5,6,7!

You can't see them in the picture, but Avi now has 3 more teeth! Top and bottom right, and bottom left. She'll be all set for corn-on-the-cob by June!

The Rest of the Resolutions

So here's the fun list. Anything and everything I've wanted to accomplish in my lifetime, both past and future, to be attempted in one year - 2009.

In no particular order:

1) Finish knitting the hat I've started 3 times, and other stuff.

2) Organize the nursery (ie, put up more hooks.)

3) Recycle more. Meaning, throw less in the wastebasket next to me and more in the recycling bin all the way across the apartment.

4) Find ways to consume less.

5) Buy a composter. This conflicts with #4, but ultimately will help us waste less.

6) Begin our garden sooner this year. Before June.

7) Take more time with my appearance. Do my hair, iron my clothes, try to look less tired.

8) Intake less sugar. That means no more birthday parties!

9) Practice yoga. Find a parent-child yoga video or class. Find a class to go to once in a while - alone.

10) Date nights. Regularly. And refer to #7 on that particular night.

11) Plan Christmas presents long before December. And maybe actually make some nice things.

12) Continuing the Christmas theme: plan Advent activities long before Advent begins.

13) And organize my computer address book so I'm ready to send Christmas cards on time.

14) Play the piano.

15) Listen to more music intentionally. Watch Die Zauberflote (since I've only had it for 2 years now and haven't watched it.) Watch more opera on dvd.

16) Floss more.

17) Organize photos and videos on computer.

18) Frame the family pictures that have been waiting in my drawer for 10 years for this very event.

19) Listen to Mike's music - score in hand - really listen intentionally. (There's that word again!)

Happy New Year

It's 10:30 and we just got back from a wonderful New Year's Eve party at Marsha's home. Marsha, (of Marsha's Music Together fame,) is the most amazing person. Children love her, including my own. Nourit couldn't wait to go to her party, eat, sing and dance, which is just what we did. (Okay, we ate, sang, and lounged on couches and car seats, but Nourit grabbed Marsha from behind and danced with her a bit!) I have been such a grouch for the past few months of 2008 that I couldn't imagine having fun at a party with two girls after 6pm. It was a relaxed and fun time, though, and the best part was singing along to piano and guitar - and I'm not talking about a Wii Rock Band.

So in an hour and a half, we'll say goodbye to 2008. Hopefully Nourit will be sleeping by then (she's on her third or fourth book with her dad right now) and so will I. For the past few years at Christmas, many friends send letters outlining their activities from the past year. We've done that, too, the past year or so. This year, I had no such inclination. It's not that it was a terrible year - it was just fatiguing. And I'm too tired to look backward. So forward it is - into 2009!

Although I love lists, I've refrained from listing any New Year's Resolutions for quite awhile. I guess I just don't want to be disappointed when I can't even make it out of the gate on any of them. This year, however, I'm so in need of a change -a change in my energy level, a change in my mental state, a change in my attitude - that I just want to write down all the things I'm looking forward to revamping as a sort of hopeful gesture. I know our circumstances aren't about to change much. It's going to be another busy, frantic year, just trying to make deadlines, making sure the babies are taken care of properly, and making ends meet. So here is a list I will publish for all the world to see (or at least my dad), and hopefully it will make me a little more accountable, or serve as a reminder to be hopeful and forward-looking, at the very least.

1) Pray without ceasing. And try to snatch some quiet time whenever possible. This one is a continuation of, well, my entire life's aim. I wrote about it in a season of expectancy this past year, but the quiet time always seems to elude me. I have no problem praying continually. The problem is my prayer is more like a constant drone. With two little girls, a job, and a husband who is busy, time is at a premium. If I can be successful at this one thing, I think it will a) contribute to success at the rest of my list, and b) be directly from God.

2) Go slow. er. I always feel like there is too much to do to slow down. The reality is, there is too much to do. If I go slow, though, and spend more time and attention on the project at hand, then maybe the things that go un-done will end up not mattering quite so much. If it's the housework that goes undone, though, I'm not sure I will be able to function. So now it's time to look for a new cleaning person.

I'll have to refrain from scheduling too much, as well, which is difficult. I really have cut way back on as much as possible, at the expense of things I really enjoy. It's hard to cut back on visiting friends and making playdates, though, because I need the support (and commiseration) of other moms, and Nourit is definitely at a social stage in her life. But when I have to go from bible study to work, and I'm yelling at Nourit to get going, something has to give.

3) Play the piano and listen to more music. This has gone the way of my yoga practicing intentions as well. I need to exercise to feel whole. I also need to make music to feel whole. Unfortunately, those things get short shrift and it's always, "Later, later." Later hasn't arrived yet. I may have to work out a time once or twice a week to have the babysitter stay so I can start working out my fingers again and remember what it is that I'd like to do in this lifetime.

4) Love my husband more. I love my husband more than the day I married him. But all the things I vowed when we were first married to always do; kiss him passionately every day, always make him my ally and be his ally, put him first before our kids; all these things have gone by the wayside in the midst of our "life." We spend so much time, energy, and affection on our children that sometimes, there's not a whole lot left to give to each other. We did make an attempt at date night this past quarter, and have one planned for next Friday, so we've got a start!

5) Criticize and judge less. Not to sound selfish, but I mean this about myself. I'm probably the most self-reflective person you'll meet. You may not know it though, because even though I'm the first to recognize my faults, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm good at correcting them. I think, though, that if I can love myself a little more, give myself a break, and try to really see myself as God sees me, then I'll be less prone to hold others to this impossible yard-stick I wield.

I think five is enough for now. There are a few others, like 'Send Christmas Cards Next Year', or 'Take a Family Picture,' or 'Finish Knitting Hats for the Girls.' But that will be another list, for another post. A more fun post. In the meantime, here's to an ambitious 2009!

There's a New Deli in Town

We've been in Hyde Park awhile now, starting on our 6th year, amazingly enough. During that time we've been excited to welcome the expansion of Hyde Park Produce on 53rd Street, the backstory cafe on 61st Street, and Istria Cafe, under the traintracks on 57th Street and in the Hyde Park Art Center. These are our favorite places to frequent, and now, from the owners of Istria, comes Zaleski & Horvath MarketCafe, on 47th Street.

Yesterday, we drove over after church (it's a little far for a walk with the stroller for us) and stopped in to drink some coffee and look around. Both of the owners were there and gave us such a warm welcome, explaining their coffee making process (with a Clover coffee machine, brewing coffee, not just espresso, 1 cup at a time), slicing samples of their wide variety of cheeses for us to try, and writing down our suggestions for market items. (I suggested dried egg whites, because I can never seem to find them for the cookie icing I want to try.)

Although the $8/bag of King Arthur flour** is a bit too expensive for us, we'll definitely go back for the deli. We took home two cheeses that we had with a baguette for dinner last night - delicious! And their selection of sandwiches looks amazing. I hope (and will suggest) they expand their baked good selection to include something chocolate-y and some flaky croissant. (If they put a little nib of chocolate on Mike's espresso plate, he would be very happy, too.)

The store is decorated with great old family pictures, most prominently the patriarchs of the Zaleski and Horvath families. Already, a week or two after opening, there were quite a few people in the store, drinking coffee, and milling around. One of the owners (the tall, blonde one) said the opening of the store happened just around the time his first baby was born, so he is looking forward to raising two "children", I guess!

One of the things that draws us to a place is the people. I love the small-town feel of knowing from whom I'm buying. I love to support store owners who are trying to provide the best quality item and good service to our neighborhood. The Z & H Market isn't perfect yet, but I'll be drawn back to watch it grow because of the personal welcome we received from the moment we arrived to the moment we left (squirrelly children notwithstanding!)

**Since posting this, the owners said they repriced the flour. They really, truly are interested in their clients needs/wishes! All the more reason to go back! (in addition to the cheese and coffee...)

Please Sir, I Want Some...

Tonight, Avi exhibited again that she speaks English. (With her hands, at least!) While Mike and I ate dinner (and Nourit made playdough cakes), Avi kept putting her hands together for more squash and apples. Not quite as clearly as our ASL friend at the left, but very clearly communicating with her hands what she wanted.

She can also clap and wave. What a smart baby! (Makes up for all the fussiness, I guess!)

Dedicating Avital

Yesterday we had a small, but important ceremony dedicating Avi to God and our Christian way of life. We did the same thing with Nourit while Jim Smith was pastor, and are happy to be committing Avi two years later under Pastor Joe. It's not something we did in the Church of Christ where I grew up, and it's nothing like infant baptism. It's simply a public declaration on the part of us as parents to raise our children in the love and knowledge of our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ, our Savior. It's also a commitment on the part of our church to help us do this within a Christian community.

It was such a short ceremony - most rituals and ceremonies in our faith and culture seem to be that way - and I tried to grasp how meaningful it really was in that quick moment. We are declaring that the most important thing for our children isn't their health, education or future happiness, but their relationship with God. That's pretty counter-cultural these days, and I know it will take more than one declaration of commitment to ensure they grow up knowing the peace, love and protection that God promises.

I've been praying for Nourit and Avital since they were both in the womb, and will for the rest of our lives. The harder part for me is to know how to "fix the words of (God) in (our) hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on (our) hands and bind them on (our) foreheads. (How to) teach them to (our) children, talking about them when (we) sit at home and when (we) walk along the road, when (we) lie down and when (we) get up." Deuteronomy 11:18-19. It's easy for me to talk to my girls about music, or how to get dressed, or to think imaginatively, but quite a bit more difficult for me to express myself genuinely about matters of faith. It's like French for me - I can speak it fluently in my head, but I stutter when it crosses my lips.

New Schedule, New Babysitter, New Teeth

Not only did the cold winds of Autumn blow in this morning, but so did the winds of perpetual change. Mike rolled in from Victoria after midnight, and rolled out of bed by 7:20 in time for me to go back to my morning work routine. (When he rang the buzzer, I distinctly remember thinking, as I woke up from what could probably be called sleep, "What obnoxious toy is making that noise?" ) I really prefer having my mornings with the girls, but I also began to teach lessons again this evening, so had to make the change back to mornings. There's always more work to do for people in the mornings. Leave it until the afternoon and they figure it out for themselves.

3:30 Jessica arrived. She is just as phenomenal as her references said. Although I had already hired another wonderful young woman to help us with childcare during the fall, I knew that we'd never be able to work out a schedule with just one person, so when I met Jessica, I hired her on the spot. That's because Nourit actually responded immediately to her when she came over, and went so far as to escort her to the door with a proper goodbye when the meeting was finished. No trace of Shy Girl with Jessica.

So when she came to watch the girls while I taught lessons tonight, I was surprised at how much more she even impressed me tonight. She played outside with Nourit, and kept her outside laughing and making up new games for quite a long time. (We've had other sitters who refused to go outside.) When they came back into the apartment, somehow the young woman got Nourit to whisper. I honestly didn't think she was physically capable of whispering at this age! I even overheard Jessica being firm with Nourit when she wasn't being nice, and followed it up with positive reinforcement. By the time she left, Nourit was calm, bathed, and ready for bed. And all this while she carried around a screaming Avi. Which was not her fault. Here's why.

Avi has a new tooth! It poked through on the top right front of her mouth tonight! My little barracuda has her third weapon to use on mommy at the least expected moment.

Come Visit Me in Chicago!

Or if that's too far, just stay at your computer and click on the Chicago Mom's Blog, where I have just added my voice to a wide variety of other mothers from Chicago, writing about their parenting adventures and mishaps in the Second City. (My children may despise me for this when they are older!)

Potty Boot Camp

Is there such a thing as Potty Boot Camp? You know, a place where you drop your toddler off in diapers and they come back a week later wearing underwear, able (and willing) to use the potty? Up until now, I've never wanted to spend even a night away from Nourit, but at this point, I can make the sacrifice. I'll let her go for a week - as long as someone else will potty train her.

I can't say for sure how long we've been "training" Nourit. I wouldn't say we'd even begun, except we've had the potty chair for almost a year now, and we've watched at least 1,000 repetitions of 'Go Potty Go.' She's run the gamut from screaming and crying when we suggest sitting on the potty, to a few weeks of happily pooping daily on her little green seat with the cute frog on it. (And at this point, everyone who is not the parent of a toddler is allowed to stop reading, because it only gets worse from here.)

Now we're back to the screaming. And I would happily keep her in diapers until she turns 4. Let's face it, it's way easier on us. But she's started praying to the Poop God again, and she's started giving her dragon suppositories (yes, she can pronounce the word very clearly,) so I think the only option to combat her self-imposed constipation is to get her used to sitting on the potty regularly, which I think is referred to as potty hell. Sorry, potty training.

I really don't know why she's constipated at all, except she's been a weird pooper her entire life. When she was 5 or 6 months old, she went for 3 weeks at a time without pooping. It eventually came out, and she never seemed uncomfortable, so the doctor wasn't concerned. Then, as she got older, she'd spend days dropping to her knees, thrusting her head back, and pressing her hands together in a prayer-like position. Finally, she'd poop, and it would stop for a day or so, before she resumed her unique regimen. Still, though, she never seemed like she was in any kind of pain. And goodness knows, her diet consists of more fiber and dried fruit than, well, than any other person or animal I know.

Then, a few months ago, it really seemed like it was difficult for her, and at that point, I brought up the issue with the doctor again. He suggested mineral oil, and it was like magic! She would poop every day, on her potty, no less, and it seemed like it would finally be possible to potty train her without hysterics. But the mineral oil lost it's charm and she's refusing to sit on the cute little green seat, and so we've introduced her (and dragon) to the words 'suppository' and 'underwear.'

I have no idea if it will work, but at this point, what else is there? I've cut cow's milk out of her diet, and put her in underwear while we're at home. (Pull-ups are just a marketing scam, and training pants are just diapers without leak protection.) I ask a billion times a day, "Would you like to sit on the potty?" and get screams of "Noooooo! Can't want to!", followed by "Hey! I pee'd on the floor!" (or the puzzle, or the couch...) In those moments, I'm possessed by the desire to shame or ridicule her into sitting on the potty, but all the books say I shouldn't do that. (Does going to the pantry to get myself a cookie after I peed, and very obviously not giving her one since she didn't, count as shame?)

Anyway, there have been alot of things about having a child that I wasn't sure how I'd handle. But surprisingly, I've regularly maintained a calm demeanor with the get-my-child-into-a-snowsuit-boots-hat-scarf-mittens-then-out-the-door routine, and escaped unscathed from putting Nourit on a sleep schedule at 12 months, as well as weaning her at 16 months. (Well, she did that on her own. One day, she just looked at me and laughed when I offered to nurse her like usual. And that was the end of that.)

But the whole potty training thing is like going into medieval battle for me. And as Karen Carpenter so sweetly put it, "We've only just begun."

Got Teeth?

Yesterday afternoon, we discovered Avi's first two teeth! So long, gummy, toothless grin - Hello, chewing gum...

It's a sign! and $360 Worth of Baby Vitamins

She did it! Avi exhibited, very clearly, her first sign - MILK!

The sign for "milk" is made by forming the right hand into the letter "s."

Open and close your hand, alternating between the letters "c" and "s." (Copied from Lifeprint.com)

I've been signing milk for a couple months now, and Mike said he saw her do it yesterday, but I thought it was probably just a clenched fist reflex from being upset. But tonight, at the dinner table, she'd been fussing for awhile, and from her perch in her daddy's arms, she looked directly at me with red-rimmed eyes and squeezed her right hand like she was milking a cow. So of course, I gave her what she asked for!


~~~~~~~

The FedEx man brought me three boxes today full of Enfamil baby vitamins. $360 worth, to be exact. I think it was a big mixup at the company. See, I was supposed to receive 3 replacement bottles of vitamins, not 3 cases containing a dozen bottles each. And at $10 a bottle, that's a pretty big mistake.

Over the past 2 years, I've been buying the vitamins that the doctor had prescribed for Nourit, with the fruity flavor she loves. But for some reason, the last three bottles were flatly refused, by both my toddler and my infant. I figured out why when I tasted them myself. Horrid stuff. So I contacted Enfamil, and had a wonderful experience with them. The customer service woman sent me a prepaid envelope to send them to the lab and promised to replace them. When the new bottles came in the mail, we all had the same reaction - yuck! I finally figured out that it was my mistake, and that the formula hadn't changed at all. I had just begun buying the vitamins with the iron supplement. How any child would ever accept that in their mouths is beyond me. It's wretched. Anyway, it was my expensive mistake, but I sent the vitamins back with a handwritten note asking if they could replace them with the non-iron vitamins. I think 36 bottles is more than sufficient!

Ancient Baby

It's so bizarre - so many times I look intently into Avi's face and she looks back at me like someone much older and more prescient than a 5 month old. She smiles more than any baby I know (even though she can be really fussy if not being held a certain way all the time!) But sometimes I'm convinced that she's got an ancient's mind trapped inside an infant's body.

Blank slate - now what?

Ever since I learned what a blog was, (not so long ago!), I've been tempted to try it. Sometimes I walk home from work, or from the playlot, or the garden, and have a monologue running through my head. I want to write it all down, capture the moment, but then I get home and something else comes up. Mostly, I want to capture the moments with my kids and my family - the ones that just amaze me, and the ones that make me laugh. At the same time, though, I think - is this egocentric? So many other people say the same thing more elegantly. Does anyone else really want to hear the monologue in my head? Or the day-to-dayness that might not be so amazing to anyone else? Maybe not. Maybe it will just be my outlet, diary, record-of-my-family-life. We'll see where it goes...