I cried because I didn't want breastmilk, but I wanted big-girl food."

Sunday Morning Shower

The diningroom looks like Pompeii, thousands of years after the volcano erupted - perfectly preserved food from dinner still on the table, nothing changed from the night before. I want to take a shower, but hubby wants to stay in bed 20 more minutes, sans babies. So I enlist the help of Lady and the Tramp to babysit Nourit while I pull the exersaucer into the bathroom and put Avi inside. I supply her with other toys since she's not interested in the ones that are actually on the exersaucer. I turn on the hot water and get into the shower. Ahhhh...

"I have to go to the potty, Mommy!" Nourit runs into the bathroom. I direct from the shower. I reach out and hand her the stepstool over the exersaucer so she can get onto the big potty. She puts her little potty on top, the one with the soccer ball picture on it. (She loves to say she's peeing on the soccer ball.) She starts to take her pajamas off, but it's hard for her while she's dancing the I've-got-to-go-now dance. I coach her through getting her feet out, and taking the tabs off her diaper. She's finally free and hops up onto the potty. Success! Next, I forcefully tell her she MUST get some toilet paper and wipe. The exersaucer is in the way of the sink, so luckily, there is a box of wipes in the bathroom within the reach of the shower and I toss her one for her hands. Probably not as sanitary as soap and water, but better than nothing. Especially considering what she did next.

Little naked girl is gone for a few minutes, baby is contendedly playing in the saucer. Little naked girl returns happily stating that she had helped herself to ONE chocolate chip. With such an emphasis on the word ONE, I know she has gotten more. I ask a leading question and she 'fesses up. "I got ONE for me, and ONE for Dodo," says the naked girl.

I think my shower turns out to be 15 minutes longer than usual with all management executed from behind the plastic curtain.

What Has Dodo Been Up To Lately?

Find out on the Chicago Moms Blog, where I blogged about Dodo's Great Escape.

If you don't know about the 5th member of our family named Dodo, please click here.

And Now it Begins

The quest for the right school. Preschool, that is. I have been dreading this day ever since I learned from my neighbor what a crazy city this is for getting your child into school. And it's not just once. It's finding the right preschool, and then making sure your name is on the list a year ahead just to be considered for a lottery; it's then making sure you can get into a good Kindergarten/Elementary school, which in turn doesn't guarantee you an automatic feed into a junior high and high school. Oh, no. You have to apply for each of those, as well.

Then, there are the choices. Because where we live, there is no way I'm sending my child to the school down the block. It's not a matter of elitism. It's a matter of her safety (and frankly, a desire for a nurturing and academically challenging atmosphere.) But we're not at academics quite yet. We're still at preschool. And there are alot of them, both private and public, in Hyde Park and downtown Chicago. I think at this point, we're leaning away from homeschooling because we'd have to hire someone else to do that for us!

So today we dove in and visited our dream school for Nourit - the Lycee Francais. We were quite surprised at what a warm and welcoming place it was. I guess we imagined an austere staff, and children who didn't smile. We felt quite the opposite, and are ready to apply before the December deadline. (Yes, that is for admission for Fall 2009. Welcome to Chicago, folks.) The idea of having Nourit immersed in French while she's at the best age for learning another language is our main reason for looking at this school. If she remained there throughout her entire school career, she would graduate with an excellent education under her belt, a year beyond most other schools academically. And growing up bilingual would help her learn other languages more easily, and give her a leg up for in our ever-shrinking global community. The pricetag, however, is (gulp) $13,100/year. For preschool. So obviously, we cannot send our child here unless we get an amazing (and it would have to be almost 100% amazing) discount. We'll still apply, though, because those little kids speaking French were so darn happy.

Please Sir, I Want Some...

Tonight, Avi exhibited again that she speaks English. (With her hands, at least!) While Mike and I ate dinner (and Nourit made playdough cakes), Avi kept putting her hands together for more squash and apples. Not quite as clearly as our ASL friend at the left, but very clearly communicating with her hands what she wanted.

She can also clap and wave. What a smart baby! (Makes up for all the fussiness, I guess!)

Apples and Peppers and Pumpkins, Oh My!

This past Saturday, we ventured down to Garwood Orchards in Indiana with friends from church for one of my absolute all-time favorite activities: Apple Picking! We picked Mutsus and Staymans, Red Peppers, and pumpkins. Of course, we followed it up with some yummy doughnuts and cider. After taking a little bite out of the much-anticipated doughnuts, Nourit quietly said, "Mommy, I don't like doughnuts." What's wrong with my child?? (For the record, she ate red peppers off the vine like they were going out of style.)

Nourit ate an apple as big as her head - and wouldn't share.

Mommy and Nourit looking for the perfect pumpkin. We found it, but it already rotted on our windowsill. Looks like we'll have to start the hunt all over!

Mike trying not to bonk Avi in the head with the ginormous Mutsus.

All Things Gross and Disgusting

So I came home from work today and Jessica handed over two well-fed and happy children. She was staying to help with some cleaning, so I got her started on the laundry and read Nourit her requisite 3 books and put her to bed for a nap. I then picked up Avi and started to put her in the Moby wrap. That's when she erupted. My poor, poor Avi - all the contents of her little tummy came out - the bottle of formula (I ran out of breastmilk in the freezer), her bowl of squash and apples (that she apparently gobbled up at lunch today), and whatever she put in her stomach after I got home and nursed her.

Maybe that was the problem. Jessica said she had eaten so much, but as soon as I picked her up, she threw herself sideways - her sign that she wants to nurse. I didn't think babies would eat when they were full. In fact, my neighbor and I just had that conversation when she told me her pediatrician thought she had overfed her newborn son. "That's crazy," I said. "You can't overfeed a breastfed baby." I'm wondering if maybe it was the formula, but she's had it a few times already now. Possibly the new food she was introduced to today? All three? A lingering bug? I don't know.

The poor thing vomited on Sunday evening, too, but I thought she was over whatever bug she had. I'm not used to a baby who pukes because Nourit never has. Oh, except the one time we went to Joy Yee's and she kept eating mushrooms. The next morning,I looked in her crib and there were all the baby mushrooms she had ingested the night before. "I burped!" she had cried happily. And we vowed never to let her eat so much Chinese food again.

So, Jessica is standing helplessly by while Avi is puking orange stuff all over me and the kitchen floor. But she suddenly springs into action, throws me a towel, and heads off to the nursery to get some new clothes for Avi. Uh-oh. Nourit's bed is all wet, and so are her pants and underwear. I FORGOT TO PUT A DIAPER ON HER! (Sometimes I feel like Dobby. Stupid, stupid Mommy! I mean, Dobby.) Jessica, bless her heart, was trying to get towels for me to bathe Avi, trying to clean Nourit up and put on a video for her, trying to change the sheets on the bunkbed, and trying to clean up the kitchen. She gets an A++ because she managed all of it.

And now my girls are both sound asleep, the laundry is almost finished, and I'm enjoying a cup of hot chocolate. Or rather, I'm drinking hot chocolate so I can stay awake and finish out the day. I hope my Avi starts feeling better. I feel so helpless with a sick child.

Another Hyde Park Weekend (With One Foray Downtown)

The weather has been superb and it's been another exhausting weekend. Too many fun things to do! Friday was my full day off and the girls and I headed to Music Together, where Nourit danced but "didn't sing." (That's what Shy Girl told me afterward.) We played at Bixler, headed home, and played in the backyard some more. I didn't want to go inside.

Jessica came about 5 and Mike and I went out ON A DATE! We tried out Bin 36 downtown, and spent a few hours creating our own pairings of wine with cheese. We even made it through an entire evening without mentioning the word 'poop' once. (Not only that, but I wore high heels for the first time in, oh, two years, I think.) It was a real date. Then we came home and watched the follow up news on the debate. Not the most romantic way to end an evening, but oh well.

Saturday morning we ate apricot crepes and headed to the garden. I picked 4 good sized eggplant, herbs, and a few varieties of tomatoes. We walked through the market and talked to some friends and neighbors - besides Moshe and Danielle, we never know who we'll see there. We listened to a group of kids drumming then headed home for Nourit's nap. Boy, did she nap! Avi, on the other hand, remained in the Moby wrap for the entire afternoon, helping me clean.

When Nourit woke up, we headed to the Midway for the Latin Jazz group who was playing as part of the 2nd Annual Hyde Park Jazz Festival. Who should run up but Anissa (who we met exactly a year ago in the same spot) and Felix. It was good to visit with their moms again while the kids danced and ran around. The music was good, too.

Today, Nourit had another chance to dance all around Hyde Park when we walked by the 57th Street Children's Bookfair on our way home from church. She made a paper crown, snagged a blue balloon, and found the parade. Headed up by a group of drummers and consisting of 6 or 7 costumed cartoon characters and a group of ballerinas, the parade marched back and forth on a two block stretch about 3 or 4 times. Nourit decided she was part of the parade and smiled, danced and ran right in the middle of the entire group. By 2:30, after watching a dance exposition, singing with Marsha's Music Together, and purchasing a few books, we headed home hungry, tired and happy.

Now we're resting up for the last shindig of the weekend - our neighbor BBQ in the backyard. We didn't get to the store to pick up any lamb, so it just might be lots of grilled veggies for us!

Stand Up and Be Counted - Or Sit Down and Be Photographed

Avi has moved from the doing the worm, to downright proper crawling, to pulling herself up to standing. What's next? Playing soccer with Big Sis.


And here's Avi from Nourit's perspective. When I uploaded pictures tonight, I was surprised to find these. Mike didn't 'fess up to taking them, and there were a few following with the telltale finger in the way. But all in all, I think Nourit's getting better camera technique.

Click on the picture above to get a good look at those big front teeth.

What's on the menu these days? Besides breastmilk, Avi has now sampled peas, carrots, avocado, apples, bananas, cereal, arrowroot cookies, and the occasional crumb off the floor.

It's Monday

Fresh start/clean slate, right? House is tidy, clothes laid out, and we're ready for the week. Ha! I wish! In my dreamiest dreams! No, these days, Monday means a list of 'to do's' swirling in my head all the way to work. It means relegating the mess to the closets until the piano students have come and gone on Tuesday, and Cassia can restore our feng shui on Wednesday.

It also means I've forgotten all the wonderful things that happened between my last post and today. I read once that a silence in a journal can be more telling than the actual writing. Well, my silence tells me that we were really busy. Or tired. Or both.

Avi, my sweet faced little baby, will now be named Crazy Tooth. She can't nurse enough, and when she does - OUCH! I'm trying to have her sleep in bed with me at night - on purpose this time, and not just reactively. I just feel so strongly that she should be next to me right now. I'm not sure how long we'll continue this, but at least until I'm convinced she'll be better off alone. (I'm just not convinced yet, no matter how many times she scrapes her teeth on my...) Anyway, in church yesterday, Pastor Joe was trying to garner signatures for the Nursery Schedule. "The kids don't bite," he said, trying to get the frightened non-parents in the congregation to volunteer. Mike and I immediately pointed to Avi and spoke simultaneously, "This one does!" Later, during our coffee time following service, I saw Joe's eyes get huge as he saw Avi lunge at me and get a swatch of my shirt in between her teeth. She's cute, but she's dangerous.

And Nourit. Our funny, funny-faced Nourit. I need a recorder on me all the time to catch the wonderful things she comes up with. We spend a good deal of time 'training' her (disciplining, for those with stronger stomachs.) But we also spend a good deal of time laughing at/with/because of her. She comes up with funny sayings and funny moves, and there was a moment this weekend where all four of us were on the floor in the hall, and whatever it was she was doing, we just laughed and laughed. Even Avi. I can't remember what she said or did, but I hope this impression will be forever etched in my memory. Here's another, involving our little neighbor, Abigail.

Dueling Toddlers
Nourit had been talking about Abigail all Saturday afternoon. She was wrapping pretend presents for her, and was looking forward to seeing her again. That evening, while we ate dinner, Abigail went outside to play. Nourit barely touched her food while she had a one-sided conversation with her older friend out the window. (Okay, there were alot of wilted greens on that night's menu, which could have accounted for part of it.) Finally, I said we could go outside and she put on her sandals in record time. As soon as she got outside, Abigail, was just as excited that her friend had arrived to play. The girls both raced for the swings and I pushed them while Abigail's dad was grilling their supper. Then Abigail began to sing softly. She had about 3 or 4 songs from VBS that she circulated through. Nourit began to sing, too, her own stream-of-consciousness composition. Abigail got to the second song and began to sing louder. Nourit upped her volume, too. By the third song, accompanied by the screech of the two swings, Abigail sounded like a bible-pounding preacher - YES, JESUS LOVES ME! and Nourit's melodies were getting quite a bit more angular and just plain loud. I asked them if they wanted to go play in the sandbox, and off they went happily - two little friends, playing side by side. The end.

Mike and I had a quick conversation this afternoon as he stopped by my work for a minute. We worry about Nourit being with a babysitter more often this year. This morning, she kept pushing us with her usual attention-getting experiments on the baby, knowing we were running around and trying to get out the door. But I didn't see any of that when I got home today. She had had a wonderful time with Jessica, who I feel so blessed to have in our life right now. She's all of 21, and has more love and energy than anyone I know, and can juggle both of the girls quite successfully. She had put Avi down in her crib for a nap (at this point, she's been in there for almost 2 hours. That just doesn't happen for me!) and Nourit just had pure joy in her eyes as she tried to practice the fish-lip face in the mirror that Jessica had shown her today. After Jessica left with the promise to come back tomorrow, Nourit and I snuggled and read books before she calmly and happily went off for a nap.

Dedicating Avital

Yesterday we had a small, but important ceremony dedicating Avi to God and our Christian way of life. We did the same thing with Nourit while Jim Smith was pastor, and are happy to be committing Avi two years later under Pastor Joe. It's not something we did in the Church of Christ where I grew up, and it's nothing like infant baptism. It's simply a public declaration on the part of us as parents to raise our children in the love and knowledge of our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ, our Savior. It's also a commitment on the part of our church to help us do this within a Christian community.

It was such a short ceremony - most rituals and ceremonies in our faith and culture seem to be that way - and I tried to grasp how meaningful it really was in that quick moment. We are declaring that the most important thing for our children isn't their health, education or future happiness, but their relationship with God. That's pretty counter-cultural these days, and I know it will take more than one declaration of commitment to ensure they grow up knowing the peace, love and protection that God promises.

I've been praying for Nourit and Avital since they were both in the womb, and will for the rest of our lives. The harder part for me is to know how to "fix the words of (God) in (our) hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on (our) hands and bind them on (our) foreheads. (How to) teach them to (our) children, talking about them when (we) sit at home and when (we) walk along the road, when (we) lie down and when (we) get up." Deuteronomy 11:18-19. It's easy for me to talk to my girls about music, or how to get dressed, or to think imaginatively, but quite a bit more difficult for me to express myself genuinely about matters of faith. It's like French for me - I can speak it fluently in my head, but I stutter when it crosses my lips.

My Up-and-Down Day

Today was representative of the entire week. The weather in my brain changed almost as much as outside. I crawled out of bed way too early, but enjoyed some time alone once I resigned myself to being awake at 5:30am. By 8:30, I had to take a leave of absence for a half-hour after Nourit refused to sit on the potty. Really, it's no big deal in and of itself. But some huge, ugly monster just awoke inside of me and I had to leave the girls with Mike so I could regain my composure. An hour after that, we were having a wonderful time with friends at Music Together. The highlight was when we were dancing with our scarves and Nourit yells out, "Toot toot! I tooted!" The song, of course, was aptly named 'My Lady Wind.'

I was the recipient of a blessedly wonderful nap this afternoon (see Naptime for Mama) and even stole a few minutes to go out and grab a hot chocolate while I ran a couple errands with Avi while Nourit napped.

Tonight, we decided that nothing is better on a rainy Friday night than gelato. So we got in our 2 month old car and headed for Cafe Gelato. We got bumped. Not hard enough to deploy the airbags, but enough to get the other guy's insurance info. Fortunately, we were all fine, and Avi barely opened her eyes from her motion induced nap. And hopefully Nourit won't remember the idiot who drove by and screamed the F- word about 25 times just to let us know we were holding up traffic. Lovely.

Our gelato was still yummy, though.

Naptime for Mama

I really needed a nap today like no other day before. Those of you who know me know I'd love to nap, but when given the chance, I usually can't because there is too much racing around in my brain to relax. But today I somehow made it until 1:30 without a drop of caffeine, and quietly acquiesced when Nourit ordered me to lie on the couch as part of her game. Mike took pity on me and told me to go to bed with sleepy Avi, and he'd put Nourit down for her nap. So when I asked Nourit for a kiss before my nap, she decided she'd put me to bed. She escorted me to my room, then grabbed a book off of my bedside table to read to me. She had two choices: The Essential Chomsky or the Holy Bible. She chose the Bible. Then she climbed up next to me and began to read.

"Once upon a time....skidyappolla chikona....mom...nap....boogaskmiaopo...God told Noah...skippy oh...then the bumblebees were there....smogojaybiers...God....mama....The End."

An actual transcript would have been about 5 minutes longer, but I paraphrased the best I could. After this amazing storytelling, Nourit sang me 'Baa Baa Black Sheep - habinany Wool.'

I slept soundly for two hours and woke up feeling like a human being again.

New Schedule, New Babysitter, New Teeth

Not only did the cold winds of Autumn blow in this morning, but so did the winds of perpetual change. Mike rolled in from Victoria after midnight, and rolled out of bed by 7:20 in time for me to go back to my morning work routine. (When he rang the buzzer, I distinctly remember thinking, as I woke up from what could probably be called sleep, "What obnoxious toy is making that noise?" ) I really prefer having my mornings with the girls, but I also began to teach lessons again this evening, so had to make the change back to mornings. There's always more work to do for people in the mornings. Leave it until the afternoon and they figure it out for themselves.

3:30 Jessica arrived. She is just as phenomenal as her references said. Although I had already hired another wonderful young woman to help us with childcare during the fall, I knew that we'd never be able to work out a schedule with just one person, so when I met Jessica, I hired her on the spot. That's because Nourit actually responded immediately to her when she came over, and went so far as to escort her to the door with a proper goodbye when the meeting was finished. No trace of Shy Girl with Jessica.

So when she came to watch the girls while I taught lessons tonight, I was surprised at how much more she even impressed me tonight. She played outside with Nourit, and kept her outside laughing and making up new games for quite a long time. (We've had other sitters who refused to go outside.) When they came back into the apartment, somehow the young woman got Nourit to whisper. I honestly didn't think she was physically capable of whispering at this age! I even overheard Jessica being firm with Nourit when she wasn't being nice, and followed it up with positive reinforcement. By the time she left, Nourit was calm, bathed, and ready for bed. And all this while she carried around a screaming Avi. Which was not her fault. Here's why.

Avi has a new tooth! It poked through on the top right front of her mouth tonight! My little barracuda has her third weapon to use on mommy at the least expected moment.

Overwhelmed

When I was 2nd year in college at Central Michigan University, I visited regularly for awhile with the preacher's wife. I was severely depressed, misguided, confused, and I was practically begging for answers. I'll always remember her as being distant in a somewhat "holy" way, sort of dreamy and in the clouds. She didn't help me out much, but there is something she said that always stuck with me. She had two little girls, and she told me that when she'd go in to look at them after they had fallen asleep, she would just be overwhelmed with love. I comprehend that now, 15 years later. It's how I feel these nights that Mike is gone and I'm the last one to go to bed. I open Nourit's door and hear her snoring, and look at this little girl all askew on her bed, and am speechless with love. Then I go to my room and see little Avi's compact form sound asleep on her tummy in her crib and again, my heart just constricts. It's almost unbearable.